Today, I took a swig of lemonade from my cup, only to feel something hard in my mouth. Thinking it was a roach or something, I freaked out and spat out the drink. I doused my laptop and soaked myself in the process, only to find out it was a small ice-cube. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was drinking lemon juice through a straw. After finishing half of the drink, I noticed there was a cockroach in my straw. FML
Today, I had a sip of my coffee and felt a lump of some kind enter my mouth. I thought it was a bit of biscuit, and then remembered I didn't have biscuits this morning with my coffee. I took it out of my mouth and it was a huge black fly. I then spat the rest of my coffee all over my laptop. FML
Today, I learned the hard way that an ice cube is capable of ripping the skin off your bottom lip. FML
Today, I got up in the middle of the night to get a glass of water. I felt something get caught in my throat so I coughed and spluttered a bit. When I turned on the lights I discovered I'd coughed up a cockroach. FML
Today, I was drinking from a cup with a built-in straw. After taking a long sip, I noticed a weird taste. Upon investigation, I found a small caterpillar wedged inside the straw. FML
Today, I found a roach in my takeaway. I found it after I felt something hard in my mouth and spat pieces of it back out onto my plate. FML
Today, I was craving a cold Coke, so I grabbed one from the freezer where I had put it to chill quickly. As soon as I opened it, the can exploded all over me and the kitchen. I spent the next hour cleaning sticky residue off the floor, surrounding furniture, and even the ceiling. FML
Today, I just drank a sip of beer and felt something so I spit it out... It was an earwig. FML
Today, I was about to take a drink from my cup when I saw a bug making its way along the lid. When I saw it going down into the drink, I quickly ripped off the lid to stop it. I wasn't fast enough, and watched it drown. Thanks for that. FML
Today, I was dumping some old milk in the sink and noticed it wasn't going down. Assuming food was clogging the drain, I stuck my hand down in it to remove the food. I removed a blueberry and half a cockroach. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Sillydeadperson 17
Jesus, I hope the computer's alright (or not expensive). Why would you think it was a roach if you didn't feel any legs or squirming?
DocBastard 40
I completely understand your reaction. Most men don't like hard things near their mouths. Wait, what?
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (85)
miz_kamakazi 11
Don't you look into your beverage before taking a drink?
R00ST3R 12
How dirty is your house if your first thought was a roach was in your lemonade?
Cleo88 6
I think they have read too many FMLs
misspulkadot24 17
You sound like a ditzy 14 year old with Justin Bieber and One Direction posters littering your walls. I can seriously imagine you high-pitched screaming and doing spaz hands. And I do know OP is a male.
funky2525 14
Its ok op, we all have those face palm moments
Nighthunter 11
I think the username says it all!!! Ydi!
perdix 31
It originally was a large ice cube with a roach in it, but you swallowed the bug and coughed up the remaining ice. Cheers!
alphatoomega 21
Was I the only person to find it amusing when he said he felt something hard in his mouth?
hama806 19
Sounds like someone has a roach problem in their house. Why else would you think it was a roach? Get an exterminator.
Enslaved 38
Do you live in Joe's apartment? How infested is your home that you'd think a bug crawled in your cup?
tararochelle 18
A cockroach? That would probably be my last assumption, maybe you should get off of your butt and clean your house!
carpets 2
I understand OP. It is summer in Australia!