Today, I posted on Facebook about a cooking mishap I had. My fiancé and ex then spent the next hour trading stories of my other kitchen disasters in the comments. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, my boyfriend was cooking me dinner. He walked away and I decided to help by giving the pan of veggies a sautee flip. My boyfriend failed to mention that he had just pulled that pan out of a 500 degree oven. FML
Today, I was scrolling through my Facebook newsfeed and I noticed my boyfriend had commented on a post. It said, "Tag the hottest girl you know". Yeah, he tagged his ex. FML
Today, I was at a fancy family dinner. The dish I'd made was served, and as we ate, I told my aunt that I was a total failure as a cook, explaining everything wrong about my dish, in painful detail. Apparently we'd both made the same dish. That one wasn't mine. FML
Today, I cooked dinner for my boyfriend, hoping to impress him with my culinary skills. I burnt the garlic bread, overcooked the chicken, and managed to set off the smoke alarm three times. When I finally served the meal, my boyfriend said, "It's like a sad buffet at a middle school prom." FML
Today, I went to my fiancé's house to have dinner with his family for the first time. Trying to be polite at the end of the meal I went to take the plates in to the kitchen. I overestimated how heavy the half-finished soup pot was, and threw soup all over myself and future mother-in-law. FML
Today, I tried a new recipe for dinner. However, the recipe was written by someone with a penchant for overly dramatic storytelling. I spent the entire evening deciphering the narrative while desperately trying to salvage a dish that ultimately tasted like disappointment. FML
Today, I made dinner for myself after a long day full of annoying family drama. I had the pan sizzling away when I went to grab some herbs from the fridge. As I turned around, I tripped on the rug, sending the entire frying pan of food flying into the air. It landed directly in front of my never-endingly hungry dogs, so I watched as my ruined dinner disappeared. FML
Today, my husband started a food fight. During our wedding reception. FML
Today, my ex invited me to dinner where we had a wonderful time. She even picked the first restaurant I'd took her to, and just as I was considering asking her to get back together, she tells me that she’s engaged and didn’t want me to find out from Facebook. I swear the chefs heard my heart break. FML
Today, I changed my relationship status on Facebook from "in a relationship" to "single." I forgot to take my phone to work, and when I got back, I saw someone had replied, "What happened?" Someone else commented, "He broke his hand." My ex and a bunch of other "friends" liked it. FML
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Top comments
UndeadFML 22
Sounds like you were roasted.
Morning_fml 22
Well, at least they're on good terms unlike most relationships involving exes lol.
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Comments (47)
clumsyninja13 21
My 7 year old sister can probably cook better hah! But good luck next time, don't burn and coins or set the house on fire!
worldclassrager 41
Maybe a different site would be better or just have comments needing your approval to be added
PsychicBulwark 4
That your ex and your fiancé get along is a blessing, not a curse. That you are careless in the kitchen is another story altogether. Who wants takeout
chosha_fml 27
You could've just deleted the post at any time to stop their comments.
imslappy 8
quit posting your life on facebook.
uncle_ssaamm 12
ydi for keeping you ex online
IDerive 12
If you truly pick good relationships, you can remain friends.. Why throw away all that time you invested in them..
logank013 20
That's... AMAZING!
TomeDr 25
Sounds like your fiancé just volunteered to cook for the rest of your lives.
vikky538 29
Your username suggesting the post to be FFF
kaylae22 13
My question y would you stay friends with an x of yours. Don't most people when a relationship ends cut the ties.
Morning_fml 22
Some people can actually become friends after a relationship depending on how it ended. Not everyone has to be enemies, you know.