Username
🌶️ Spicy
Today, I told my boyfriend I wanted to see more of his passionate side. He pushed my head down towards his lap. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Same thing different taste
MulticoloredSlug
Philadelphia, United States
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting heated. We were having a lot of fun until I decided I wanted to be on top. He instantly got soft. FML
Anonymous
Canada
Today, my boyfriend's head was on my lap. I bent down to kiss him. My stomach rolls got there first. FML
Anonymous
United States 🌶️ Spicy
Today, I told my boyfriend that I love him. He responded by asking for a blowjob. FML
gettinghotinhere
San Francisco, United States 🌶️ Spicy
Today, I climbed onto my boyfriend's lap and sexily told him "It's getting hot in here," and started unbuttoning my shirt. He said "Oh," pushed me off him, and went to turn the ceiling fan on. FML
Anonymous
Arvada, United States 🌶️ Spicy
Booming
Today, things got pretty steamy between my boyfriend and me. We started doing stuff that neither of us had tried before. Then, he straddled me with a raging erection and boomed, "IT HAS RISEN!" He didn't understand why I was suddenly no longer in the mood. FML
awkwardbf
United States 🌶️ Spicy
Romance ain't dead
Today, I was sitting on my boyfriend's lap and we were hanging out, talking, and enjoying each other's company. Then he looked into my eyes and right when I thought he was going to kiss me, he said, "I can feel your heartbeat on my dick." FML
Anonymous
United States 🌶️ Spicy
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend, when I lifted myself up a little bit. What I was not prepared for was my boyfriend leaning down to kiss my neck. We collided heads, hard. FML
alltern8ive
This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff
United States
Like in the movies
Today, my boyfriend tried to be romantic by dipping me backwards and kissing me. He dropped me on my butt, then stepped on my hand while trying to help me up. FML
Maria
York, United Kingdom
Today, my boyfriend had his arm around me. He pulled me closer, so I looked up, thinking maybe he wanted a kiss. Turns out he was picking his nose over my head. FML
KrissyBearr
United States 🌶️ Spicy
Bad timing
Today, while having sex, I told my boyfriend that I loved him. I could feel him go soft inside me. FML
Top comments
sarahjane86 0
romantic
theFMLiest1ofThe 0
#69 how dare you dishonor the FML gods that bestowed 69 upon you. furthermore, not all girls give good BJ's. It's a shame that you are too inexperienced to have had the pleasure of enjoying an amazing knob gobbling. you'll see the light some day. I'm also concerned that #70 seems to think you own a gay. I hope he's mistaken, but if the rumor is true, please let it back out into the wild. gays are not meant to be kept as pets.
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Comments (156)
Sadochan 0
Shut up and do your job.
jessisaur 0
then when you done go make him a sammich
TrippyGreenSkull 2
#62 WIN! Just remember to wash your hands first!
blinks 0
And?
Thomaswheeler549 0
lolol
zachjack 0
I like sex
iloveeeyou 0
noone cares!!
phapho88 0
stop talking. and start sucking
RainieSmiles 0
Can't really find of a way to respond so BR34K ^ W1T H1M
W4X 0
B1234K ^ W17 H1M
BDTM 0
why would you break up with him over that? I'm sure it was just a joke.
Bees_fml 0
You'd break his heart because *you* can't think of a response?? Yeah... like that's not narcissistic.
30STMluvva 0
that is such a man thing to do!! funny though XD
sourgirl101 29
What guy isn't passionate about getting head? Be careful for what you ask for.
berg54 0
Not really a FML. Yes that sucks but any guy would do that most likely joking. If he's not, dump his ass but I bet he was.
colombiancartel 0
Well,he did show you.
dmantheplaya 0
i agree with your description.