Today, I spent hours trying to get a piece of food out of my two front teeth. I didn't have anything I could use, until I went out to dinner and got a toothpick. I finally got the food out of teeth. The toothpick broke. Now the tip of the toothpick is stuck in my teeth. FML
Collection
Black Friday
70% off something you didn't need, a stampede and a cart that crashes at checkout. Thanks, Black Friday.
Today, I cracked my tooth. I was so tired I put my pretzel stick in my tea and took a bite out of my spoon. FML
Today, I saw my dad pick his teeth with a toothpick from a new box. He ate the food he got out of his teeth and put the toothpick back. FML
Today, I went out to lunch on my break. When I got back to work, I noticed I had something in my teeth. After trying to get it out with my tongue, I finally went to my car for some floss. I ended up pulling a 4 inch pube out of my back teeth. It certainly wasn't mine. FML
Today, I tried to open the door with my mouth because my hands were full. I chipped a tooth. FML
Today, I picked out a toothpick from a pizza. This is not the first time I've had to do this. It is also not the first time that I didn't see it until less than a second before I bit down on the piece with the toothpick embedded in it. Looks like there's a toothpick assassin on the loose. FML
Today, my stepfather refused to drive me to the hospital after having a toothpick that was left on the floor lodge itself and break off in the bottom of my foot. He's the only person in the house that uses toothpicks. FML
Today, I bought a pack of toothpicks. There were 500 of them. When I got home I accidentally dropped the pack. After twenty long minutes of picking them up, I dropped them again. FML
Today, I learned the hard way not to take off your shirt with a toothpick in your mouth. FML
Today, I accidentally bit so hard on my fork that I cracked my tooth. FML
Today, I bit into a burrito and felt something hard crunch. I spit it out and found a small tooth. It was mine. I'd managed to break my tooth on a burrito. I had to go to the dentist, and the hygienist giggled a bit too much about the reason why it was getting fixed. I now have a strong suspicion of burritos which will probably never go away. FML
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Top comments
imajinethat 0
Uhm, floss. Duh.
ScatteredMind 0
seriously dude? that's an fml??
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Comments (62)
Alfredo_fml 0
Use another toothpick to get them out
bassfah 0
so? nobody cares..
Missythevampire 0
How to take care of your mouth: 1. brush your teeth daily 2. floss daily 3. rinse with mouthwash This isn't an FML.
dzidziaud 5
if you have long hair, you can use it as floss in desperate situations like these :]
DUD_fml 0
yes, **** your life because there's a toothpick stuck in your teeth.
SilverEyesAtDawn 0
LOL Heh that just totally made my day xD
magna_13 0
uhhhh Toothbrush?
Yyz 0
I have actually done this. Didn't post about it on FML.
netdude 0
dude, don't use toothpicks... I used to, they make gaps so large over time and stuff... just brush like nuts whenever you eat (i recently picked up this incessant habbit)... invest the money in 1 good item, a sweet toothbrush... and it'll be an investment that will pay back in dividends.
Tangere 0
There's a product to help those people like you who struggle with normal, everyday activities. It's called a Snuggie
MagicMeds 0
SO MUCH WIN! If only you'd come here sooner we could avoid all of these lame floss comments! Also We REALLY need a "Who cares?" button!
yay4felix 0
One word: floss.