Today, I spent hours trying to get a piece of food out of my two front teeth. I didn't have anything I could use, until I went out to dinner and got a toothpick. I finally got the food out of teeth. The toothpick broke. Now the tip of the toothpick is stuck in my teeth. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I cracked my tooth. I was so tired I put my pretzel stick in my tea and took a bite out of my spoon. FML
Today, I saw my dad pick his teeth with a toothpick from a new box. He ate the food he got out of his teeth and put the toothpick back. FML
Today, I went out to lunch on my break. When I got back to work, I noticed I had something in my teeth. After trying to get it out with my tongue, I finally went to my car for some floss. I ended up pulling a 4 inch pube out of my back teeth. It certainly wasn't mine. FML
Today, I tried to open the door with my mouth because my hands were full. I chipped a tooth. FML
Today, I picked out a toothpick from a pizza. This is not the first time I've had to do this. It is also not the first time that I didn't see it until less than a second before I bit down on the piece with the toothpick embedded in it. Looks like there's a toothpick assassin on the loose. FML
Today, my stepfather refused to drive me to the hospital after having a toothpick that was left on the floor lodge itself and break off in the bottom of my foot. He's the only person in the house that uses toothpicks. FML
Today, I bought a pack of toothpicks. There were 500 of them. When I got home I accidentally dropped the pack. After twenty long minutes of picking them up, I dropped them again. FML
Today, I learned the hard way not to take off your shirt with a toothpick in your mouth. FML
Today, I accidentally bit so hard on my fork that I cracked my tooth. FML
Today, I bit into a burrito and felt something hard crunch. I spit it out and found a small tooth. It was mine. I'd managed to break my tooth on a burrito. I had to go to the dentist, and the hygienist giggled a bit too much about the reason why it was getting fixed. I now have a strong suspicion of burritos which will probably never go away. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
imajinethat 0
Uhm, floss. Duh.
ScatteredMind 0
seriously dude? that's an fml??
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (62)
keki60 0
lolololololol
need4speed0829 0
hahahahahhahah
kimberley123 6
hahahahahaahhahahahahahahahahaha.... ha
aback 5
This is going to turn into one of those "she swallowed the spider to catch the fly" things, isn't it?
prettykitty123 0
Use the other end of the toothpick?
markwu12 0
some toothpicks only have one pointy end
Jennydew 0
That's not an FML. Get another toothpick or go to the store and get some floss.
Subjectzero 0
floss? ydi
LOLOLOLOLOLOL123 2
use a hammer
nodbor 11
no, no, no, use a drill.
craziiie 0
How do they deserve it for eating. Like really everyone eats. But they deserve it for not getting floss
dralven 0
1. Learn how to REPLY. 2. Learn to understand sarcasm.
TheMikeyK 0
Go see the dentist. You have a dirty mouth and a dumb mind if you didn't think of flossing. Pathetic. YDI.
dummydory 4
This isn't an FML.