Miscellaneous: Today, I spent hours trying to get a piece of food out of my...

By stupidtoothpick2 - 16/08/2009 05:19 - United States

Today, I spent hours trying to get a piece of food out of my two front teeth. I didn't have anything I could use, until I went out to dinner and got a toothpick. I finally got the food out of teeth. The toothpick broke. Now the tip of the toothpick is stuck in my teeth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 255

You deserved it 8 480

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Same thing different taste

By ouch - 05/10/2015 19:20 - United States - Stockton

Today, I cracked my tooth. I was so tired I put my pretzel stick in my tea and took a bite out of my spoon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 868

You deserved it 3 760

By Anonymous - 06/09/2013 11:55 - United States - Louisville

Today, I saw my dad pick his teeth with a toothpick from a new box. He ate the food he got out of his teeth and put the toothpick back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 599

You deserved it 2 891

By Ilovelife07 - 19/09/2009 04:47 - United States

Today, I went out to lunch on my break. When I got back to work, I noticed I had something in my teeth. After trying to get it out with my tongue, I finally went to my car for some floss. I ended up pulling a 4 inch pube out of my back teeth. It certainly wasn't mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 721

You deserved it 9 583

Great idea

By dumbbb - 27/12/2011 08:30 - United States

Today, I tried to open the door with my mouth because my hands were full. I chipped a tooth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 263

You deserved it 46 015

Pizza mystery

By Pick out the picks - 24/09/2022 15:30 - United States

Today, I picked out a toothpick from a pizza. This is not the first time I've had to do this. It is also not the first time that I didn't see it until less than a second before I bit down on the piece with the toothpick embedded in it. Looks like there's a toothpick assassin on the loose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 863

You deserved it 120

Best teeth in the game

By floss can't skewer people - 22/09/2021 02:00

Today, my stepfather refused to drive me to the hospital after having a toothpick that was left on the floor lodge itself and break off in the bottom of my foot. He's the only person in the house that uses toothpicks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 199

You deserved it 88

By S. - 26/08/2012 16:20 - Estonia

Today, I bought a pack of toothpicks. There were 500 of them. When I got home I accidentally dropped the pack. After twenty long minutes of picking them up, I dropped them again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 288

You deserved it 12 744

By monkeycannon7 - 24/04/2012 16:36 - United States - Woodbridge

Today, I learned the hard way not to take off your shirt with a toothpick in your mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 344

You deserved it 29 682

Hangry dude

By Anonymous - 07/08/2021 20:01

Today, I accidentally bit so hard on my fork that I cracked my tooth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 743

You deserved it 233

Added flavor

By Toothless - 07/10/2009 05:43 - United States

Today, I was eating ice cream and struggling to chew a particularly hard chunk of chocolate. After finally breaking it into pieces, I spat it out because it tasted terrible. Then I discovered that I was missing my temporary crown. Now I have no upper molar. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 188

You deserved it 6 411

imajinethat 0

Sunday 16 August 2009 16:28

Uhm, floss. Duh.

ScatteredMind 0

Sunday 16 August 2009 16:28

seriously dude? that's an fml??

Comments

keki60 0

Sunday 16 August 2009 16:52

lolololololol

need4speed0829 0

Sunday 16 August 2009 17:02

hahahahahhahah

kimberley123 6

Thursday 9 August 2012 4:33

hahahahahaahhahahahahahahahahaha.... ha

aback 4

Sunday 16 August 2009 17:12

This is going to turn into one of those "she swallowed the spider to catch the fly" things, isn't it?

prettykitty123 0

Sunday 16 August 2009 17:35

Use the other end of the toothpick?

markwu12 0

Sunday 16 August 2009 21:54

some toothpicks only have one pointy end

Jennydew 0

Sunday 16 August 2009 17:41

That's not an FML. Get another toothpick or go to the store and get some floss.

Subjectzero 0

Sunday 16 August 2009 17:55

floss? ydi

LOLOLOLOLOLOL123 2

Sunday 16 August 2009 18:11

use a hammer

nodbor 11

Monday 17 August 2009 1:02

no, no, no, use a drill.

craziiie 0

Sunday 16 August 2009 18:18

How do they deserve it for eating. Like really everyone eats. But they deserve it for not getting floss

dralven 0

Monday 17 August 2009 1:13

1. Learn how to REPLY. 2. Learn to understand sarcasm.

TheMikeyK 0

Sunday 16 August 2009 18:43

Go see the dentist. You have a dirty mouth and a dumb mind if you didn't think of flossing. Pathetic. YDI.

dummydory 4

Sunday 16 August 2009 19:11

This isn't an FML.

Keywords

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The Top

Today, I brought my daughter to work with me. When we walked in, a client was blowing up at my boss, all because as my boss was walking past his storage unit, he glanced in and was about to compliment how neat it was. After my boss left, I had to deal with the aftermath, which left my daughter terrified of this man. FML

I agree, your life sucks 332

You deserved it 86

Today, according to my husband of many years, he was actually planning to ghost me after our boring first date. It was only the fact that I shagged him senseless that night that kept him around long enough for us to actually get to know each other. Hooray for me being a "loose slut" back in 1998. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 139

You deserved it 561

The Top

Today, my mother, who works in retail, wears her mask around my dad and my siblings, but deliberately takes it off around me. I always knew she hated me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 736

You deserved it 101

Today, I spent over $20 at the laundromat doing two weeks of laundry, just to avoid using the facilities in my apartment complex and having to deal with my creepy landlord trying to steal my underwear again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 580

You deserved it 1 617

Today, out of boredom, I decided to clean shave my beard and moustache for the first time in 3 years. My new nickname at work is The Crimson Chin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 252

You deserved it 592

Today, I gave birth to my first child. The first thing my husband says? "When can I hit it again, doc?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 908

You deserved it 5 162

Today, my boyfriend left me for his sister. No, not my sister. His sister. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 826

You deserved it 220

Today, my niece offered me a slice of cake. After I refused, she asked, "Why not? Aren't fat people always hungry?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 271

You deserved it 6 506