Today, I took a swig of lemonade from my cup, only to feel something hard in my mouth. Thinking it was a roach or something, I freaked out and spat out the drink. I doused my laptop and soaked myself in the process, only to find out it was a small ice-cube. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was drinking lemon juice through a straw. After finishing half of the drink, I noticed there was a cockroach in my straw. FML
Today, I had a sip of my coffee and felt a lump of some kind enter my mouth. I thought it was a bit of biscuit, and then remembered I didn't have biscuits this morning with my coffee. I took it out of my mouth and it was a huge black fly. I then spat the rest of my coffee all over my laptop. FML
Today, I learned the hard way that an ice cube is capable of ripping the skin off your bottom lip. FML
Today, I got up in the middle of the night to get a glass of water. I felt something get caught in my throat so I coughed and spluttered a bit. When I turned on the lights I discovered I'd coughed up a cockroach. FML
Today, I was drinking from a cup with a built-in straw. After taking a long sip, I noticed a weird taste. Upon investigation, I found a small caterpillar wedged inside the straw. FML
Today, I found a roach in my takeaway. I found it after I felt something hard in my mouth and spat pieces of it back out onto my plate. FML
Today, I was craving a cold Coke, so I grabbed one from the freezer where I had put it to chill quickly. As soon as I opened it, the can exploded all over me and the kitchen. I spent the next hour cleaning sticky residue off the floor, surrounding furniture, and even the ceiling. FML
Today, I just drank a sip of beer and felt something so I spit it out... It was an earwig. FML
Today, I was about to take a drink from my cup when I saw a bug making its way along the lid. When I saw it going down into the drink, I quickly ripped off the lid to stop it. I wasn't fast enough, and watched it drown. Thanks for that. FML
Today, I was dumping some old milk in the sink and noticed it wasn't going down. Assuming food was clogging the drain, I stuck my hand down in it to remove the food. I removed a blueberry and half a cockroach. FML
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Top comments
Sillydeadperson 17
Jesus, I hope the computer's alright (or not expensive). Why would you think it was a roach if you didn't feel any legs or squirming?
DocBastard 40
I completely understand your reaction. Most men don't like hard things near their mouths. Wait, what?
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Comments (85)
happle 21
Don't ever kiss anyone.
n_epic_fail 14
Am I the only one who looks at what I'm about to ingest?...
ninjalovin 8
I giggled at " something hard in my mouth "
Koleckai 16
If your first thought is roach, you should clean your environment.
morella_xx 29
To everyone saying OP's house must be dirty, you must not live in the south. Roaches are an unfortunate fact of life here. I don't really see any in the winter, but I've also lived in Hawaii, which also has a lot of roaches, and year-round warm weather also means year-round roach weather. You can keep a clean house and still see the occasional roach. Of course, it's probably a lot worse if your house IS dirty. Just saying, depending on where you live, your house doesn't have to be a dump to have unwelcome six-legged visitors.
sarah17xx_fml 10
The texture of an ice cube not remotely similar to a roach at all. Why'd a roach be your first thought?
madisonrose626 5
Really? Just.... REALLY?
rockbandaddict85 22
wow! one may have to wonder how filthy the place was where you were for your mind to instantly jump to cockroach?? I hate bugs too but there is a huge difference between ice and cockroach.
rockbandaddict85 22
how stoned or inebriated were you that you forgot there was ice in your drink???
chottu 16
Wait..what? I'm assuming you poured your own drink, which meant you must have known there was ice in it! Also ick, have you had a cockroach climb into your drink before? I live in Australia too, I know its summer and there are cockroaches about but I'm use mortein on the corners/edges of the rooms and I do not have this problem. Even if you did have a cockroach here and there, if it's getting to the stage where there is a possibility of them invading your drink there is something wrong.