Today, I saw a fight so I went over to try and break it up. Someone thought I wanted to join in, so he gave me an unexpected whap in the happy sacks, and I also got a bloody nose for my troubles. FML
Collection
Black Friday
70% off something you didn't need, a stampede and a cart that crashes at checkout. Thanks, Black Friday.
Today, I was walking down the street, when I saw a guy in front of me trip and fall forwards, and I quickly jumped forward to steady him. Apparently he thought he was being mugged, and threw his head backwards into my face, leaving my nose a bloody mess. FML
Today, while at a local bar, my friends and I were approached by an overly intoxicated man who asked us each politely if we wanted to fight. Thinking it was a joke, I said yes. It wasn't a joke, I now have a broken nose and a black eye. FML
Today, my boyfriend was telling me about accidentally punching his best friend in the face. As he was acting it out he ended up punching me and giving me a bloody nose. FML
Today, I saw two kids having a fistfight in the street. I ran over to stop them, and one ended up hitting me in the eye. I now have a black eye over what turned out to have been a fight over who was going to get the last slice of pizza. FML
Today, I noticed a rather small man being harassed by a rather large man, so I tried to help out and break it up. The small guy punched me in the face and said, "Mind your business!" The large guy laughed and fist-bumped him. FML
Today, what started as a family gathering turned into an all-out brawl. I saw my son’s wife punch him, so I hit her. Her mom and sister jumped me. My husband was pulling them off when the other husband thought he was attacking them and jumped in, so my son jumped in as well. We won, at least. FML
Today, I got into a nasty fight, and ended up leaving with a black eye. The fight was with a champagne bottle cork. I was opening the bottle to celebrate the New Year, at home, alone. FML
Today, I was out clubbing, when some bloke at the bar started trying to pick fights with everyone. Trying to defuse the situation with humour, I said, "I used to be a tough guy like you. Then I took an arrow in the knee." The next thing I know, I have a broken nose. FML
Today, someone was getting beat up by 6 guys. When I tried to help, they had a swing at me as well. The cops came when I was enthusiastically defending myself. They got away, I got arrested. FML
Today, my face got intimate with several plywood boards, and I suffered lacerations and bruising. I told my friends I got the wounds from taking a few guys down in a bar fight. Now they're dragging me out into a rough part of town to give them "muscle" while they try to score some crack. FML
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Top comments
cbadbeachbabe 0
silly goose
gambol 10
breakin' up fights: yer doin' it wrong.
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Comments (203)
wellduh 0
Um... Did anyone else think that maybe the OP was trying to be humorous in his wording? Ironically enough, this FML actually made me giggle when I read it because of the cadence and the rhyming going on there. It was poetic, almost. Way to go, OP!
roronoazoro_fml 0
You deserve it for even considering saying an expression like "whap in the happy sacks". What is happy? Why do you have more than one?
Happy_Elf 0
At #165; finally, some-one else who actually thinks of all of the possibilities ^_^ At #179, of course they didn't think that. Otherwise they wouldn't be able to bitch and whine at some-one they don't know, about something they don't know about, so that they can pretend that once in their lives they are right and all mighty. xD
natty098 2
I am so happy in not the only one who thought of the other possibilities and I'm in his side!
Brey1013 0
Dumbass. if u not prepared to fight, THEN DONT GET INVOLVED IN FIGHTS. Twat
joethebiden 8
YDI for not leaving this to the police.
moonlight_daze 8
Yeah, YDI for not being a snitch.
Nightfallz 0
today I read the worst fml ever and went 'right' to work
AsAlwaysAndrew 0
Im sorry but unless the ending was, 'And then he inpregnated me.' This isnt an Fml, and even that would've still kinda been deserved. YDI for being a dumshit.
iheart 0
hes a guy...
Daddys_Defect 0
No offense, but if you're going to break up a fight theres a very good possibly that something like that would happen. It sucks for you, but it's you're own fault.
fenrir117 0
A "whap in the happy sacks". That sound like it hurts more than just getting hit in the balls.
goldenferret 0
The Lesson; Don't interfere with another man's fight.