Today, I saw a cute guy walking out of a restaurant. When he saw me, he smiled and to be a bit flirty I bit my lip. Too bad it started to bleed like hell. FML
Collection
Black Friday
70% off something you didn't need, a stampede and a cart that crashes at checkout. Thanks, Black Friday.
Today, I was trying to flirt with the guy I like using body language, so I leaned over this counter in a sensual way. I happened to have a fork, so I went to bite the tip that sexy way people do in movies. I accidentally stabbed myself in the lip, cutting it. My lunch had jalapeños in it. FML
Today, I was making out with this guy when my nose started bleeding, and it got on his face. FML
Today, I went to a dance and saw a really cute guy. Glow sticks were everywhere, so trying to be cute, I took a broken one and dripped some of the glowing liquid on my chest. It made him notice me, but only for him to point out that I'd managed to cut myself and was bleeding badly. FML
Today, while on a date with the guy of my dreams, I cut my tongue so bad it bled for an hour. I managed to cut it on the plastic spoon from my coffee. FML
Today, I went to the grocery store. I saw a very cute guy in the aisle and smiled. He smiled back and blushed a little. He walked over and I flirted with him. He said, "I thought you should know the zipper on your jeans is down" and walked away. It was. FML
Today, I was on the couch, about to make out with the guy I've been dating. As soon as our lips touched, my overprotective dog ran up and bit him. He bled. FML
Today, I was on my third date with this really cute girl. After a very romantic evening, I decided to go for the first kiss, but because of my nervous reflex in which I get bloody noses, I ended up bleeding all over her face. FML
Today, I was at a fancy restaurant. I was drinking some water when I noticed a hot guy eating alone at another table waving at me. I smiled back, but had forgotten to swallow the water so it dribbled out of my mouth all over my shirt. FML
Today, I was sitting with my crush at lunch. Trying to flirt, I tried to stare seductively into his eyes while sucking on my straw. I missed. The straw shot straight up my nose, causing me the worst nose bleed of my life. FML
Today, while at Costco, I was eating a hotdog when I saw a really hot guy walking over. Trying to be sexy, I bit my hotdog cutely and winked. I ended up choking and dropping the ketchup covered hotdog all over my lap. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Welshite 40
Let's just hope he's a vampire.
baseballbv 17
Cover your mouth with your hand like you're smiling shyly. It's cute.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (56)
_heavenlysasa 16
You must've bit too hard
NotDarkKnight 27
Is "bite" an understatement here? Unless you had dry lips, it sounds like you chomped down!
cappellaaa 23
chapped much? lol
lauriemarie 3
Someone has been reading too much '50 Shades of Grey'
erriiinn 9
How did you manage to bite so hard that it bled?
Marie54321 19
Damn, that bites..
lifein2014 13
somebody's lips were chapped 0_0
harvey21nexhip 7
Smooth
vikky538 29
jusy the thought of having him made you bleed..god knows what will happen when you are with him
ShariG2010 8
Well did you get the guys number atleast?