Intimacy: Today, I told my boyfriend I was really horny. He then gave me... - FML

By fmysexlife - 27/07/2009 05:06 - United States

Spicy

Today, I told my boyfriend I was really horny. He then gave me the link to his favorite "porn". He said I should do it for him. It was a youtube video of some girl making a sandwich. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 616

You deserved it 15 433

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Same thing different taste

Bed move

By wellokthen - 26/11/2019 18:00 - United States - Birmingham

Spicy

Today, my friend sent me a link to a porn video. The guy in it was my boyfriend, the girl in it wasn't me, but they were in my bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 133

You deserved it 275

Kinky

By sandwichsex - 08/08/2009 22:39 - United States

Spicy

Today, me and my boyfriend were fooling around on my bed when things started to get heated. I said to him, "Do what ever you want". He got up and said he'd be right back. I thought he went to get a condom. He came back with a sandwich. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 161

You deserved it 11 993

By fuckadaisical - 06/12/2013 20:23 - United Kingdom - Pontypridd

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend's idea of foreplay was to offer to make lunch, leave the room for a few minutes, then come back with no clothes on and offer me a "cockmeat sandwich". FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 424

You deserved it 8 899

By giantcuntflaps - 13/12/2014 16:03 - Australia

Spicy

Today, I was trying to turn my boyfriend on with dirty texts. When he said "I'm horny," I teasingly replied, "Whoops, did I do that?" His reply? "Huh? Naw i'm watching sum porn". FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 508

You deserved it 6 855

By thismakesmesad - 07/09/2011 16:16 - United States

Spicy

Today, I received an email from my boyfriend. It contained a link to a site that was titled "How to Give Head". It also said "Have a nice day!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 430

You deserved it 7 572

Dirty talk

By Username - 24/02/2010 15:06

Spicy

Today, as I was in the middle of giving my boyfriend head, he looked at me and said "Eat that cockmeat sandwich." He seriously thought it was a turn on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 770

You deserved it 4 763

Hangry sex

By Krissy - 06/04/2012 02:11 - United States

Spicy

Today, during sex, my boyfriend stopped and asked if he could eat a sandwich while we do it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 173

You deserved it 4 850

By thoughtitwasspecial - 18/05/2011 05:15 - United States

Spicy

Today, I found a link to a porn website on my boyfriend's computer. A bit jealous, I asked why it was there. He told me that he thought thinking of me might get boring. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 532

You deserved it 20 745

How could you?

By datingmrpicky - 22/08/2011 03:44 - United States

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend told me he wouldn't have sex with me because yesterday I ate a sandwich in his bed and got crumbs in it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 502

You deserved it 36 968

Tasty!

By Username - 31/01/2011 15:47

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend told me the thing that gets him really horny. Apple sauce. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 083

You deserved it 5 725

Next

Top comments

iLIAMMM 0

Monday 27 July 2009 12:04

I hope you made him a sandwich.

ihatewankers 0

Monday 27 July 2009 12:18

Next time he tells you he's horny, send him a link to "2 girls 1 cup", then tell him to make his own ******* sandwich.

Comments

JBoyes09 0

Thursday 1 October 2009 10:39

Classic. Thats not a FML thats just funny.

fonz_fml 0

Saturday 24 October 2009 5:18

well ud think ud see the youtube thing in the link i mean...

Fentown_fml 4

Friday 30 October 2009 2:28

Oh my, that's hilarious.

Nighta9 0

Friday 13 November 2009 4:08

i want that site!!!

HyperExecuter 0

Sunday 3 January 2010 22:38

this is ******* horseshit....

Kellmaster36 0

Saturday 16 January 2010 5:12

I did ur mom last night a favor...by making you....a sandwhich

Riyu55 0

Wednesday 10 February 2010 7:07

you have three choices to make him happy... 1.make him a sandwhich 2.******** 3.make him a sandwhich then give him a ******** while he's eating the sandwhich while watching ESPN. :)

Compass 0

Tuesday 16 February 2010 15:01

WIN

Juice67100 0

Thursday 4 March 2010 21:38

Give him a taco instead!

88sforlife 0

Saturday 20 March 2010 13:23

F Your Sex Life!!

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Keywords

Relatable Management Work Annoying Transportation Weird Cars Sex Love Kids Abuse Roommate Music Singing Miscellaneous Embarrassing Farts Health TV shows Dogs Animals Cheating AITA Sports Death Awkward Family Cute Money Doctor

The Top

Today, I was working at my job as cashier. This really attractive girl who often comes in walked in, so I mustered up the courage to ask her out by writing my number on a dollar bill. She paid and the amount her change happened to be a dollar. I go to hand her the money when she sees it and says, "Keep the change!" FML

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Today, I was spooning with my wife when I said, "It's cold tonight." Previously when I used that line, my wife would respond by saying, "I know how to warm you up" and we would make love. Tonight, she said, "I know how to warm you up" and farted on me. FML

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You deserved it 200

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You deserved it 4 461

Today, I was carrying some luggage downstairs to put in my car to head back to college. My brother told me my shoes were untied. He said he would tie them for me as I was carrying luggage. I fell down the stairs because he thought it would be funny to tie them together. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 883

You deserved it 11 166

Today, I was moving into my new house. While trying to turn on the light in the bedroom, I realized I couldn't reach the string on the fan. I got a chair, climbed up, reached over, and fell badly. While writhing in agony on the floor, I looked over to see a light switch on the wall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 314

You deserved it 33 961