Tim
United States
Today, I realized that as a U.S. Marine in the infantry, I'm more afraid to talk to girls than I am of getting shot at. FML
Collection
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Same thing different taste
Big_gulps_huh
This FML is from back in 2017 but it's good stuff
Minneapolis, United States
Shy guy
Today, I realized I am more confident running a million-dollar piece of construction equipment than I am around people of the opposite sex. FML
Female
Montebello, United States
Today, I was excited to finally get an interview after being unemployed since getting out of the military nearly a year ago. Turns out, they weren't even interested in hiring me. They'd just never met a female Marine before. FML
carboat
United States
Today, I woke up and I'm still in the Marine Corps. FML
Anonymous
Davis, United States
Today, I realized that I will be leaving for the US Marine Corps in June, and the presidential election is in November. I could potentially be serving with Trump as my Commander-in-Chief. FML
Anonymous
United States
Today, I realized the closest thing I have to guys hitting on me are the ones who ask to be my friend on Call of Duty because I have the word "girl" in my name. FML
Anonymous
Frying pan, meet fire
Today, I got back from an 8 month deployment but rather than being pleased to see me my wife wanted to continue the same argument we were having the day I left. I miss being shot at. FML
Fitz
United States
Benefits
Today, I overheard my mother and sister talking so I stopped to eavesdrop. I recently enlisted in the Marines, and they were talking about what they would do with the money if I died. FML
S3R1AL K1LL3R X
United States
Smooth brainrot
Today, in my college class, our teacher asked us what we wanted to do when we get out of college. I guess being a U.S. Marine gets you a lecture for the whole class to hear that I'm a war hungry pig, and should get a real job that requires a brain. My job field is Aircraft repair. FML
saywhat
United States
Today, I met the girl who dumped me because the distance between us was too great. We're in the same city again. She's now dating a Marine in Iraq. FML
Jaxter
United States
Catch!
Today, I was walking up to girlfriend's house when her terrifying Marine Corps dad threw a football at me. Not being very athletic, I surprised myself by catching it. He gestured for me throw it back and I watched it spiral wildy to the left and hit my girlfriend's mom in the face. FML
Top comments
dc4 12
Awww, that's cute :P
FreakinChaps 0
Girls aren't THAT scary...
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Comments (424)
ellajanson 5
jeez were not that bad!!
SneakherHead 5
Stop lying :)
laden_swallow09 34
Uhh… evidently, you are. Why do you think there's so many sitcoms on TV where the woman is scary? Has to be a kernel of truth to it if it's even passable as humor.
laden_swallow09 34
That was aimed at 19, BTW
picupbart 0
you mean like Roseanne? :D
Absurd101 0
Dear 19, YES YOU ARE Sincerely, American Guys
TN9R 1
Thanks for serving. Girls aren't scary at all just pick some as friends and go from there.
pfx2_fml 15
Maybe your just gay
TalkinSmack 6
heres your new pick up line OP: (you) "hey baby, wanna play war?" (her) "how do u play war?" (you) "get down on your knees and blow my head off!"
Awahso 25
Hahaha oh my god. That's amazing!
Jdog619 11
That was the most ******* epic pickup line ever. I think I love you.
whcwtexan 0
Epic Win!
genesisnirvana 11
You are a win.
TalkinSmack 6
lmfao! thanks!
brianjman14 22
Hahahahahahahaha!!!!!
lajaynay 15
As much as I detest doing that. That was actually very clever. Maybe even actually worth it.
Wheredidgrungego 12
Dude you're in the MARINES. Chicks should be begging to suck your dick for saving our country. So thank you for not being afraid of bullets and keeping all us regular people safe.
WiderWille 11
And thanks for being afraid of girls so that we can keep them.
Nicoya456 4
That is cute
haydenbro03 4
^^ shrek?
bigbadtim 7
Maybe if the girl was shooting at you.
Awesome_Guy2468 0
I would even scream at her lol
haileebug7 0
well then.. haha that stinks
eir64 0
Don't be. Lots of women think marines are sexy, or basically any uniformed soldier. Don't be so down, OP.
wiseone91 0
I'm an infantry marine as well and I get nervous around girls too