By penisgrabber - 15/12/2010 17:07 - United States

Spicy
Today, I came to the realization I make a living trimming the hair off dogs' privates. I've touched more dog penises than I have human ones, and sometimes the dogs get "excited" while I'm working. FML
I agree, your life sucks 36 354
You deserved it 7 036

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I noticed that you refrained from saying that you're a dog groomer, and that you "make a living trimming the hair off dogs' privates". This implies that you specialize in the penis of dogs. Do you occasionally get requests to groom a dog and have to reply, "sorry, I only do the penis and sometimes the scrotum, you'll have to look elsewhere"? Also, don't lie. You love it.

Do you get excited too?

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pahahaha oh thts soo wrong..but yet so funny!!

you know you like the pinky!

RED ROCKET RED ROCKET!

^lol exactly what i was thinking.

This would only be an FML if the OP is a male. On the other hand, if it's a female then the dogs are in for a treat. :)

She is a dog whisperer! She leans in and ... Well, she whispers.

at least something gets turned on by you OP

41 she is female ( I hope ) cuz it's said ' I've touch more dog penises den I have human ones . ' unless op is gay or otherwise I believe it's a she .

i've licked more dog vagina than I have human vagina FML

do you give them a happy ending

whispering eye?

Animals don't get 'excited' in a sexual "feel good" way. FYI beastiality is a crime where you live.

Bwahaha, no happy endings here!

made all the puppies lip sticks poke out eh..

Your FML should be, "I'm hot enough for dogs, but not enough for people.FML" xD

^That was meant for #54^

Do you get excited too?

Hope OP doesn't...that would be just wrong...

I got excited just by reading the FML.

hahaha!!! naximus - your hilarious but that's just wrong x)

poor you

This FML is disturbing :(

You lucky dog.

What you did there...I saw it. You sly dog, you.

Doggystyle?

I noticed that you refrained from saying that you're a dog groomer, and that you "make a living trimming the hair off dogs' privates". This implies that you specialize in the penis of dogs. Do you occasionally get requests to groom a dog and have to reply, "sorry, I only do the penis and sometimes the scrotum, you'll have to look elsewhere"? Also, don't lie. You love it.

your not a ninja. liar.

I was going to say the same thing. Fritz? Where does it say he is a ninja? He is a friend of a ninja. LOL

@9 - Right on. Just look at the OP's user name. :)

ROFLMAO. I didn't even see that.

Thank you. As Skroal points out, I am the friend of ninjas. OP should edit her name to "dogpenisgrabber", since that one word makes a huge difference.

your first post wasn't funny, and using it a 2nd time doesn't make it funnier just throwing that out there

Sorry I've insulted you and your favorite hobby. Grab all the penis you want.

yes, because using a third time makes it funny

Okay good. Apparently the second time didn't work, but I'm glad the third time was a success. Cheers.

third times the charm

Holy crap memo, way to be a b*tch... We should enter you in a b*tch contest. Oh wait, since you are the only one competing, you win!

60- You aren't funny...

60 you flatter me with your cheesy comments plus, my crown would clearly be stolen by Sarah Palin or Jane Brewer

Jan* ffffuuu auto correct

that was terrible

speak for yourself memo, I thought it was hilarious so suck it

63, I may not be funny, but that doesn't mean she isn't a bitch.

Flame war, flame war, flame war!!

Bitch. :)

Dog groomers make good money quit complaining

isn't that what this site is for? I complain about my life, you complain about yours. then everything is ok because we leave knowing life sucks all around, and we can laugh at each other and have the stress relieved.

wait. wait. wait. so you mean to tell me that you work at a pet groomer assembly line? like, a dog goes on the conveyor belt, and there are a bunch of people that specialize in grooming a different part of the dog? i mean, that's cool and all. but how on earth did you learn to groom penis-areas? and why? also, do you not groom female dogs ever? this fml poses too many questions for my taste.

quite possibly.

super funnnnn.

today, I groomed 10 dogs. 5 of them were male, 5 were female. after grooming the head, ears, and body, I got to groom their belly and private parts. one dog got excited. I've been doing this for 2 years to pay for college. such fun. I didn't think it sounded as good like this, either.

1. now this just looks like i was talking to myself. which makes me smile. 2. thanks for answering my questions, Question Man! you're my hero.

why does that happen? a good 3 of my comments back to people have been deleted.