Today, my husband is finally fully recovered from getting decompression... - FML

By Rellies

Today, my husband is finally fully recovered from getting decompression sickness during our scuba diving vacation. Today is also the day I snapped my femur in half while skiing. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1947

You deserved it

255

Tweet

Share

Season finale

Late term

Social distancing

By Anonymous

Today, while buying Red Dead Redemption 2, the cashier spoiled the ending. FML

I agree, your life sucks

3140

You deserved it

308

Tweet

Share

By AnonymousOne

Today, I took my car to dealer because of the loud knocking sound I heard while driving it. Twenty-four hours later, they told me it was fixed. Fifteen minutes after I drove away, the tire flew off my car while I was on the highway. My car is now totaled. FML

I agree, your life sucks

10958

You deserved it

619

Tweet

Share

By PumaGator

Today, I was added to a random group chat. They were planning to film a porno and each member sent a nude. They were all grannies. FML

I agree, your life sucks

16707

You deserved it

2068

Tweet

Share

By Stairway2Heaven - Canada

Judgmental much!?

Today, I came home to find that my room had been ransacked. My mom comes out of nowhere and says that we need to have a talk. I freaked out thinking it was all the empty alcohol bottles under my bed. My mom holds up the birth control and says, "I always knew you were a whore." FML

I agree, your life sucks

69315

You deserved it

19371

Tweet

Share

By geli

Today, while at the public swimming pool, I gave my 2-year-old daughter a piggy back ride in the pool. We were having fun until I realized she had untied my swim top. FML

I agree, your life sucks

13689

You deserved it

1412

Tweet

Share

By grossedout

Today, I was walking back to my dorm with my boyfriend. He was being really sweet as he held my hand. We were about to kiss goodnight and as he pushed some hair out of my face he said, "Can we hurry it up? I'm about to rip one." FML

I agree, your life sucks

32962

You deserved it

3703

Tweet

Share

By Almost_Homeless - Canada - London

Today, my landlord started showing my apartment, where I have lived and paid rent for over 2 years, to prospective tenants. I didn't realize that I was moving. FML

I agree, your life sucks

46899

You deserved it

3384

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United States

Today, I woke up to my psycho roommate trying to baptize me in my sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks

54246

You deserved it

5198

Tweet

Share

By lekijkerd - Netherlands - Leusden

Today, I went to see my favorite band. It was all amazing and great until I decided to go crowd surfing. I was maybe too heavy because people jumped away instead of catching me. I fell right on my tailbone. FML

I agree, your life sucks

8665

You deserved it

32226

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - Canada

Today, I accidentally dropped my phone while I was crossing the road. Luckily, it survived the fall. Not so luckily, an oncoming bus steamrolled it into oblivion. FML

I agree, your life sucks

26148

You deserved it

3842

Tweet

Share

By itchyitch - United States - Monterey Park

Cheapskate suds

Today, it turns out the beautiful, "organic" artisanal soap my boyfriend gave me actually came from the 99 cents store. He just wrapped it in some cellophane and gave it to me. I’m currently itching to death from the godawful rash and hives it gave me. I may need to go to the ER. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1799

You deserved it

214

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United States - Peru

Classic Jeff

Today, it was my wedding day. My new husband decided it would be a good idea, when he was supposed to do his speech, to stand up and say, "Ladies and gentlemen, may I have your attention please. Genitals. That is all." FML

I agree, your life sucks

8770

You deserved it

1502

Tweet

Share

By Tom

Today, after setting up surveillance in my front yard to see whose dog keeps crapping on my lawn, I finally caught the culprit on film. It was my heroin addict neighbour. FML

I agree, your life sucks

42170

You deserved it

3575

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 20/9/2020 17:00 - United States

Mr. Burns

Today, I put icy hot on my aching shoulders, like I have been for several days. They seemed extra tender today, and it wasn't until the burning started that I realized I had put icy hot directly on a very angry sunburn. FML

I agree, your life sucks

876

You deserved it

450

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United States

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend when she starts laughing and says "Wow, this is just too funny". FML

