Today, I proudly told my elitist dad that I now have a beautiful girlfriend. He didn't believe me, so I showed him her Facebook. He demanded that I stop seeing her, saying that the duck-facing in her avatar was the hallmark of "a lower form of being" who would only ever shame our family. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I introduced my girlfriend to my parents over lunch. Unfortunately, I showed my dad her Facebook profile beforehand and he wouldn't stop making cracks about her duckfacing. It started with, "Don't let her eat the bread, it'll puff up in her stomach and kill her", and ended in tears. FML
Today, I introduced my girlfriend to my parents. The first thing my dad did was comment that given how pretty she looked in our photos, and compared to how she looks in real life, she's amazing at using Photoshop. FML
Today, I told my family that I have a girlfriend, and showed them her Facebook. They immediately started taking bets on when I’d mess it up, when she’d dump me, whether she actually existed, if I’d just made a fake Facebook, or whether she was a pro I hired. I hate my siblings. FML
Today, my girlfriend refused to take a picture with me to prove to my friends that I do indeed have a girlfriend. I got so desperate that I photoshopped myself into one of her Facebook photos instead. FML
Today, I introduced my girlfriend to my dad. I thought it was a good idea at the time, at least until he took her aside for a private chat. During the chat, he told her all about my two previous marriages and advised her to "get out while you can". FML
Today, I finally invited my girlfriend over to meet my oddball parents. The first words out of my dad's mouth were, "So, you're the silly girl who agreed to date my dickhead son." It went downhill from there. FML
Today, I introduced my new boyfriend to my parents. Everyone knows he's into the emo scene, but this didn't stop my dad from slowly looking him up and down, then saying, completely deadpan, "You never told us you were a lesbian, honey." FML
Today, I was looking at my friend's dad's Facebook pictures because he recently posted a status update. I saw him at a bar with some ugly hooker that he was feeling up in almost every picture. After about 10 minutes of ridiculing and laughing at this ugly woman, I realize it's my mom in a wig. FML
Today, my dad finally added me on Facebook, When I looked through his photos, I quickly noticed he'd heavily photoshopped the photos I'm in to make me look prettier. FML
Today, I posted a picture of me without makeup on Facebook. A "friend" commented, "fuk me thts hideus!!" My dad replied, "Hideous, yes, just like your godawful spelling!" My mom yelled at my dad for agreeing with the guy, and they're still fighting. Meanwhile, my self-esteem is in the gutter. FML
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Top comments
TheFamilyElf 17
He might just be on to something.
mhopper 13
He's absolutely right!
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Comments (138)
guitarh4 7
He's right!
Mioko_fml 6
Just make sure she stop doing it, I'm sure you don't want her doing it to every single one of your wedding pics.
MadiiMackss 7
You shoulda just scrolled through more pictures like "She's smart I swear!"
kandi_kid69 15
All her pictures probably show her duck facing, holding up the peace sign with underaged cleavage hanging out.
xStaciexLynnx 15
Plus the bikini pic, the I'm looking so cool with sunglasses pic, the bff car pic, and the sticking out your tongue and crossing your eyes pic.
melrose90210 10
You have a smart dad. YDI 100%... Duck face? Really?
Gtroll 4
That's what he said. A duck face.
LGFUADnow 12
Your dad is a parent prodigy.
Inciter 33
I don't understand how anyone can find the "duck face" attractive. It's good that your dad has standards.
fmessiah 19
Listen to your father, there are a million one and one beautiful Qld women here that do not display the duck pout.
GothicAngel17 24
I think I have about two in my friends list that don't. I think they're a bit more rare than that, even here :P
fmessiah 19
Ok, maybe half a million, but there are plenty of non platypus billed smiles out there.
TheNewGuy03 29
If only all dads were this way... OP, are your girlfriend's other pics taken from the top down with a shoddy 1.5-megapixel camera phone? Every now and then, it's cool to be a rebel, but ... really, listen to your dad. He has a point. |the kid|
dwc2134 5
Duck faces originated somewhere... a more apt name might "I'm performing fellatio on an invisible penis" face.
penguindude82 2
dont listen! i dont date a girl unless she is at least half as weird as i am. without a duck face picture on her profile she wouldnt stand a chance.