Today, I spent nearly two hours listening to our cleaning lady talking about her son's infected penis, her fear of dentists, how to catch and kill ducks, her husband's childhood and her supposedly murdered dog. She ended up crying and left without cleaning. FML
Collection
Black Friday
70% off something you didn't need, a stampede and a cart that crashes at checkout. Thanks, Black Friday.
Today, I made the mistake of telling my dentist that my dog died. She spent the next half-hour talking about her pets and how they died. I ended up crying in her dentist's chair. FML
Today, our cleaning lady's son came to our house claiming that his mother had died of a heart attack. We gave him her entire month's salary as well as some extra money. A few hours later, our cleaning lady turned up for work. Turns out she doesn't have a son. FML
Today, while at work, I had to spend an hour and a half on the phone, listening to an old lady relive her entire day in excruciating detail. We're not allowed to hang up on customers, and she was extremely quick to dismiss all my attempts to steer the call back on topic. FML
Today, my fiancé and I met his mother for lunch to discuss wedding plans. When we got there, I went to the bathroom to wash my hands. I heard a woman talking on her cell phone in the stall about her son's "disgusting, slutty girlfriend." The toilet flushed and my future mother-in-law walked out. FML
Today, I was cleaning one of my elderly patient's teeth. After finishing and reminding her to floss, I realised she had died. Supposedly she was dead for a good 20 minutes. FML
Today, I had an very long day at work. I also had to take my daughter to the dentist and ballet class. Later, my 3 year-old son was having a diarrhoea, needing care, yet I pulled myself up, cooked, fed, read, cleaned the whole house except the kids' bedroom. My brother-in-law came, looked only at that and judged me horribly. FML
Today, I walked in the bathroom to find my son cleaning his penis. It wouldn't have been so bad if he wasn't cleaning it with a toothbrush. FML
Today, I was talking on the phone about how my son's babysitter is an absolute sicko, that she smoked weed next to my baby, that she smells bad, etc. I literally said her full name and the way she looks. Then I felt a hand on my shoulder; it was her, and she'd heard absolutely everything. FML
Today, I cleaned up my dog's crap after my wife asked me. Five minutes later she yelled at me for being lazy as she slammed the door leaving for work. My dog had shat in the exact same spot, apparently to make me look stupid. FML
Today, I had to end a phone conversation with, "I gotta go, my daughter's eating toilet paper." FML
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Top comments
pizzas_awesome 18
It was really nice for you to listen. Sometimes people just need to get words off their chest.
lhazz11 23
At least you were nice enough to listen!
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Comments (65)
lhazz11 23
At least you were nice enough to listen!
captaincarlz 17
I hope you didn't pay for that.
pizzas_awesome 18
It was really nice for you to listen. Sometimes people just need to get words off their chest.
JustinJK 21
Yeah but it's not in her jkb description to vent her issues. It's to clean. That's what therapists are for.
ohSNAPyall 27
She might not have had anyone else to talk to. Good for you for being human. She should come back another time to clean.
JustinJK 21
That's why I said "that's what therapists for". Counselors are helpful and are trained to give proper feedback. whereas it probably made OP uncomfortable.
Soloman212 28
Therapist is better than OP, but OP is better than nothing. Hopefully the cleaning lady can find a way to talk to a therapist, but at least OP helped even if only a little.
VagueEel 13
they're also generally expensive especially for a mother whose occupation is as a cleaning lady...
Swandive235 27
Hire a new one???? And there are things such as earbuds for blanking out of situations like these.
JazzHandsFML 28
maids are people you know
MrConcise 35
Tell that to my Roomba.
Allusivness 21
She might have no one to talk about this to OP. She must of told you this in strength and cried when she finished due to fear of some sort. Give her support and she will clean for free :3
WCARlover 35
Whoa, cleaning lady has a lot on her plate. You were probably the first person she was able to talk to about all that and helped her a lot even if it may not have seemed that way.
CoopsShea 11
What? Who doesn't like to hear about infected penises and doctors. No just kidding that sucks for you hopefully you didn't pay and were able to find another maid.
PenguinBitch 44
Are you going to clean my freaken house?! "Oh no.....I no clean. Me son penis dirtier.."
mattyiscool123 26
Sounds a little stereotypical, don't you think?
starile 20
Is that you, Consuela??
flopstar 21
Well if you have time to listen to her complain about all of that, I think you can clean your own house.
Allusivness 21
She could of been sitting at a desk working as she ventilated to her.
JustinJK 21
Or the cleaning lady can do her job that she's paid for. My father runs a company and works from home half the time. That's the one place his housekeepers never clean because he's always in video/voice meetings and working hard to make money to pay them. If someone doesn't want to clean their house, and instead higher a little help on the side to relieve them of life's little stress, more power to them.
DoomedGemini 38
Seriously? Whether or not she has time to means nothing. If she has the money, that means someone else has a job and will get money. More jobs are always better.
shaaza 16
Well...so much for cleaning your house. But then again I should feel sorry for her.