Today, I shaved my beard in preparation for an important work conference. Now my dog won't stop growling and barking at me. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I was late for a video conference with my boss. As I frantically tried to fix my messy hair, my dog thought it was the perfect time to play fetch. I ended up joining the meeting with a squeaky toy in hand and an appearance that would make a scarecrow look put together. My boss found it hilarious, but I'm pretty sure my career aspirations are now in the doghouse. FML
Today, I shaved my beard that I wanted to grow for winter, into a goatee for a Skype interview. On the day, the interviewer only used audio. FML
Today, while I was at work, my boyfriend decided to give my Cocker Spaniel a haircut. I now have the equivalent of an over-sized naked mole rat running around my house. FML
Today, I shaved off the beard I had been forced to grow over the past 3 weeks due to forgetting my razor when away. Fifteen minutes in, with half my beard gone, I realised I had got a tan everywhere but my beard. I now have a large white patch on my face. FML
Today, I was at work when someone came in asking me to brush their pet Shih Tzu. After an hour of vigorously grooming through the multiple knots, I called the owner to collect their dog. When she got here she said, "Oh, did I say brush? I meant shave." FML
Today, I was excited to try my new skincare mask. My dog apparently thought I had turned into some kind of monster and barked hysterically for twenty minutes before lunging at my face and licking it off. So much for self-care. FML
Today, I started petting my cousin's Doberman. Now, whenever I stop he growls menacingly. FML
Today, my mom told me that I need to shave my beard because it's getting too long. This wouldn't be so bad if it weren't for the fact that I'm a woman. FML
Today, my dog barked at his own reflection in the mirror for five full minutes. When I tried to calm him down, he started barking at me like I was in on the conspiracy that seemed to be going on in his head. FML
Today, my boyfriend, who hasn't shaved in a month, went to go shave. I was pretty excited since his beard was starting to make my face itch whenever we kissed. When he came out of the bathroom he had a handlebar mustache. FML
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Top comments
fortune789 17
Shave your dog. That'll teach him.
PenguinBitch 44
Give your dog a treat and it'll accept its "new" owner.
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Comments (48)
Psiioniic 4
Maybe the dog just really liked mutton chops.
soulreaper12296 28
That's just funny lol
HighasaCloud 46
Is your dog perhaps a female? Then you got 99 problems and a bitch is one. Yeah yeah, I know. I'm letting myself out.
iwi00 8
Buy a beard beanie! :)
elek2008 9
get a fake beard and show him you taking it off and he'll sort of understand
heavennevaehlove 3
Your dog knows what you smell like ... Having no beard is not going to make him forget what you smell like and think your an intruder????
MrsHumanFrog 19
I'm kinda thinking this one is made up. Unless your dog has a serious medical condition that his nose and ears don't work, dogs go more by those senses than sight.