I agree, your life sucks

32728

You deserved it

6238

Tweet

Share

By WaterNeeded

Shortage

Today, I came back from a holiday with in-laws who don't speak English. After taking a dump and not being able to flush, I realised they had turned off the water prior to the holiday. I had to show them my poop to explain they had no running water. FML

I agree, your life sucks

3814

You deserved it

407

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous

Kids, it doesn't get any better

Today, I was sitting in class when I overheard a group talking about how much they don't like me. When they saw me there, they burst out laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1737

You deserved it

97

Tweet

Share

By bridget1989 - United Kingdom - Swadlincote

Today, my boyfriend told me on the phone that he thought we were too poor for value-pack bacon. When I got home, I found he had gone to work leaving two lights and the TV on, and that the shower was running. He said, "Turning things on and off takes too much time! Who cares about money?" FML

I agree, your life sucks

21779

You deserved it

2038

Tweet

Share

By Kingofbosses - United States

Today, I moved into my university dorm a week before classes start. Everyone kept giving me weird looks as they watched me move my stuff in. Finally, one of my dorm mates asked me if I knew that school had actually started last week. I didn't. FML

I agree, your life sucks

50385

You deserved it

16500

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous

Baby, You Can Drive My Car

Today, I had a bad and very unenthusiastic one night stand and tried to quietly order an Uber while she was getting dressed. Turns out, she's an Uber driver and being as she was in the area, the alert came over her phone. She was furious. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1698

You deserved it

838

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United States

Today, I was responsible for taking care of Hoppers, the rabbit belonging to my sons 3rd grade class. Tomorrow my son returns Hoppers so the next student can care for him. That won't be happening because Hoppers hopped out my 5th story window. FML

I agree, your life sucks

67612

You deserved it

15769

Tweet

Share

By DarrenP - United Kingdom - Birmingham

Today, I got a burn on my foot from a Pot Noodle I didn't even want. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1160

You deserved it

139

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous

Today, my music students began a lively debate about whether or not a music stand would make a good weapon for the zombie apocalypse. What am I teaching them? FML

I agree, your life sucks

6254

You deserved it

821

Tweet

Share

By ForeverAlone

Today, I asked my crush if she wanted to see a movie with me. She said no because she already saw it. The movie is coming out next week. FML

I agree, your life sucks

4750

You deserved it

351

Tweet

Share

By Jasmine - United States - Sacramento

Today, while talking to my boyfriend, I noticed he looked uncomfortable. When I asked what was wrong, he asked when the last time I shaved was. I answered, "I shaved my legs this morning." He shook his head and said, "No, I meant your face." FML

I agree, your life sucks

38815

You deserved it

6092

Tweet

Share

By Maddie110110 - United States

Today, I sent my boyfriend a long and heartfelt message. He responded with "tl; dr". FML

I agree, your life sucks

31115

You deserved it

6664

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United States

Today, I woke up to my boyfriend throwing my birth control box at me and shouting that I was a slut for cheating on him since we never had sex. I attempted to explain the birth control was for a condition I have that causes my period to be non-existent. He didn't believe me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

72082

You deserved it

7310

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United States

Today, while I was in the break room at work, one of my coworkers walked in on me playing with my animal crackers, complete with animal noises. Now, the entire department won't stop teasing me and calling me Tarzan. FML

I agree, your life sucks

14665

You deserved it

36690

Tweet

Share

By krissysays - United States

Today, I heard on the news that the average debt one is in when they graduate college is $24,000. I've been in college for one year and my debt is already $20,000. And it turns out that my school's accreditation does not exist like I was told. $20,000 in debt and no college credits to show for it. FML

I agree, your life sucks

29061

You deserved it

7725

Tweet

Share

By rolyat - United States - Rochester

Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend for the first time. When I took my underwear off, she looked at my penis, snorted, and covered her mouth. She claimed that her "allergies" were flaring and we have to wait until they clear up. FML

I agree, your life sucks

36318

You deserved it

3960

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - Puerto Rico - San Juan

Today, and the 4 months preceding it, my neighbors had been remodeling their house, which meant jackhammer noises every morning. The one day they take a break, my other neighbor decides to start a remodeling project. It'll only be two more months of this. FML

