Today, I pulled out a book and my bookmark fell out. My crush picked it up and a weird look came across his face. I then realized I had used toilet paper. Now I'm the girl who reads while taking dumps. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I took a relaxing bath, but got the book I was reading slightly wet when getting out. I put it on top of the towel dryer after delicately shaking it. Five minutes later, I heard a splash; I went into the bathroom to find that my book had toppled into the toilet bowl. FML
Today, I lost a book. I'd used my credit card as a bookmark. FML
Today, while studying with the girl I like, I rested my face on my book, pretending to be frustrated. When I lifted my head, I realized I'd left a greasy spot on the page from my nose. She noticed. FML
Today, while reading in the bath, I accidentally switched the shower on. Not wanting my book to get soaked, I threw it out of the tub. When I got out of the tub later, I found it had landed squarely in the toilet. FML
Today. I used the restroom at the mall. After I wiped, I went to toss the paper into the toilet. I missed horribly. The wad of TP with poop on it landed on the floor of the next stall. It was occupied. FML
Today, I was taking a dump at a public restroom. As I reached over to grab the toilet paper, I realized someone had peed on it. FML
Today, while I was in a bathroom stall, the guy next to me asked me for toilet paper. It was then that I realized I didn't have any either. FML
Today, I went to the bathroom at my boyfriend's house. Right as I sat down and started taking a dump, I looked over at the empty toilet paper roll and remembered his roommate had told us the night before that they were out of toilet paper. FML
Today, in desperate need of a shit, I quickly ran into a shop to buy toilet paper. I rushed home and unleashed, only to realise I'd bought paper towels. Without options, I had to wipe my ass with them and consequently blocked the toilet. I found rolls of toilet paper while looking for the plunger. FML
Today, I was on the toilet at work. After a very loud and very smelly session, I waited until the other stall had been vacated to keep my anonymity. As I leant forward for some toilet roll, my ID fell out of my pocket and into the next stall. When I came out, it was face up near the sink. FML
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Top comments
tjamurphy 5
I'm reading this fml from a toilet so i can't really judge.
mackdeezy 22
Dont we all in some way shape or form?
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Comments (72)
robert76 5
Who doesn't read while taking a dump?
bjf10 22
People who don't read, I guess?
Abbeygale 8
Blind people.
nonnieluv 9
So being literate and resourceful is a bad thing?
weeabaka 6
Kleenex? a napkin? Anything could have given you a better reputation!
weeabaka 6
Besides, At least you read? He should take that as a good sign.
Bibliovore 26
Try using post-it notes for bookmarks. They never fall out, you can reuse them just fine, and it's no great loss if you lose one.
ajeppsen 25
I thought everybody reads while taking dumps. I read FMLs on my iPod while on the toilet. That's how I read this one.
junkman6 22
Someones being a teeny bit over sensitive. PS "everybody poops" is great toilet reading
ganjaone 2
That's not a bad thing
mrnuleef 7
Things I've done while taking a dump: commented on fmls, play video games, draw, read, brush my teeth, written papers, thought "man, this comment is way over the borderline of my personal toilet time," etc. So reading is perfectly fine!
karencitaa 4
You Too ? High Five !