Today, I realized that my alcoholism has gotten so bad that I rotate liquor stores so the clerks don't think bad about me. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my drinking habit hit a new low when I waited almost an hour to go to the liquor store after it opened because I didn't want to seem desperate. FML
Today, I was refused employment at a liquor store. Their reason? I'm a regular customer and they're afraid I'll drink all their profits. FML
Today, I had to admit that I'm an alcoholic when I spent my last dollar bills on Southern Comfort instead of tampons. FML
Today, I was addressed by name by the liquor store clerk. I've never told him my name. He's just seen my ID many times. FML
Today, I noticed I have more alcohol in my fridge than I do actual food. FML
Today, it has got to the point that I don't even have to ask for my booze in the local off-licence, they just hand me my bottle. FML
Today, I had a mumbled conversation with myself in a supermarket aisle about whether or not to buy a bottle of bourbon. Nothing screams "pathetic loser" like an alcoholic in denial having a debate with himself out loud near strangers. FML
Today, I realized that the cashier at the liquor store and I are already on a first-name basis. I just moved to this town a week ago. FML
Today, I bought a small bottle of liquor to share with my husband to celebrate our move. It took three hours at the store as the cashier, manager, GM, and a police officer checked my ID believing it was fake. I'm 25. FML
Today, at dinner, I accidentally let it slip that I'd taken a small sip of alcohol a few years ago and hated it. My extremely strict parents are now trying to get me into rehab. FML
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Top comments
snowieflake 0
The first step to getting better is realizing your problem. Now you just have to get help to fully get better. You can do it!
tingting1 0
hmm.. get help this is kind of sad....
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Comments (113)
shcuwnc 0
Please get help, and do NOT drink and drive, you can't take it back if you kill some one, because you were drunk.
DrunkenValor 0
Drinking warm lager is like listening to the beatles without ear plugs. Also, OP you should go liquour stores and pretend you're stocking up for a party. That's what me and my friend do. (THERE IS NO PARTY)
mooneydriver 0
Wow, brilliant insight! I'm sure they never considered that before!
driedpeaches 0
If you can't drink and drive, then why do bars have parking lots?
imtrying 0
Yeah, definitely don't drink and drive. Hey, you are aware of the problem and it is a huge problem. Ugh, I know, man. I quit for three years then for some stupid reason thought I'd try moderate drinking. Not going so well. I need to just abstain totally. I haven't done anything terribly stupid yet, but it is only a matter of time and bad luck if I don't just quit. I hear you. Quit. Seek help. I wonder if there is an online AA. I don't want to go sit in a smokey room. ew. And uh, I don't really want to come out to the world as an alcoholic either. When I am dry I typically just tell people I quit for health reasons or I just dont' like it. Truth is I love the shit out of it and I hate it too. Good luck!
DrunkenValor 0
OH! And you could go liquour stores wearing ski masks, I'm sure that won't back fire anyway what so ever!
lakita_lover 0
Admitting you have a problem is the first step to recovery. Now, join a rehabilitation program and sober up. Good luck.
flyboy57 0
that's not bad. you're showing concious thinking. if you were really bad, you just wouldn't give a **** and go to the closest store for booze.
littlegolferboy 4
I was going to click YDI, but then I saw that you live in Alberta so now I would definitely have to say FYL.
Mewtwo_fml 1
Liquor store fag here -- trust me, even if you're rotating liquor stores, we still know you're doing it. I know a few people who buy from my store, and go to another store 3 minutes away just to seem like they're not alcoholics. Seriously though, get professional help.
mushrooms_fml 0
Time to try Alcoholics Anonymous...
guitardedman 0
god i hate the people who don't understand the legitimacy of alcoholism. on the positive side, its better than an addiction to a more life-ruining substance like meth or heroine but it still is not a decent life choice. try AA man, thats all i got..my uncle did that, one year sober.
SKYblue_fml 1
This is honestly a really sad FML.
mooneydriver 0
Alcohol is a LESS life ruining substance than meth or heroine? I drink, but I'm not under the illusion that it's any less of a dance with the devil than the other hard drugs are. People don't take alcohol as seriously as they do other hard drugs, and it comes back to bite a lot of them in the ass. Alcohol deaths per 100,000: 150 Heroin deaths per 100,000: 80 http://www.druglibrary.org/think/~jnr/drugmort.htm 40% of all fatalities in car crashes are alcohol related. (That's 16,694 deaths in 2004) http://www.infoplease.com/ipa/A0908129.html Alcohol contributes to 1 in 25 deaths worldwide http://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/155447.php
sweetkid689 0
You are such a douche. Find stats in reference to Alcohol Users and Heroine users.