Today, I thought it would be a good idea to declare my love to the girl I have a crush on. I guess I shouldn't have gone and kissed her without warning, because now my face is covered with slap marks, and I had to explain myself at the police station for sexual harassement. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, a girl and I were flirting and it was going well. Feeling bold, I asked what she would do if I kissed her. She smiled flirtatiously and said "Why don't you try it and find out?" I went in for a kiss, and she slapped me. FML
Today, I went to the mall with my girlfriend to buy some new clothes, and I turned around to give her a quick kiss. My lips were half-way to "her" face when I saw instead the face of another lady. She slapped me. My girlfriend was standing next to me, very pissed off. FML
Today, I asked a girl out and made plans to go see a movie. About 5 minutes in, I made a move to put my arm around her and smashed her in the face. FML
Today, I went out with a girl who I really love. We arrived to her house and before she got out of the car, I attempted to kiss her as planned. Still drunk, I grabbed her head and twisted it when I kissed her. She's now wearing a neck brace. Real smooth. FML
Today, I was in school when I spotted my girlfriend in the hallway. I wanted to be all romantic and grab her like guys do in movies. I grabbed her wrist forcefully and pulled her out of the crowd. As I quickly leaned in to kiss her, I broke her nose. FML
Today, I was drunk at a party and confessed my love for my crush and told her how I felt. According to my friends, I made out with another girl not long after my confession. FML
Today, I went to kiss my girlfriend on the cheek at school. I missed, and walked away awkwardly. Later on, a teacher stopped me and told me how bad I failed. FML
Today, my crush took me to a park and told me he loved me. We sat on an old bench and were just about to kiss when I screamed. I now have a huge splinter in my arse and he can't stop laughing. FML
Today, I went to the movies with my girlfriend. As I started putting my arm around her, I hit her in the face. FML
Today, on the advice of several friends, I tried to de-escalate a stupid argument with my fiancée by kissing her. She slapped me senseless and whooped my ass up and down the house until I escaped to the car. FML
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Top comments
dannyydanny 0
are you ******* retarded ....
mk58 31
You're supposed to declare your love BEFORE trying to kiss her rather than declaring your love BY kissing her. Now she's going to think you're a creep.
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Comments (267)
baconandkittens 10
Aw, dude, that sucks. I know you were probably trying to be romantic and stuff, but here's a suggestion. Next time, look at their reaction after telling then you love them, before kissing them. I think you'll be able to tell if they're interested in you or not by the look on their face.
Momo_Moonlight 25
Insert facepalm here.
Porcei 18
I'm getting the feeling that it wasn't mutual.
Momo_Moonlight 25
Erm...yeah. Right.
Trent100 0
You are a ******* spastic. And a creep. And you have zero awareness. I'm glad she called the cops - girls have the right not to be forcefully pashed by creepy douchebags like you. They shouldn't have to put up with that BS. What are you using for a brain.
sickerthanyou 13
it's not sexual harassment if you don't get a boner. Learn the law!.
adam_tajyar 10
You deserve it for just kissing her and not knowing if she feels the same way about you, you ******* idiot
bleedingglitter 24
Oh no... That's why you don't get your relationship advice from movies. They are highly misleading.
fantasyworld 39
You don't randomly kiss someone you aren't with.
lucasjames22 8
ydi. it's called assault.