Intimacy: Today, I tried to initiate sex with my boyfriend. As I put on...

By LizP40 - 27/08/2009 16:46 - United States

Today, I tried to initiate sex with my boyfriend. As I put on my most seductive moves, he ever so nicely says, "Babe, we just had sex last night. Why don't we wait a while so you've had some time to tighten back up." FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 971

You deserved it 9 400

Labour Day: Rest or Disaster?
Find out how a day off can turn into a series of hilarious, unexpected events. More…

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Same thing different taste

By sierra.sl31 - 28/07/2019 22:00

Today, my boyfriend of over a year decided he wants us to wait to get married before having sex again, after we've had sex almost every night of being together. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 925

You deserved it 253

By Anonymous - 10/08/2018 18:30

Today, I finally had sex with my live-in boyfriend after a long dry spell. It was passionate and great, until I hurt my back changing positions. Now he refuses to touch me, going as far as sleeping on the couch to give me "enough space". Hello new dry spell. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 250

You deserved it 386

Instructions

By Anonymous - 31/03/2009 05:40 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. After what seemed like an eternity of waiting, he finally entered me, then paused and asked me, "What do I do now?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 143 543

You deserved it 16 438

Not feeling it

By thisisstupid_17 - 16/11/2016 14:47

Today, I met up with my boyfriend early before work to have some "fun time". We hadn't had sex in a while and decided to try it doggy style, up against the wall. We had been doing it for about 15 minutes until he abruptly stopped and said, "I don't know if it's in." It was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 771

You deserved it 1 350

By Anonymous - 08/10/2010 12:01 - United States

Today, after me and my boyfriend had pretty much amazing sex, he took off the condom and started swinging it back and forth, all while making the sounds of a clock and saying, "You are getting sleepy." FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 460

You deserved it 6 758

Waste

By Annie - 31/08/2011 03:17 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. Two minutes in, he goes, "Wow, this is strenuous" and stopped. I waited three years for this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 787

You deserved it 5 282

By Anonymous - 14/01/2015 13:58 - United States - Colorado Springs

Today, I was trying on a shirt and asked my boyfriend if he liked it. He replied, "If I say no, can we still have sex tonight?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 347

You deserved it 6 669

By Patricia - 01/10/2011 23:30 - United States

Today, I tried to have sex with my boyfriend three times, but every time he insisted that he wasn't in the mood. I left to get food and when I came home, he was masturbating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 538

You deserved it 5 710

No. Just… No.

By none - 22/08/2013 04:27 - United States - San Antonio

Today, I had sex. The guy texted me an hour later, saying, "That was awkward. Let's not do that again." FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 369

You deserved it 8 817

Hard to believe

By Anonymous - 02/01/2020 18:00

Today, I tried to have sex with my boyfriend three times, but every time he insisted that he wasn't in the mood. I left to get food and when I came home he was masturbating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 359

You deserved it 569

Intoxicunt 5

Thursday 27 August 2009 20:22

Tell him this: "Babe, why don't we wait a few years and give your **** time to grow, mkay?"

Lackadaisy_Baby 0

Thursday 27 August 2009 20:23

Assuming he was being serious about the "tighten back up" bit, your boyfriend's a ******* tard. The only thing that could really "loosen" the ****** is childbirth, and even then, that's only temporary most of the time. And I seriously doubt his dick's the circumference of a baby's head.

Comments

cestlavie09 0

Thursday 27 August 2009 21:59

Your boyfriend is disgusting. Also, turnedoffTVgrey, you have very strange ideas about what's acceptable for a person to say to someone they're dating. DTMFA.

Go_for_it 0

Thursday 27 August 2009 22:00

I've been too tired to have sex before, but it typically doesn't take that much effort to get a girl off with just your hand or something. He shouldn't have flat out shut her down like that.

TysonFawlay 0

Thursday 27 August 2009 22:02

Tell him "Dont flatter yourself".

jugglernaut 0

Friday 28 August 2009 4:40

plexico ftw?

plexico 3

Friday 28 August 2009 17:50

Thanks, juggernaut, for pointing out that my comment had been "borrowed." Seeing that I make Zero dollars and zero cents for my writing at FML, it's not really a big deal if people copy me. Sometimes it's not really a copy, but a "great minds think alike" moment. Anyways, I have no earning potential from this site, so intellectual property issues are moot. It's actually kind of flattering to be copied.

Pointy130 0

Thursday 27 August 2009 22:05

Oh my god. I actually laughed for like 3 whole minutes after reading this. But really, that sucks for you.

liorasaurx3 0

Thursday 27 August 2009 22:07

They're called Kegel exercises, look it up

Luky_fml 0

Thursday 27 August 2009 22:11

he's a fool for denying sex

lives_ppl 0

Thursday 27 August 2009 22:17

lol plexico ftw

tony8pie 0

Thursday 27 August 2009 22:21

So tactful and sensitive, as most guys are...

Shmoopie4 0

Thursday 27 August 2009 22:25

He's either a moron or a homosexual. Nothing wrong with being a homosexual, but either way you should drop his ass.

kukopia 0

Thursday 27 August 2009 22:29

Your relationship is really F*d up if vaginal intercourse is the only intimacy you have. There are soooo many really good options. You should get a computer...