I agree, your life sucks

17251

You deserved it

1164

Tweet

Share

By :) - United States

Today, my parents yelled at me for 10 minutes without letting me get a word in edgeways for getting a 48 on my test. They took my phone, unplugged my internet, and took my car keys. They wouldn't listen no matter how many times I told them, "It was out of 50". It actually was. FML

I agree, your life sucks

72528

You deserved it

4042

Tweet

Share

By person - Jordan

Today, I was applying some Icy Hot to my sore thighs, when I accidentally got a little on my dime sacks. For the next hour, it felt like someone had lit a match under my plums. FML

I agree, your life sucks

13859

You deserved it

28258

Tweet

Share

By ohemmgeee - Australia

Today, I found out that my boyfriend purposely makes me cry because it makes him feel special. FML

I agree, your life sucks

39006

You deserved it

5225

Tweet

Share

By badatlove - United States

Today, I climbed to the top of the tallest building in my city with this guy I really like. He spotted the girl he had a crush on, and wouldn't shut up about her for the rest of the night. FML

I agree, your life sucks

10875

You deserved it

983

Tweet

Share

By Kolkata - Canada

Today, my son surprised me on my birthday with tickets to a concert I really wanted to see. I was excited, especially since I planned to buy them but couldn't due to the fact it was too expensive. I was ecstatic, until I found out he'd stolen my credit card to buy them. FML

I agree, your life sucks

29514

You deserved it

2310

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United States

Today, I went to use the porta potty at the construction site I work at and found two homeless people having sex in it. I almost got fired, because my advisor blamed me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

39288

You deserved it

4088

Tweet

Share

By ohshootgirl - United States

Today, I was coming out of my work and a group of guys yelled, "Oh shoot girl!" and I blew them a kiss jokingly, then as I walked down the street, cars were honking at me, guys whistling. When I got home I noticed the foot long rip down my pencil skirt. FML

I agree, your life sucks

11956

You deserved it

28028

Tweet

Share

By fmyactuallife - 3/5/2020 08:00

Sludge factory

Today, I'm on my second day of a week of antibiotics to treat a bad urine infection. Incidentally, the pills seem to be giving me extremely loud, frequent, gut-wrenchingly painful and smelly diarrhea. Only 5 more days to go. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1514

You deserved it

106

Tweet

Share

By anonymous - United States - San Francisco

Today, my step mom sat me down and told me that she doesn't think that my dad is my biological father because she hasn't gotten pregnant from him. I don't think she quite understands the concept of being a step mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks

25089

You deserved it

2235

Tweet

Share

Add a comment

You must be logged in to be able to post comments!

Create my account Sign in

Top comments

By davidfong | 14

#7799121 - Thursday 2 May 2019 3:06

Your family needs to stop going on vacation, you should a bubble that you 2 can live in. You can be the bubble couple.

By BEEEEES | 15

#7799442 - Thursday 2 May 2019 22:38

Swiss fucking cheese that had to hurt, hope you guys have some good luck soon.

COMMENTS

By davidfong | 14

#7799121 - Thursday 2 May 2019 3:06

Your family needs to stop going on vacation, you should a bubble that you 2 can live in. You can be the bubble couple.

By RichardPencil | 30

#7799130 - Thursday 2 May 2019 4:22

You people need jobs!

Vacationing is just not safe for you klutzes.

By Matthew Irmen | 11

#7799314 - Thursday 2 May 2019 15:17

I’d recommend a nice stay at home vacation with lots of couch time

By DieYuppieScum | 4

#7799358 - Thursday 2 May 2019 17:05

From the bends to the breaks.

By BEEEEES | 15

#7799442 - Thursday 2 May 2019 22:38

Swiss fucking cheese that had to hurt, hope you guys have some good luck soon.

By 0neiros | 13

#7801500 - Friday 10 May 2019 0:10

Look, if your idea of fun is to tie your feet to two skinny boards and go sliding down a mountain, what the hell do you expect to happen?