Today, I received my first phone call of the new year. It was the police station informing me that my elderly grandmother has been arrested for indecent exposure. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I went to pay my grandma a visit. She called the cops because she didn't recognize me and thought I was a robber. FML
Today, I got a phone call letting me know my grandmother was arrested for trying to light my grandpa on fire. She's now in jail, asking for bail money. FML
Today, I spent several hours downtown with my violent grandma, after she was arrested for threatening a guy with a gun. His crime? "Trespassing" by ringing the doorbell and asking if she was interested in donating to charity. FML
Today, being the nice grandchild that I am, I went to visit my grandmother. She didn't recognise who I was. I thought she was joking. She later called the police as, "Some weirdo had walked into her house." I'm that weirdo; she wasn't joking. FML
Today, my grandmother drunk dialed me at midnight to wish me a happy new year. I was already in bed. My grandmother has a better social life than I do. FML
Today, my phone rang while I was home alone. When I picked up, all I could hear was heavy breathing. Convinced it was one of my friends playing a joke, I said loudly, "Get off the phone, you fucker, and don't call back!" It turned out it was my grandma. She had been having a stroke. FML
Today, the police turned up. It turns out the girl I slept with two nights ago was burgled. She told my great aunt, who happens to live next door to her. They then told my grandparents, who then told my mum. I'm now a suspect. FML
Today, my grandpa, a married high school teacher, got arrested for having an inappropriate relationship with a female student. Hearing the news, I called my grandma crying. Not only is he most likely going to jail, but in seven months I will have a new aunt who is eighteen years younger than me. FML
Today, some cops came to my house saying that the neighbors thought the party I was having was too loud and obnoxious. It was my grandmother's 86 birthday party. FML
Today, I was on the phone with my senile grandma, when I told her I had to go because I had an appointment at the clinic. For some reason, she assumed I was talking about an abortion clinic, and started raging at me and calling me a murderer. FML
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Top comments
jemmers 13
Go grandma! At least she had fun.
kjcamaro3 5
Come on granny....roll those hooters back up!
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Comments (157)
brick_man33 14
was she high on pcp?. 9 out of 10 times pcp arrest end with indecent exposure so idk....
trippythehippy 6
The flasher that thought about retiring? Guess she decided to stick it out another year...
MrsPegg 45
Hey, this isn't in response to your comment, but in response to your profile description. You can only send messages on the full website. (I don't have an option on my app). But you can access the website on your phone: once you're at the website, on the bottom of the page, click the link that'll take you to the full site. Once you're there, at the middle right area of the page is how you access your messaging account.
yogamaster9000 0
Haha that's awesome. Weird, but awesome. OP probably had a great laugh picking her up
bubo_fml 11
Are you sure it was 'indecent exposure' instead of 'public endangerment?'
daydreamer244 13
that's one awesome grandma
Leah_love 0
Maybe you shouldn't let her be alone on the kinda night…
phatdaddy62 23
In Oregon, public indecency requires the exposure of genitals. Just Sayin!
M0rt 0
That's hot
freckleface221 19
I'm not as think as you drink I am!
Astroman129 7
I thought it was pretty decent.