Love: Today, I tried to impress my girlfriend by vaulting over the...

By Anonymous - 23/03/2012 23:51 - United States - Meredith

Today, I tried to impress my girlfriend by vaulting over the side of a stairway rail parkour-style. Now I feel like I almost broke my legs, and judging by her hysterical laughter, she considers me more of a fool than a stud. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 846

You deserved it 32 924

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Same thing different taste

By BadassNinja - 05/09/2009 16:22 - United States

Today, I tried to impress my girlfriend by punching through a piece of old drywall karate kid-style. As it turns out, the drywall was actually a thin piece of concrete. I now have a busted hand and a girlfriend with a new story to tell all her friends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 798

You deserved it 51 094

Show off

By badluck_jean - 17/01/2015 13:54 - France

Today, at a ski resort, I tried to impress an attractive girl on the slopes and failed, horribly. I ended up with a mild concussion and some serious cuts after tripping, tumbling and hitting my head against the ground. I don't think she was impressed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 753

You deserved it 11 114

By HeadStillHurts - 26/10/2016 11:43

Today, I tried to impress a group of friends by jumping a set of stairs on my skateboard. I didn't realize the ceiling dropped down towards the bottom of the stairs and knocked myself out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 676

You deserved it 8 807

By Anonymous - 04/03/2010 00:36 - Canada

Today, my girlfriend thought it would be amusing to sneak into my room and jump me in my bed. Too bad that when she jumped, one of her knees landed on my crotch. I haven't been able to walk properly since this morning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 674

You deserved it 3 093

Impressive

By Anonymous - 09/03/2023 22:00

Today, I tried to show off my basketball skills to a cute girl at the park. I went up for a dunk and ended up getting stuck in the net, hanging upside down while everyone laughed at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 271

You deserved it 971

Romantic fool

By Idiot - 22/08/2009 18:44 - United States

Today, while watching a movie with my girlfriend, I had to go to the bathroom. As I returned, I thought it would be cute to jump over the side of the couch and land next to her. I accidentally landed on her arm and broke her wrist. It wasn't as cute as I expected. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 826

You deserved it 38 820

By Josie - 05/06/2012 04:27 - United States - Florence

Today, I was walking home with my boyfriend. There's a short cut to my house by jumping a fence but he insisted that we take the long way because, "Girls don't jump fences." To prove him wrong, I jumped the fence. I fell and broke my leg. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 228

You deserved it 36 021

By fail - 14/04/2011 22:27 - Canada

Today, to impress my friends, I attempted to do a back flip. The only one impressed was the doctor who set my broken leg. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 976

You deserved it 38 426

By monsterdanceman - 23/10/2013 23:16 - United States - Ozark

Today, I tried to tackle my fear of heights by riding a rollercoaster. Once we were near the top, it malfunctioned, causing it to stop, and we all had to get out and climb back down. My girlfriend laughed at me for how scared I was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 143

You deserved it 4 889

By no more flips - 17/05/2015 14:05 - United States - Columbus

Today, I decided to impress my friends by doing a flip on the trampoline. What did impress them, was my lack of tears after I hit the edge of the trampoline and broke my nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 774

You deserved it 7 037

xxmollyxx 25

Saturday 24 March 2012 1:54

Yes, if you had succeeded, you would've been quite the stud indeed.

kalgon 0

Saturday 24 March 2012 1:55

Making a woman laugh is the key to her kingdom.

Comments

BrownSugar10940 2

Saturday 24 March 2012 3:05

The things men do for women...sometimes it is worth but other times ....just complete idiocy

cuddlebunny3548 11

Saturday 24 March 2012 3:11

Even if you would have made it, she wouldn't have been impressed. Girls think stuff like that is immature, I'm sorry.

iraqvet0405 1

Saturday 24 March 2012 3:12

Dumbass

starman02 12

Saturday 24 March 2012 3:13

Ya know.. Chicks love when a guy can make em laugh.. It's a win for you buddy

tdog567 0

Saturday 24 March 2012 3:14

Act like you were trying to make her, alot of chicks like it when you aren't afraid to make an ass out of yourself to make them laugh

kerr888 0

Saturday 24 March 2012 3:14

Cute... Very cute

alltimelow_heart 2

Saturday 24 March 2012 3:29

HARDCORE.

writergirl23 19

Saturday 24 March 2012 3:30

Well at least you didn't get dumped for embarrassing her

zandalee 19

Saturday 24 March 2012 3:33

Why is everyone beating up on this guy? How cute that he is trying to impress his lady!! To be honest, that would win me over! Bless!

ashoka_fml 0

Saturday 24 March 2012 3:58

Why just impress her with some flowers or better yet just talk,showing off isn't alway going to impress a female

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The Top

Today, I handed in my resignation letter after over three and a half years working at the company. My manager is angry with me, since we returned from an overseas business trip yesterday, and why didn't I inform her before the trip. She now wants me to pay all costs of trip before leaving the job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 016

You deserved it 1 217

Today, I volunteered to babysit my niece. How hard can it be to entertain a toddler for a few hours? Turns out, very hard. Within minutes, she'd turned the living room into a war zone, with crayon graffiti and a trail of sticky handprints leading to who knows where. By the time her parents got back, I was ready to sign up for a lifetime supply of earplugs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 174

You deserved it 367

The Top

Today, I confirmed that my neighbors burn their garbage in their backyard. How? My dog just threw up a nice smelly consistency of spaghetti, plastic and cigarette butts on my carpet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 823

You deserved it 3 816

Today, I had a rare phone call from my ex-girlfriend. We ended up talking for hours about old times. It was the best conversation we have had in forever, it made me miss her and miss us. Later on in the day, she called back asking what we talked about. She was too high too remember. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 913

You deserved it 4 014

Today, I asked my girlfriend to prom. Instead of saying yes, she broke up with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 904

You deserved it 337

Today, a cute girl asked if my dog was available for a date on Valentine's Day. Thinking I was in luck, I asked if I should come along. She said no. My dog has better game than I do. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 366

You deserved it 6 743

Today, my wife is experiencing feral pregnancy cravings. She is craving some sort of cookie that she used to eat as a child. That particular cookie company went out of business 20 years ago, so my wife is growling at me like I was personally responsible for them shutting down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 490

You deserved it 111

Today, I was messing around in computer class when somebody called my name from the hall. Trying to be smooth, I tried rolling my chair backwards out into the hall. The wheels wasted no time jamming and sending me crashing face-first into the floor in front of everyone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 212

You deserved it 27 003

Same thing different taste

Show off

Impressive

Romantic fool

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