Today, I pulled out a book and my bookmark fell out. My crush picked it up and a weird look came across his face. I then realized I had used toilet paper. Now I'm the girl who reads while taking dumps. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I took a relaxing bath, but got the book I was reading slightly wet when getting out. I put it on top of the towel dryer after delicately shaking it. Five minutes later, I heard a splash; I went into the bathroom to find that my book had toppled into the toilet bowl. FML
Today, I lost a book. I'd used my credit card as a bookmark. FML
Today, while studying with the girl I like, I rested my face on my book, pretending to be frustrated. When I lifted my head, I realized I'd left a greasy spot on the page from my nose. She noticed. FML
Today, while reading in the bath, I accidentally switched the shower on. Not wanting my book to get soaked, I threw it out of the tub. When I got out of the tub later, I found it had landed squarely in the toilet. FML
Today. I used the restroom at the mall. After I wiped, I went to toss the paper into the toilet. I missed horribly. The wad of TP with poop on it landed on the floor of the next stall. It was occupied. FML
Today, I was taking a dump at a public restroom. As I reached over to grab the toilet paper, I realized someone had peed on it. FML
Today, while I was in a bathroom stall, the guy next to me asked me for toilet paper. It was then that I realized I didn't have any either. FML
Today, I went to the bathroom at my boyfriend's house. Right as I sat down and started taking a dump, I looked over at the empty toilet paper roll and remembered his roommate had told us the night before that they were out of toilet paper. FML
Today, in desperate need of a shit, I quickly ran into a shop to buy toilet paper. I rushed home and unleashed, only to realise I'd bought paper towels. Without options, I had to wipe my ass with them and consequently blocked the toilet. I found rolls of toilet paper while looking for the plunger. FML
Today, I was on the toilet at work. After a very loud and very smelly session, I waited until the other stall had been vacated to keep my anonymity. As I leant forward for some toilet roll, my ID fell out of my pocket and into the next stall. When I came out, it was face up near the sink. FML
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Top comments
tjamurphy 5
I'm reading this fml from a toilet so i can't really judge.
mackdeezy 22
Dont we all in some way shape or form?
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Comments (72)
Abbeygale 8
I'd be thankful the bit of toilet roll was clean, otherwise this situation could have been so much worse.
jlp549 5
Hope it wasn't used toilet paper
DelphiCat 17
Firstly, as has already been pointed out, tons of people do that. Secondly, i've done that before, but the paper was actually from next to my bed coz i was using it instead of tissues! (i had a really bad cold, the tissues and kitchen towel were long gone!). I used it for several days and no one even commented lol
izzy7 11
There is a book next to every toilet in my house. It's completely normal to read/play with your phone on the toilet. I has an ex that every time he got up and grabbed his PSP off the table I knew exactly where he was going. Don't feel bad OP, I bet even your crush does it. He's just teasing because he likes you back. :-)
fanaticdragon 10
I can't take a dump without *knowing* I have a book there to read. Never saw it as something out of the ordinary, I have a set of bookends in the loo for that very purpose..
Samandra 4
What's wrong with that?
pcentral 17
*insert sad trombone sound effect*
Znuff 0
Honey... More than half FML readers are doing it on the toilet
Eirena 5
Loads of people read on the toilet. I had a mate who even brought the laptop in with him. (Admittedly, THAT weirded me out a little.) Anyhow, nothing wrong here at all.
MeganLovesPandas 5
Sounds shitty.