Today, I took a swig of lemonade from my cup, only to feel something hard in my mouth. Thinking it was a roach or something, I freaked out and spat out the drink. I doused my laptop and soaked myself in the process, only to find out it was a small ice-cube. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was drinking lemon juice through a straw. After finishing half of the drink, I noticed there was a cockroach in my straw. FML
Today, I had a sip of my coffee and felt a lump of some kind enter my mouth. I thought it was a bit of biscuit, and then remembered I didn't have biscuits this morning with my coffee. I took it out of my mouth and it was a huge black fly. I then spat the rest of my coffee all over my laptop. FML
Today, I learned the hard way that an ice cube is capable of ripping the skin off your bottom lip. FML
Today, I got up in the middle of the night to get a glass of water. I felt something get caught in my throat so I coughed and spluttered a bit. When I turned on the lights I discovered I'd coughed up a cockroach. FML
Today, I was drinking from a cup with a built-in straw. After taking a long sip, I noticed a weird taste. Upon investigation, I found a small caterpillar wedged inside the straw. FML
Today, I found a roach in my takeaway. I found it after I felt something hard in my mouth and spat pieces of it back out onto my plate. FML
Today, I was craving a cold Coke, so I grabbed one from the freezer where I had put it to chill quickly. As soon as I opened it, the can exploded all over me and the kitchen. I spent the next hour cleaning sticky residue off the floor, surrounding furniture, and even the ceiling. FML
Today, I just drank a sip of beer and felt something so I spit it out... It was an earwig. FML
Today, I was about to take a drink from my cup when I saw a bug making its way along the lid. When I saw it going down into the drink, I quickly ripped off the lid to stop it. I wasn't fast enough, and watched it drown. Thanks for that. FML
Today, I was dumping some old milk in the sink and noticed it wasn't going down. Assuming food was clogging the drain, I stuck my hand down in it to remove the food. I removed a blueberry and half a cockroach. FML
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Top comments
Sillydeadperson 17
Jesus, I hope the computer's alright (or not expensive). Why would you think it was a roach if you didn't feel any legs or squirming?
DocBastard 40
I completely understand your reaction. Most men don't like hard things near their mouths. Wait, what?
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Comments (85)
hahatofunny 20
Ice is cold and smooth, bugs are gross and hairy. There's a big difference.
KiddNYC1O 22
"Go home, roach, you're drunk."
KittahMonster 20
Not even a roach is worth "dousing" your laptop.
rapid_vapid 5
Could you not have spit into the cup you'd just drank from? I'd hate to be in a public place enjoying a beverage with you OP!!
deequu 20
Always spit to the sides! Hope the laptop can be fixed!
buckdharma 38
Tell the truth op. You were watching Hentai **** again, weren't you?
GothickNihilist 15
What type of hentai would cause someone to spit out their drink? Watashi kana kana?
missababgaga 19
Reading the part "Only to feel something hard in my mouth" made me think "That's what she said." Please tell me I'm not the only one
slacker_69 6
#40 your not that's exactly what I thought to
dmoran20 27
Nothing like square freezing cold roaches...
KingCeltic77 18
Atleast it wasn't a roach.
calliet145 14
I'm kind of confused as to how you "doused your computer AND soaked yourself" when spitting out a single sip. It's not like your poured the whole drink out...when taking a drink you don't put THAT much in your mouth, so I'm somewhat confused as to how all of that got wet from one sip...