Animals: Today, I realized the fastest way to wake up isn't from an alarm...

By jenA - 21/08/2012 13:04 - United States - Russellville

Today, I realized the fastest way to wake up isn't from an alarm clock. It's from the warm, wet sensation of your old and senile cat peeing on you and your bed. I swear he was smiling. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 853

You deserved it 2 987

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Same thing different taste

By Cat Piss - 15/12/2013 16:58 - United States - Lavon

Today, I was woken up to the sound of my cat peeing on the pillow next to mine. When I yelled at him, he jumped over my face and off the bed. He was still peeing the entire time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 674

You deserved it 6 875

By Allie cat - 02/12/2016 13:43

Today, while in deep sleep, I was suddenly awoken by a tickle on my face and nearly threw my cat off the bed. Apparently, 4 a.m. Is the perfect time to touch noses with your human. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 477

You deserved it 1 577

Signs of distress

By Anonymous - 29/04/2022 04:00

Today, I was woken up by my cat, who normally doesn't bother me in the morning, meowing desperately and trying to get me to wake up. Fearing that something was very wrong, I jumped out of bed. He gestured for me to follow him, so I did. I followed him all the way to the kitchen, where he proceeded to puke. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 026

You deserved it 181

The gift

By Anonymous - 15/12/2023 14:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I turned over in my sleep and fell out of bed, face-first into a puddle of cold cat vomit that my cat had left for me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 478

You deserved it 153

Precision strike

By Zodiacfall - 27/10/2019 02:00

Today, I replaced my bedsheets with new, clean ones. I went to the bathroom to wash up, and when I came back, my cat had peed exactly where my head would be. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 592

You deserved it 232

By Anonymous - 28/12/2013 00:05 - New Zealand - Christchurch

Today, my dad thought it would be funny to wake me up by sprinkling catnip over me then dropping my cat on top of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 205

You deserved it 3 810

Alexa, play "The Lovecats" by The Cure

By MistofAvalon - 24/04/2020 14:00

Today, my cat woke me up announcing he was hungry by standing on my bedside table. This placed him both next to and above my head. Did he do this by meowing? Nope. Did he do it by tapping me with his little paw? Not that either. He sneezed all over my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 384

You deserved it 289

By Noname - 30/01/2009 18:18 - Canada

Today, I was woken up by my roommates cat meowing so loudly at her door, wanting in. Suddenly it stopped. I was just falling back into sleep when I rolled over and the cat was right there beside my head. Meowing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 798

You deserved it 3 074

Suffer little humans

By Go away dude - 11/06/2023 11:00 - United States

Today, I went to bed, falling asleep quickly; however, my cat decided to show up and lay on top of me, making me so uncomfortably hot and sweaty that my body immediately woke me up so I wouldn't die of a heat stroke. It's fucking 1:00 AM. He NEVER sleeps with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 625

You deserved it 175

Appetizer

By cacheson - 06/04/2022 16:00

Today, my cat woke me up by drooling all over my face. Whatever happened to “Cats rule, dogs drool”? FML

I agree, your life sucks 624

You deserved it 232

onlychildFTW 33

Tuesday 21 August 2012 18:59

Hey you could market a peeing alarm clock and make millions! People need a good way to wake up. Haha.

Melissa92_fml 13

Tuesday 21 August 2012 19:00

Sounds like a crazy version of the Cheshire Cat :D.. Though he's kinda crazy to begin with.

Comments

ebonyirony 29

Tuesday 21 August 2012 20:02

Meow!

l23VIVE 17

Wednesday 22 August 2012 5:15

My Dad and Step-Mom got married on your birthday haha. They got married last year though

argenyorkie 11

Tuesday 21 August 2012 20:04

Of course it was smiling, all cats get pleasure out of inflicting pain and humiliation to their humans. But they're just so cute, we love them anyway.

emoshadow47 9

Tuesday 21 August 2012 20:19

I cant think of a witty response

folfg0 12

Tuesday 21 August 2012 21:52

Then don't comment.

noisebox 1

Tuesday 21 August 2012 20:27

Cats gotta go

bjf10 22

Tuesday 21 August 2012 20:43

Older cats often have kidney / bladder problems.

DespairFaction 11

Tuesday 21 August 2012 20:57

One of the many reasons I hate cat.

Cinderella_Man 10

Tuesday 21 August 2012 21:14

Get your cat checked out. Mine used to do that, it turns out it's Kidneys were infected.

alycion 38

Tuesday 21 August 2012 21:34

Mine had diabetes. And white vinegar will clean the stain pretty good. Dealt with a piss spot on a sleep number mattress with a rescue who had kidney failure. Soak the linens in vinegar before washing them as well.