Today, I pulled out a book and my bookmark fell out. My crush picked it up and a weird look came across his face. I then realized I had used toilet paper. Now I'm the girl who reads while taking dumps. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I took a relaxing bath, but got the book I was reading slightly wet when getting out. I put it on top of the towel dryer after delicately shaking it. Five minutes later, I heard a splash; I went into the bathroom to find that my book had toppled into the toilet bowl. FML
Today, I lost a book. I'd used my credit card as a bookmark. FML
Today, while studying with the girl I like, I rested my face on my book, pretending to be frustrated. When I lifted my head, I realized I'd left a greasy spot on the page from my nose. She noticed. FML
Today, while reading in the bath, I accidentally switched the shower on. Not wanting my book to get soaked, I threw it out of the tub. When I got out of the tub later, I found it had landed squarely in the toilet. FML
Today. I used the restroom at the mall. After I wiped, I went to toss the paper into the toilet. I missed horribly. The wad of TP with poop on it landed on the floor of the next stall. It was occupied. FML
Today, I was taking a dump at a public restroom. As I reached over to grab the toilet paper, I realized someone had peed on it. FML
Today, while I was in a bathroom stall, the guy next to me asked me for toilet paper. It was then that I realized I didn't have any either. FML
Today, I went to the bathroom at my boyfriend's house. Right as I sat down and started taking a dump, I looked over at the empty toilet paper roll and remembered his roommate had told us the night before that they were out of toilet paper. FML
Today, in desperate need of a shit, I quickly ran into a shop to buy toilet paper. I rushed home and unleashed, only to realise I'd bought paper towels. Without options, I had to wipe my ass with them and consequently blocked the toilet. I found rolls of toilet paper while looking for the plunger. FML
Today, I was on the toilet at work. After a very loud and very smelly session, I waited until the other stall had been vacated to keep my anonymity. As I leant forward for some toilet roll, my ID fell out of my pocket and into the next stall. When I came out, it was face up near the sink. FML
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Top comments
tjamurphy 5
I'm reading this fml from a toilet so i can't really judge.
mackdeezy 22
Dont we all in some way shape or form?
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Comments (72)
lumpojoe 4
i read when taking dumps it pass the time
KiddNYC1O 22
I thought you used shitty toilet paper as bookmark.
badkittycat12 2
I always have to either read or play games while I'm on the toilet. I use toilet paper as a bookmark sometimes. I just hope you didn't use it before using it as a bookmark.
jjurox101 5
We all read while taking a dump at some point in my life. My siblings have a basket of books in the bathroom... Ok that's a little weird...
redhedsaysrawr 18
Not at all, We've always had a basket full of books near the toilet in my house... Before I was allowed an ipod, thats what you did lol...
sunny_jatt98 5
Um how about folding the edge of the page
kitsune3 20
HELL NO. Dog-earing is damaging to the book.
chippa 24
It's not damaging to the words on a page and that's all that's important in a book. What's the obsession with keeping them so crisp?
kitsune3 20
If you don't understand, that's your problem.
chippa 24
It's not a problem for me. I was just asking.
redhedsaysrawr 18
Mine totally beats yours OP, I once brought a book to school with a pad sticker as the bookmark and forgot about it...
stitesy29 18
Fold the top corner of the page!!
mrsmaglietta 6
ha that's funny
TheQueenLala 6
Lol I'm on the toilet now
Angelastic_fml 18
I don't really understand why so many people read on the toilet, or how they even have time to read much while they're doing their business. Is everyone horribly constipated but me?