Today, I received a gift certificate from my grandmother for a local bookshop. Considering how broke I am, this would be a fantastic gift. If the bookshop in question wasn't a right-wing evangelical Christian Bookshop, and I wasn't Jewish. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I found a gift card under my bed that I lost a few months ago for $400 to a store that went out of business last week. FML
Today, the only birthday present I got was a gift card to a steak house. Not a bad gift, but I'm a vegan. FML
Today, the first gift I opened was from my uncle. It was $80 in clothes that I'd bought for myself a week earlier. FML
Today, my brother inherited a book from our grandmother that, in his ignorance, he donated to a charity shop because he’s “not a big reader”. I raced to buy it back, but someone had already bought it. The book in question: a mint condition, 1954 first edition Lord of the Rings, valued at £5000. FML
Today, I received a pair of earrings, a necklace, and some rings as a Christmas gift from my grandma. This would have been nice if I weren't a guy. This is her way of mocking me for wearing what she calls "girl colors", such as white. FML
Today, I walked past a man handing out miniature Bibles on my way to class. He handed me one, commenting "here, you look like you need this." FML
Today, I received a late Christmas present from my estranged father. I was really excited, having neither seen nor heard from him in nearly two years. It was a $200 gift card for a store that only exists in Canada. I don't live in Canada. Not even close. FML
Today, I gave over $100 to my online friend in presents for Christmas, only to find out he can't use any because of his strict parents. FML
Today, my girlfriend donated most of my book collection because she got me a Kindle for Christmas. Some were signed, including my Harry Potters. FML
Today, it was my birthday. My grandma gave me a hug and a check after wishing me a happy birthday and walked away giggling. I was excited because it was the only gift I had gotten all day. Ten minutes later, I realized that it was actually just my tax refund. FML
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Top comments
ComoEsJuan 24
Jesus Christ what a gift!
TheGolfGTI 24
Don't jewish it was a different gift?
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Comments (47)
AGB10 19
You could buy any book and sell it on eBay and spend it on whatever you really like?
PenguinBitch 44
Pass the gift certificate to someone else.
kayteakay 26
Buy her a gift certificate to a left-wing, feminist bookstore in return.
Ichiya 29
Give her a one way ticket to Hell. Just clean up afterwards.
cutiegirl12326 17
Haha she probably thought you needed it
jpb6174 1
hahahahahhahaaha. what a shallow and unimaginative username
thunderniron 22
They do have books that are Old Testament.
skyline0392 8
Who cares buy a book and sell it if you need the money. It's the thought the counts
gothixchic 5
You might go there anyways if you feel comfortable. They prob. Have non-religious books as well. Or you could get on one of the gift card selling sites.
captainsmegma 12
Maybe they have some porno magazines or a secret back room filled with smutty books.
thesadboy 19
That's the Old Testament, right?
orsombre_fml 11
This is mean :-(
tnlander 20
In order to know what you stand for you need to know what you stand against.