Today, I slipped on the ice in front of my apartment, spraining my ankle and cracking a rib. While I laid on the ground immediately after, my neighbor chewed me out for saying "shit" in front of her 4-year-old on my way down. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I was home alone in my apartment. I tripped over my dresser and fell and sprained my ankle. As I was laying there in agonizing pain, my downstairs neighbor shouted at me to shut up. FML
Today, while walking to work, I sneezed so violently that I slipped on a patch of ice and hit the ground hard, badly spraining my shoulder. I lay there in agony as a pair of bystanders just stood there, laughing their asses off. FML
Today, I slipped and fell on the ice while attending a community event for work. A man came to help me up, and I farted really loudly. FML
Today, I slipped on my icy front porch, fell back, and hit my head on the step. I tried to get up, but lost my balance and fell halfway into the bush next to the steps. I then looked up to see my very hot, British, ex-Special Forces next door neighbor laughing so hard he dropped his snow shovel. FML
Today, I was walking home from work, when I slipped and fell on a patch of ice. I clambered back to my feet, made it three feet, then slipped and fell again. A guy who'd witnessed the whole thing stuck his head out of his car window and yelled "Dumbasssssss!" FML
Today, I tripped over a "Caution: Slippery When Wet" floor sign and sprained my ankle. FML
Today, I broke my toe and screamed, "Fuck!" My mom heard and yelled at me for swearing, while I laid on the floor in pain. FML
Today, after slipping on my stairs and spraining my ankle, I got a brace and crutches at urgent care. When I went to get into my car, my crutch slipped on some paper and I fell. I crawled back into urgent care, only to learn that my sprained ankle is now broken in 2 places. FML
Today, I walked across my kitchen to go get my mom a blanket after she shoveled snow. I slipped and caught the kitchen chair with my side, landed on the floor and almost fracturing my knee cap. She then told me she wasn't cold. FML
Today, I walked to the end of my driveway to pick up the newspaper. I read the front page that was talking about people who have been getting hurt from slipping on ice. Laughing about that thought and walking up my driveway, I slipped. FML
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Top comments
adelaide_evening 0
You should've killed two birds with one stone and told her to take her bitching elsewhere.
PureGold 0
WOW, some people just don't get it. There are some things you just need to let go. There are no words to adequately describe people like your neighbor. Socially retarded, snobbish, idiotic, self-absorbed assholes, maybe, but so much worse...
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Comments (93)
skybrink 0
Buy this shirt and wear it in front of them. You can thank me later. http://www.tshirthell.com/funny-shirts/how-dare-i-wear-this-goddamn-shirt/
doLce_ 1
HAHAHA, I was just posting the same link, #12.
rachelforgot2 0
hahahaha thats funny! i would have said "**** you, shut the **** up! im hurt, dumbass" =D
Young_Sparta 0
you could also claim racism if she was of a different color. take advantage man =]
justhadtosaytht 0
No, "Hey, no swearing!" "**** you."
Vis4Vin 0
damn people are such bitchy assholes these days. **** them. sheeeeesh
throwing_bricks 0
i'm sick of people who get pissed at others cursing, everyone does it, kids are saying it at 2, **** your neighbor, shit on her lawn, or i'll do it for you
LifeScrewsUsAll 0
what a bitch lol. I would make her pathway all iced up and then bitch her out for laying down on the ground
Lou_Briccant 0
I would have started yelling every curse I knew. Did you?
Aviva1313 0
You should have broke n two of her ribs and see what words came out of her mouth
i_am_not_me 0
I yelled out "****!" in a crowded convenience store/deli when I sliced my finger on the slicer. When there were numerous elderly people and children in there. Thankfully everyone understood when they saw the blood.
whitey_fml 0
so shes a bitch. not YOUR fault.