Today, I sent my boyfriend to the store to get groceries while I was at work. Instead of what I listed, he came back with hot pockets, ice cream and beer. I'm lactose intolerant and pregnant. FML
Collection
Black Friday
70% off something you didn't need, a stampede and a cart that crashes at checkout. Thanks, Black Friday.
Today, I gave my boyfriend a $300 cooler for Valentine's Day. When I asked what he got me, he pointed at my stomach. I'm 3 months pregnant with his baby. FML
Today, I sent my husband out for baby formula and cocoa butter to soothe my boobs from breastfeeding. He came back with powdered milk and deep heat rub. AND he still wanted praise for at least having tried to get what I asked for. I would kill him, but I need his wages while I'm on maternity. FML
Today, I told my boyfriend I was pregnant. He seemed thrilled, and went to buy some wine to celebrate. He left 11 hours ago and won't come back. FML
Today, I decided to surprise my husband by bringing home a case of beer and renting us a porno. He decided to surprise me by telling me he was leaving me for his pregnant girlfriend. FML
Today, my husband offered to do the weekly grocery shopping. Because he has never done the shopping before, I made him a list of what we needed and other optional foods to give him an idea of what to get. He came back with a week's worth of ramen noodles and 2 litres of soda. FML
Today, my fiancee asked me to text her a grocery list. I asked for meat, fruit, vegetables, you know, the staples. She came back with tons of sugar cereal, pop tarts, cookie dough, and other unhealthy crap. We have no other food, our monthly budget is gone, and junk food gives me horrible stomach cramps. FML
Today, as I searched for food to take to work for lunch, I noticed that the only recent addition to our fridge is chocolate milk and popsicles. My mom went grocery shopping yesterday. FML
Today, I told my boyfriend I was pregnant. He went outside for a "breather" and never came back. FML
Today, I was grocery shopping. When I turned around I noticed a group of teens passing by laughing. I didn't think anything of it until I got to my cart. The losers had left a pack of Slim Fast in my cart. I'm pregnant. FML
Today, my boyfriend texted me saying he had left a surprise on my driveway. Thinking it was something special, I went outside to look. It was a little bag of mayonnaise packets. FML
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Top comments
krysxkatastrophe 14
Ice cream is awesome! I'm lactose intolerant too, but I don't care when it comes to that!
knights95 9
But they have cheese in them. Fail.
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Comments (294)
marcyfrances 4
he is not the love of your life obviously, so lose him now
cumverg 0
He gets the Charlie Sheen Seal of Approval. Thus, he's winning. For all eternity.
sweetassugar2 0
you want something done right the first time...do it yourself :)
OreoKami 0
HOT POCKETS!!!!! YUMMMMM!!!;D
Mr_Narwhal13 0
i thought they banned hot pockets
afilingcabinet 0
then get your own dam groceries next time
mag4dust 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
I don't blame him. ice cream and hot pockets are amazing. and u should have known what he was going to do in the first place... he's a guy. if u wanted it done right the first time u should have done it yourself.
nanner6206 24
He should think of someone other than himself. He was selfish and inconsiderate, which is inexcusable; especially with OP carrying his child.
nanner6206 24
He should think of someone other than himself. He was selfish and inconsiderate, which is inexcusable; especially with OP carrying his child. F-HER-L
lisha88 1
wth smh tell him take it all back and get what u asked for
WhiteBoyThatCan 0
every1luvsboners idk why but I love you...
bekster88 3
NEVER send a man out for groceries.
geeksaresexy 18
I couldn't even take my ex with me never mind letting him do it on his own! He'd sneak things in the trolley like toy cars and one time a doorbell..