Today, I realized that since I started working full time, the only friend I have left is my cat. Lonely and bored out of my mind, I told him about my day. He decided to end the conversation by shitting on the floor. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I got a promotion. I was really excited until I realized that the only friend I had to celebrate with was my pet cat. FML
Today, I watched as my poor old cat dragged his ass across our living room carpet, leaving an equally long shit stain on our pristine carpet. My pleas for him to stop only made his diarrhea worse as he ran off. FML
Today, I came home very tired from a bad day at work, and really just wanted to relax on the couch for a while. My cat jumped into my lap, wanting affection. I was petting him, thanking him for his emotional support. He reciprocated by noxiously farting in my face and running away. FML
Today, my cat was too overweight to get out of the litter box, so he gave up, and went to sleep. I had to pick him up out of his own waste and clean him up. FML
Today, after being filled with joy after seeing my very elderly cat finally enjoying the sun in my garden, I skipped over to give her a hug. Turns out she was taking a shit. FML
Today, I adopted a cat, thinking it would make my life a little less lonely. Within an hour, the cat ran away. Not even animals want to be around me. FML
Today, in the early hours of the morning, my cat started scratching at my legs. I got out of bed and he raced me to the stairs, tripping me. I fell all the way down and landed in cat poop. FML
Today, my cat sat on me, 30 minutes before I had to go to work. When I picked him up almost immediately after he got comfortable so I could get ready, he looked and sounded absolutely crushed. FML
Today, because I wanted to let my cat have his breakfast before I used the bathroom, which is also his dining room, I learned that when your day starts with shitting your pants, things can only get better from there. FML
Today, trying to be funny in front of some friends, I held my cat above my head Lion King style. The height must have made him nervous, because he shat on my head. FML
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Top comments
rocketslider 0
at least he listened :')
YayorNay 8
So the cat still gives a shit.
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Comments (116)
shadow33456 1
you must of had a shitty day
amuck 0
Get a dog, they are a lot better of a friend than a cat! and the first meal for the dog should be that worthless cat!
iparker97 0
what a lovely cat
geekpowerwtf 0
you told him so much shit so he needed to dump it somehow?!
HahaYDI 0
That's how I end conversations too.
manbearpig7173 0
At least he gives a shit?
BaconLover5 6
Aww... what a nice kitty!
Cigar 11
If your pet is acting strange you should take a closer look at them, they might be sick or even injured.
amuck 0
shit happens I guess, damn auto correct.... oh well
chulamami916 6
And maybe with that money you earn, should you go buy a litter box for your cat to shit in so this could be avoided next time.