Today, I shaved my beard in preparation for an important work conference. Now my dog won't stop growling and barking at me. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I was late for a video conference with my boss. As I frantically tried to fix my messy hair, my dog thought it was the perfect time to play fetch. I ended up joining the meeting with a squeaky toy in hand and an appearance that would make a scarecrow look put together. My boss found it hilarious, but I'm pretty sure my career aspirations are now in the doghouse. FML
Today, I shaved my beard that I wanted to grow for winter, into a goatee for a Skype interview. On the day, the interviewer only used audio. FML
Today, while I was at work, my boyfriend decided to give my Cocker Spaniel a haircut. I now have the equivalent of an over-sized naked mole rat running around my house. FML
Today, I shaved off the beard I had been forced to grow over the past 3 weeks due to forgetting my razor when away. Fifteen minutes in, with half my beard gone, I realised I had got a tan everywhere but my beard. I now have a large white patch on my face. FML
Today, I was at work when someone came in asking me to brush their pet Shih Tzu. After an hour of vigorously grooming through the multiple knots, I called the owner to collect their dog. When she got here she said, "Oh, did I say brush? I meant shave." FML
Today, I was excited to try my new skincare mask. My dog apparently thought I had turned into some kind of monster and barked hysterically for twenty minutes before lunging at my face and licking it off. So much for self-care. FML
Today, I started petting my cousin's Doberman. Now, whenever I stop he growls menacingly. FML
Today, my mom told me that I need to shave my beard because it's getting too long. This wouldn't be so bad if it weren't for the fact that I'm a woman. FML
Today, my dog barked at his own reflection in the mirror for five full minutes. When I tried to calm him down, he started barking at me like I was in on the conspiracy that seemed to be going on in his head. FML
Today, my boyfriend, who hasn't shaved in a month, went to go shave. I was pretty excited since his beard was starting to make my face itch whenever we kissed. When he came out of the bathroom he had a handlebar mustache. FML
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Top comments
fortune789 17
Shave your dog. That'll teach him.
PenguinBitch 44
Give your dog a treat and it'll accept its "new" owner.
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Comments (48)
Likian5 26
Next time you shave your beard, do it where your dog can see. I don't think it needs to be said that dogs aren't the smartest species in the world haha
hotheadslav 17
Dogs are actually highly intelligent.. They might not be smart in our ways but they pick up things extremely quick!
foxwasalamb 24
exactly. my husky is intelligent and catches onto new things fast
sparkledoge 29
Dog's are indeed intelligent, but it's just plain weird for them that humans want to get rid of their "fur". I understand it must be confusing for a dog. Especially if the guy doesn't usually do it.
schalk 12
Nope, not all. Sometimes you just get a stupid dog.
Kitty_Kat44 31
Doesnt he recognize your voice at least?
AverageJoey 18
Does your dog's nose not work? It should recognize your smell.
DontClickOnMe 28
Sometimes if you just look different, they'll think you're someone else. My dog used to bark at me when I got out of the shower with a towel on my head haha. It's kind of funny. =)
ohSNAPyall 27
Give that dog some bacon.
ProfessorMctitie 20
Jam your thumb up his butt to calm him down
SystemofaBlink41 27
Alternatively, he could jam his thumb up HIS own butt to calm himself down.
ProfessorMctitie 20
Or even better, he jams his thumbs up both their butts to make it less awkward
thes7274473 19
Let him sniff you, that should help him recognize you
chocolatefrog28 29
Get to a costume store and buy yourself a fake beard to wear at home until yours grows back. It's the only way.
buckdharma 38
Don't waste your hard earned money on a fake beard. Instead, dogscape his butt. Then swap Pork Chops' buttocks crop slop to make your chin pop with mutton chops.
all_bout_Mia 2
Wow now I wear glasses and my dog too barks at me all the time ! I guess they think there's something " attacking us or idk
exoticwaved 9
Sounds like you had that Guantanamo kind of beard.