Today, I pulled out a book and my bookmark fell out. My crush picked it up and a weird look came across his face. I then realized I had used toilet paper. Now I'm the girl who reads while taking dumps. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Same thing different taste
Bathtime
Today, I took a relaxing bath, but got the book I was reading slightly wet when getting out. I put it on top of the towel dryer after delicately shaking it. Five minutes later, I heard a splash; I went into the bathroom to find that my book had toppled into the toilet bowl. FML
Today, I lost a book. I'd used my credit card as a bookmark. FML
Shorty-Greasy Spot-Spot
Today, while studying with the girl I like, I rested my face on my book, pretending to be frustrated. When I lifted my head, I realized I'd left a greasy spot on the page from my nose. She noticed. FML
Today, while reading in the bath, I accidentally switched the shower on. Not wanting my book to get soaked, I threw it out of the tub. When I got out of the tub later, I found it had landed squarely in the toilet. FML
Decorum and etiquette
Today. I used the restroom at the mall. After I wiped, I went to toss the paper into the toilet. I missed horribly. The wad of TP with poop on it landed on the floor of the next stall. It was occupied. FML
Today, I was taking a dump at a public restroom. As I reached over to grab the toilet paper, I realized someone had peed on it. FML
Today, while I was in a bathroom stall, the guy next to me asked me for toilet paper. It was then that I realized I didn't have any either. FML
Joe Bidet
Today, I went to the bathroom at my boyfriend's house. Right as I sat down and started taking a dump, I looked over at the empty toilet paper roll and remembered his roommate had told us the night before that they were out of toilet paper. FML
Shit for brains
Today, in desperate need of a shit, I quickly ran into a shop to buy toilet paper. I rushed home and unleashed, only to realise I'd bought paper towels. Without options, I had to wipe my ass with them and consequently blocked the toilet. I found rolls of toilet paper while looking for the plunger. FML
Sneaky
Today, I was on the toilet at work. After a very loud and very smelly session, I waited until the other stall had been vacated to keep my anonymity. As I leant forward for some toilet roll, my ID fell out of my pocket and into the next stall. When I came out, it was face up near the sink. FML
Top comments
tjamurphy 5
I'm reading this fml from a toilet so i can't really judge.
mackdeezy 22
Dont we all in some way shape or form?
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Comments (72)
perdix 31
"Used toilet paper?!?!" You're going to get shit on the pages! If you're reading "Fifty Shades of Grey," it would be an improvement.
angeluv_2014 22
dude i do that all the time if he thinks you're weird then he's the freak :)
missyfiona89 28
There's nothing wrong with multitasking.
Ibeatmyself 3
even though some ppl wont admit it but we all read on the toilet
skyeyez9 25
I read on my iPad while on the toilet. Most houses I have been to, they have a basket with magazines in it by the toilet. Everybody reads in the bathroom whether they admit it or not.
noisebox 1
So what's wrong with that it's the best place to read and hang a rat, just wash your hands when your finished....
FalconSam1414 19
I read on the toilet all of the time, don't worry about it lol
haydo3288 1
A lot of people do it!
Chinman05 4
Hah u seem like my kind of girl ;)
logicalkitty 4
I'm reading this while taking a poop right now.