Today, I tried to convince my boyfriend to come over, telling him it would be "worth his time." He asked, "How?" I said, "Dazzling conversation of course. Just kidding, you'll probably get laid." He replied, "Oh. Well I would if it was for the conversation." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was texting my boyfriend and things were getting a little steamy. He said, "I really want you right now." So, of course, I told him to come over. To which he replied, "Nah." FML
Today, my boyfriend called me pretty. Not because he actually thinks I'm pretty, but because "Hey, how else is a guy supposed to get laid?" FML
Today, the only way I could get my boyfriend to come over for a serious discussion was to heavily imply I wanted to talk about having a threesome. In actual fact, I just wanted to break up with him face-to-face, because he barely acknowledges my existence unless he's horny. FML
Today, I was sexing it up with my boyfriend. Halfway through, he looked at me and said, "Y'know what you never see in a porno? Intellectual conversation. Read any good books lately?" He wouldn't keep going until I answered. FML
Today, I had to explain to my boyfriend about the importance of foreplay, and that attempting to get me "in the mood" by whipping his cock out and air humping was roughly equivalent to throwing a dry teabag at me and claiming he made a cup of tea. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me why he stood me up last night instead of coming over to visit. Apparently me telling him I couldn't wait for him to do naughty things to me turned him off, and made him feel like a piece of meat. FML
Today, my boyfriend came over to cheer me up after I'd had a sleepless night. He thought it would be a good time to propose. Unfortunately, it coincided with me yawning. FML
Today, my ex-boyfriend came over. After I'd finished pouring my heart out to him about how much I missed him, and how much I loved him, he looked at me and asked, "So are we gonna do it, or what?" FML
Today, I tried to seduce my long term boyfriend into doing the deed for about an hour. He didn't even put his phone down. FML
Today, my boyfriend of almost a year invited me over to dinner at his house. Before leaving, I called him to let him know I was on my way. Just as he begins to tell me he'll call me back, I hear another girl in the background say, "Why don't you just tell her you're busy?" FML
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Top comments
caticaticati 3
And then I bet he laughed and came over anyways and you don't have a sense of humor. Also, why are you so upset that your boyfriend would rather have a conversation with you than get laid, if he was serious? Many girls would love to have that.
Fluffy_homan 0
today my girlfriend got angry because I respect her and would rather have a conversation than f*ck her. FML
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Comments (60)
guckylynn 19
YDI for making all women look bad
perdix 31
Yuck. You are such a lousy lay that your boyfriend would prefer talking to you over sex (a good relationship would have some of both)? Who are you, Ann Coulter?
pyroanarchist23 0
why would anyone prefer ann coulter for anything? unless shes preferred for someone to murder
The_Appendix_ 13
the one guy who said it might be the girls bad sexual habits get down voted, but if genders were reversed everyone would call op a loser whose only goal in life should be to please his girlfriend.
CallMeHush 1
Are you sure he is actually into girls or will we be reading a FML in a month or two about your boyfriend being gay?
blackaut 0
I'm pretty sure that any girl would rather have a guy hold a convo with them than have sex with them.. unless they are *****. he probably thinks you're gross and shallow now... way to go. YDI for whoring yourself with a lame attempt at humor
Tunee 0
the FML here (unless he was joking) is that the boyfriend didnt find sex with her "worth his time", and the way he said it sounds like he was just making an excuse to not coming over at all... If he WAS serious then he propably wouldnt have had time if she had asked him to come over to talk either...
Mortanious 0
YDI hahahahahahaha How was that so bad?
No_fyl_cuz_ydi 0
if you have to convince your bf to hang with you and have to brine with sex there is something wrong
areveillon_fml 3
lol
bbq34567 3
ydi for describing conversation as "dazzling"
gpstyne 0
sounds like he was dropping sarcasm, who moderated this piece of shit in here?