Today, I pulled out a book and my bookmark fell out. My crush picked it up and a weird look came across his face. I then realized I had used toilet paper. Now I'm the girl who reads while taking dumps. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I took a relaxing bath, but got the book I was reading slightly wet when getting out. I put it on top of the towel dryer after delicately shaking it. Five minutes later, I heard a splash; I went into the bathroom to find that my book had toppled into the toilet bowl. FML
Today, I lost a book. I'd used my credit card as a bookmark. FML
Today, while studying with the girl I like, I rested my face on my book, pretending to be frustrated. When I lifted my head, I realized I'd left a greasy spot on the page from my nose. She noticed. FML
Today, while reading in the bath, I accidentally switched the shower on. Not wanting my book to get soaked, I threw it out of the tub. When I got out of the tub later, I found it had landed squarely in the toilet. FML
Today. I used the restroom at the mall. After I wiped, I went to toss the paper into the toilet. I missed horribly. The wad of TP with poop on it landed on the floor of the next stall. It was occupied. FML
Today, I was taking a dump at a public restroom. As I reached over to grab the toilet paper, I realized someone had peed on it. FML
Today, while I was in a bathroom stall, the guy next to me asked me for toilet paper. It was then that I realized I didn't have any either. FML
Today, I went to the bathroom at my boyfriend's house. Right as I sat down and started taking a dump, I looked over at the empty toilet paper roll and remembered his roommate had told us the night before that they were out of toilet paper. FML
Today, in desperate need of a shit, I quickly ran into a shop to buy toilet paper. I rushed home and unleashed, only to realise I'd bought paper towels. Without options, I had to wipe my ass with them and consequently blocked the toilet. I found rolls of toilet paper while looking for the plunger. FML
Today, I was on the toilet at work. After a very loud and very smelly session, I waited until the other stall had been vacated to keep my anonymity. As I leant forward for some toilet roll, my ID fell out of my pocket and into the next stall. When I came out, it was face up near the sink. FML
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Top comments
tjamurphy 5
I'm reading this fml from a toilet so i can't really judge.
mackdeezy 22
Dont we all in some way shape or form?
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Comments (72)
Rodders_SOTC 1
We all do, I'm on the toilet right now. God bless smartphones!
jobart_fml 5
Who Fing cares!!!
Zomg_Okay 27
I've not heard of this Who Fing person. Would you care to tell us about them?
xcarxcrashx 9
Obviously Who Fing cares, he is a bleeding heart who goes around feeling deeply about everything.
FMLKitten 15
Hey, can you tell Mr. Fing I said hi and that it was nice of him to care about OP? Thanks!
Mauskau 36
I always read whilst doing a #2. If I don't read I can't go. No matter what. I turn the corners of pages in books, however. Bookmarks can fall out :P Toilet paper isnt the best to use as a bookmark but if it's all you had at hand then it's fine, just replace it when you get near some proper paper. Your new reputation is the same as everybody else, they're just jealous ;)
vucui 21
Hey, gotta entertain yourself somehow while taking a dump. I think most of us pass our pootime by reading.
SwtCherryPie 26
Who cares? Lots of people read while in the restroom. At least they used to. Now everyone just wants to sit and play on their phone while in there.
Melvar_10 3
I'll read the back of a febreeze bottle while pooping.... So yeah
astralvagan 20
We all need good reading material for the bathroom.... Anyone who says they don't read in the bathroom is either a liar or illiterate.....
AussieChild 22
I am a massive reader and writer by occupation, and I have never read on the toilet.
ChibiChibi_fml 28
Does that have anything to do with that fact that by occupation you are a massive reader and writer so by the time you go to take that long restroom break you are burned out on reading? Have you ever checked your phone while using the toilet?
AussieChild 22
Nope, I leave my phone outside the bathroom. I just find it weird. However, my fiancé always plays phone games on the toilet... Each to their own.
midcoder007 0
oh no ! it life will never be the same !! such shame !!
starburst7596 14
You could be the girl who Skypes on the toilet. It's not that bad. You will be fine OP.
dfens 8
Girls with class don't shit.
eggmarie 25
Well darn, there goes my dream of being the Queen of England
SqueakyChipmunk 22
Well it's a good thing I've graduated; I don't have class anymore!