Today, I told my boss about a coworker that had been hitting on me. She looked me dead in the eye and said "I was afraid that would happen. He's a bit of a chubby chaser." FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, a coworker told me I was "fat shaming" them by discussing weight loss with other coworkers. FML
Today, I overheard my husband of 3 years talking to our boss, an attractive blonde. She was telling him that she couldn't believe he was with me. She thinks I'm fat and ugly and that he's hot. He said, "She's not that bad…" We work in the same store and she follows him around like a puppy. FML
Today, I tried hitting on the new receptionist at work. After a few flirtatious comments and subtly hinting that I thought she was bangable, she informed me that she's married to our boss. FML
Today, I told one of my coworkers that she looked really cute today. Later she sent an email to me and cc'd the entire office saying, "It really makes me feel uncomfortable when you say things like that to me. And I shouldn't have to feel that way at work." FML
Today, I confessed my feelings to the girl I like, who also happens to be my coworker. She told my boss, and they're laughing about it as I type this. FML
Today, I met a new guy at work who wouldn't stop hitting on me. We ended up on a six-hour shift together watching a pool, so we were wearing nothing but bathing suits when he began grabbing me inappropriately. When I confided in my female coworker about it, she told me that he was her husband. FML
Today, after many years of being single, I finally worked up the courage to ask my coworker out. He said no and gave me "fair warning" that he's going to report me for sexual harassment. FML
Today, I decided to come out to a co-worker. She looked at me, then laughed, and said, "You can't be gay, you're fat!" FML
Today, after telling my boss that trailing a hand up someone's leg and leering at them constantly is counted as sexual harassment, I got called an "unappreciative little whiny bitch." FML
Today, I found out that the coworker I’d been crushing on told me he was gay so I wouldn’t hit on him anymore. Turns out he did that so he could focus on wooing a female coworker of mine. They’re now dating. FML
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Top comments
TheNinjaCat 10
Say "if that's so, why isn't he after you?"
cookie_3008 4
Sit on her.
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Comments (131)
irishman1989 0
Haha. Damn. Sucks to be you
mea_iloveskiing 26
Probably because she's got hots for him, don't worry :)
every1luvsboners 11
There's nothing wrong with being a little on the husky side. That usually means that you can cook. Husky women make the best bacon, double bacon sammiches.
leadman1989 16
Wrapped in bacon and deep fried of course. Epicmealtime! :D
dhardesty23 8
damn! some people are such asses!
chels1994 11
Wow..your boss is an arrogant asshole
Feklfekl2222 32
Telling it like it is.
holybuckets 0
That is SO rude. Inconsiderate people are the worst.
heathz 9
captain obvious
holybuckets 0
Shut up.
starsfan_9 7
Fried in solid bacon, I have no idea how they do it
meganjaxn 0
Ouch!
DocBastard 40
You should march right back into your boss' office and give her a piece of your mind! Here, let me hold your double bacon cheeseburger for you.
KiddNYC1O 22
I'll hold the nuggets.
NomOnShroomz 14
And I'll hold your nuggets..
KiddNYC1O 22
76- Lol. I get it, believe me I do. Not sure why it was voted down, though.
r0ckPrinc3sS 0
24- I hate you! My 1 year just fell asleep, and when I read your comment I loled, and woke him up! Damn, that was great!!
HideouslyHuman 10
Okay,Theres nothing left to hold but the girl herself...I better hit the gym.
HideouslyHuman 10
Or better yet she better...I like this one better. (I was implying getting stronger,but it didn't sound like it under the circumstances....)