Today, I tried to convince my boyfriend to come over, telling him it would be "worth his time." He asked, "How?" I said, "Dazzling conversation of course. Just kidding, you'll probably get laid." He replied, "Oh. Well I would if it was for the conversation." FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I was texting my boyfriend and things were getting a little steamy. He said, "I really want you right now." So, of course, I told him to come over. To which he replied, "Nah." FML
Today, my boyfriend called me pretty. Not because he actually thinks I'm pretty, but because "Hey, how else is a guy supposed to get laid?" FML
Today, the only way I could get my boyfriend to come over for a serious discussion was to heavily imply I wanted to talk about having a threesome. In actual fact, I just wanted to break up with him face-to-face, because he barely acknowledges my existence unless he's horny. FML
Today, I was sexing it up with my boyfriend. Halfway through, he looked at me and said, "Y'know what you never see in a porno? Intellectual conversation. Read any good books lately?" He wouldn't keep going until I answered. FML
Today, I had to explain to my boyfriend about the importance of foreplay, and that attempting to get me "in the mood" by whipping his cock out and air humping was roughly equivalent to throwing a dry teabag at me and claiming he made a cup of tea. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me why he stood me up last night instead of coming over to visit. Apparently me telling him I couldn't wait for him to do naughty things to me turned him off, and made him feel like a piece of meat. FML
Today, my boyfriend came over to cheer me up after I'd had a sleepless night. He thought it would be a good time to propose. Unfortunately, it coincided with me yawning. FML
Today, my ex-boyfriend came over. After I'd finished pouring my heart out to him about how much I missed him, and how much I loved him, he looked at me and asked, "So are we gonna do it, or what?" FML
Today, I tried to seduce my long term boyfriend into doing the deed for about an hour. He didn't even put his phone down. FML
Today, my boyfriend of almost a year invited me over to dinner at his house. Before leaving, I called him to let him know I was on my way. Just as he begins to tell me he'll call me back, I hear another girl in the background say, "Why don't you just tell her you're busy?" FML
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Top comments
caticaticati 3
And then I bet he laughed and came over anyways and you don't have a sense of humor. Also, why are you so upset that your boyfriend would rather have a conversation with you than get laid, if he was serious? Many girls would love to have that.
Fluffy_homan 0
today my girlfriend got angry because I respect her and would rather have a conversation than f*ck her. FML
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Comments (60)
inlovewithPosey2 0
maybe he was kidding?
videochick977 0
its a joke hun ... dont get it ?
FarscapeSDC 9
wait just a minute, let me get this straight. For years, I have been hearing derogatory comments about how "All men want is sex", and how "They never want to just talk" and now that a guy is actually interested in talking and not just sex, it's a bad thing? Women, please, make up your mind. Don't complain when men ask for sex but get irrationally upset and post FML's when you ask them and they turn you down.
shannon2348 14
Um are you sure he's your boyfriend? Cause he doesn't sound too excited to sleep with you and that's not normal.
shannon2348 14
I'm completely baffled as to what your gripe is here.