Today, I tried to convince my boyfriend to come over, telling him it would be "worth his time." He asked, "How?" I said, "Dazzling conversation of course. Just kidding, you'll probably get laid." He replied, "Oh. Well I would if it was for the conversation." FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I was texting my boyfriend and things were getting a little steamy. He said, "I really want you right now." So, of course, I told him to come over. To which he replied, "Nah." FML
Today, my boyfriend called me pretty. Not because he actually thinks I'm pretty, but because "Hey, how else is a guy supposed to get laid?" FML
Today, the only way I could get my boyfriend to come over for a serious discussion was to heavily imply I wanted to talk about having a threesome. In actual fact, I just wanted to break up with him face-to-face, because he barely acknowledges my existence unless he's horny. FML
Today, I was sexing it up with my boyfriend. Halfway through, he looked at me and said, "Y'know what you never see in a porno? Intellectual conversation. Read any good books lately?" He wouldn't keep going until I answered. FML
Today, I had to explain to my boyfriend about the importance of foreplay, and that attempting to get me "in the mood" by whipping his cock out and air humping was roughly equivalent to throwing a dry teabag at me and claiming he made a cup of tea. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me why he stood me up last night instead of coming over to visit. Apparently me telling him I couldn't wait for him to do naughty things to me turned him off, and made him feel like a piece of meat. FML
Today, my boyfriend came over to cheer me up after I'd had a sleepless night. He thought it would be a good time to propose. Unfortunately, it coincided with me yawning. FML
Today, my ex-boyfriend came over. After I'd finished pouring my heart out to him about how much I missed him, and how much I loved him, he looked at me and asked, "So are we gonna do it, or what?" FML
Today, I tried to seduce my long term boyfriend into doing the deed for about an hour. He didn't even put his phone down. FML
Today, my boyfriend of almost a year invited me over to dinner at his house. Before leaving, I called him to let him know I was on my way. Just as he begins to tell me he'll call me back, I hear another girl in the background say, "Why don't you just tell her you're busy?" FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
caticaticati 3
And then I bet he laughed and came over anyways and you don't have a sense of humor. Also, why are you so upset that your boyfriend would rather have a conversation with you than get laid, if he was serious? Many girls would love to have that.
Fluffy_homan 0
today my girlfriend got angry because I respect her and would rather have a conversation than f*ck her. FML
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (60)
k43L1 0
sarcasm? and even so wouldn't you want to be able to have a good convo?
colleGeguRl12 0
how do u find ur post on here
Ninjaface 0
That was your call to start haggling. Just remember to start low (or in this case high), otherwise you could be going for "talking dirty" and end up with "sexting from separate rooms." @perdix I can't imagine having a "dazzling" conversation with Ann Coulter about anything. More than likely my head would explode and she'd have to pull out her Jesus *****.
ladiesman14 0
ydi for having body odor issues and a balding head and hair like chewbacca.
danii_s2 0
he shud get boyfriend of the year award. obviously loves u for who u are
happyhak 5
YDI
TheMischiefMaker 0
Maybe he meant he wouldve come over anyway, even if it was just for conversation as in..."**** you dont gotta try to throw pussy at me to get me to come to your place."
emelvin 0
oh my god. totally not an FML , so what hed rahter had a meanigful conversation with you than get laid ? thats not a bad thing . most girls would kill for that kind of relationship
catherinee 0
Pff, this isn't a 'FML' you should be thankful for having a boyfriend who actually wants conversation, selfish ****.
2Bpencil 0
not all guys think only about getting laid.