Today, I signed up for an online dating service, a couple of days after my divorce. I got my first batch of matches, and number one was a smiling picture of the woman who had just divorced my ass after 20+ years together. Her profile shows she has to have been active there for months. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I re-joined a popular on-line dating service. I'd first signed up 3 years ago and was matched with a wonderful woman. After about a year, she broke up with me. I was devastated. After two years of trying to win her back, I'd decided it's best just to move on. Guess who they matched me with? FML
Today, I decided to check out a dating site, when I stumbled across my ex wife's profile. She'd had it for four out of the five years of our marriage. And no, it didn't rate us as a good match. FML
Today, I felt ready to trust men again so I had a little foray into Tinder, just to see what’s out there for a divorcee in her 40s. The very first guy I matched with catfished me with his photo and wanted to buy my dirty undies and socks, in a ziplock bag “to preserve the aroma.” FML
Today, I joined a dating website and spent all day filling out and improving my profile. My first match is a guy who relentlessly tried to date me for all 4 years of high school. Now he just has more reasons to tell me how much we're meant to be. We're a 97% match. FML
Today, I was looking at dating profiles with my single friend, trying to find a guy for her, and we found my husband's profile. FML
Today, I removed all my online dating profiles. Apparently my ex-husband finds stalking me online preferable to spending time with his new girlfriend. FML
Today, an attractive woman was flirting with me from across a coffee shop. When I walked over and introduced myself, she served me with my divorce paperwork. FML
Today, I joined a dating website for the first time in 12 years and spent an hour carefully crafting my profile. Ten minutes after posting, my sibling texted me screenshots. I’d linked my profile to Facebook, where my bio appeared under my real name for half my extended family. Aunt Linda left a heart reaction. FML
Today, I convinced myself I needed to get over my ex-girlfriend. I spent twenty minutes signing up for a new dating site, only to find out, that the only other profile on the site of a person within 200 km, is my ex-girlfriend. FML
Today, I signed up for a dating site and used a photo of my mother and me at a wedding. Everyone stops responding when they find out they're talking to me and not her. FML
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Top comments
funsize003 0
ahhh what a bitch. I'm sorry, you deserve a better wife. what you do now: make an account under some random name, with a really hot guy as the profile picture. begin to talk to her, get her really interested. meet up with her on a blind date, when she sees you, smile yell, "gotcha, ****!" and move on. :)
diet_otaku 0
lol, you should contact the dating site and tell them they need to fix their matching system, if your #1 match ended up divorcing you. XD
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Comments (155)
darkmis1 18
That sux! But it seems like ur better off without her.
omnomnomnom 0
#10...hahaha thats good.
Rob731 0
Ouchhh man, Maybe you guys have been rocky for a while so she was already looking.....thats a low blow though...FYL
aliciajm 0
Lmao hahahha damn I'm sorry to hear that
L0veh8te 0
ROFL, FYL You should PM her and say hi, once she knows its you more than likley she will take a peek at your profile, thats where you will and write a bunch of negative crap on your profile saying how the last 20 years have been the worst of your life etc.. bunch of negative crap to piss her off. And now your looking for new excitment...
withered 30
#47 She divorced him and moved on. Doubt she'd care. If he did that he would only look immature to everyone else that would check his profile. And noone wants to date a child that has tantrums after break up. Bad advice if he wants to find anyone on that site.
rukusrazor 0
You were with her 20 years, you must have a good idea what her password would be. Get in there, and modify her account so she gets the most disturbed and crazy matches possible.
Nightfallz 0
Women /facepalm
regalarius 0
Did you just wake up one day and divorce her or did the process takes time? There's nothing wrong with dating if you're trying to terminate a marriage...
littlemisslee 0
Good luck finding a woman that's not as much of a bitch as her. Congrats on your divorce!!
RyanRaygun 0
For future reference, you shouldn't put "Ex-wives" in the "Turn ons" category.