Today, I paid $500 for a gym membership after moving into a brand new house, since 12 years of software development has taken its toll. When I told my instructor about my goal to lose 35lbs in two months, he simply said, "Yeah... That's not going to happen. Try another gym," and left promptly. FML
Collection
Black Friday
70% off something you didn't need, a stampede and a cart that crashes at checkout. Thanks, Black Friday.
Today, it was my first day at a new gym, which cost a fortune. Some skinny teen who had clearly never lifted in his life dropped a weight while I was stretching and broke my ankle. Money down the drain. FML
Today, I tried to compliment a girl at my gym by saying, “Wow, you’re really strong!” She smiled and said, “Thanks.” Then, probably to be polite, she said, “You’re really… trying.” That was her actual word choice. I went home and considered canceling my membership, but I found out that it's designed to be almost impossible to leave the gym. FML
Today, I bought a $300 gym membership that gives me access to the company's non-premium gyms. The non-premium gyms are all closed due to construction, because they're being turned into premium gyms. FML
Today, I bought a $450 elliptical machine to get in shape of the new year. After 5 hours of putting it together, I realized that all the ceilings in every room of my apartment are too low for me to use it without hitting my head. I can't return it. FML
Today, I joined a gym. I’m overweight and not very athletic, so I was nervous. I looked around and tried a treadmill. I start walking at a chill pace, then got ambitious and cranked it to a "light jog." Within seconds, I tripped, fell, and sent the emergency stop button flying across the room. The gym staff ran over and I swear someone said, “Well, at least he’s trying.” FML
Today, it's easier to buy a house than it is to get out of a gym contract. FML
Today, I went to the new gym I recently signed up for and started exercising in the men-filled weights room, despite being intimidated by them and the strange looks they were giving me. Workout over, I left the room and saw in front of me a door marked, "Women's weights room." Oh. FML
Today, I mentioned to my boyfriend that I want to start working out and get rid of my holiday weight. His response? "Okay, just don't join a gym. People will have to see you there." FML
Today, I was at the gym, well intent on trying a new workout class. I was the only person in the class and the instructor was clearly disappointed. He reluctantly gave me the class but I could tell he was hating the whole experience. FML
Today, I went to the gym for the first time in months. I was so out of shape that I couldn't even finish my warm-up. FML
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Top comments
pulsar_ 13
He kind of did his job there though....the average healthy weight-loss rate is approximately 1-2 lbs per week ish? Weight-loss as rapid as you wanted could really screw you up.
Ashamed_Sister 60
35 pounds in 2 months is really a bit high but 20 to 25 should be possible.
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Comments (87)
exo_went_insane 12
Not to burst your bubble, but that's impossible. 35 pounds is about 16kg, so you're trying to lose 1kg every 4 days. You need a calorie deficit of 7000 to lose 1kg, or almost 2000 per day to lose 1kg in 4 days. That means you need to either live off of practically nothing for 2 months straight, or do very heavy workouts for 2 months straight and still eat very little. I lost 18kg / 40 pounds in 1,5 years which was surprisingly easy, but I've been working out, playing various sports all my life. Take it from someone who walked the walk, there is no way in hell you are going to lose 35 pounds in 2 months.. not in a healthy way, anyway.
lilithfury 23
Hate to burst YOUR bubble, it's not impossible. It depends on your diet, and exercise.
exo_went_insane 12
No it doesn't. 2000 calories per day is such a high deficit that you're basically guaranteed to have health issues. You can develop deficencies with all sorts of nutrients, your intestinal flora can go bad from the lack of nutrition, hell, one of the people commenting had to have SURGERY after only losing 30 pounds in 2 months. Some things are flat out impossible and this is one of them.
PuppiesKisses 19
Even if the goal is unrealistic that was really rude. I hope you got your money back or at least a write up against that dude SOB.
Algorithm 24
I lost 30 in two months from essentially just not eating (literally - maybe 50 kCal in a week) and, as a result, started having gallbladder attacks that necessitated surgery to take it out. Not healthy, not a good time. It may be POSSIBLE if you're morbidly obese to lose 35 in two months while eating a reasonable diet, a possibility people here seem to be overlooking, but still...slower loss is better. Don't make it a speed run. That being said, your instructor's an asshole. Take his advice and find another gym - and make sure the gym knows why.
pink_raindrops 26
I suggest you join myfitnesspal. Its an app where you track your food and exercise, it'll tell you how many calories you should be eating to lose a max of 2 pounds a week which is the most you should lose a week. If you follow it you'll lose about 10 a month.
lilithfury 23
Depending on yer start weight, you can lose a hell of a lot more than that per week and be healthy.
soulreaper12296 28
I'd take his advise and do go to another gym. And while you're at it, report them to a manager.
DiabolusIgnis 15
If someone told me they want to lose 35lb in two months, I'd take it as either a psychological concern or a joke.
lilithfury 23
Message me. I'll help you.
lilithfury 23
I was 398lbs at one point. If I did the 1-2 lbs a week thing, I'd still be around 350 Message me and I'll help you
DoomedGemini 38
Time shouldn't be more important than doing it healthy. The reason there's a limit to what you should lose is so you're doing it HEALTHILY. Op, please just find a new gym that has a team willing to work with you. Not all are dickheads. If you try to do one of the "lost _ in _" that is more than what's recommended speak to your doctor and get their advice and opinion.
Tiny_Nerd 14
Okay, the personal trainer could have been more understanding and professional about it, but they had the right of it. Losing that much weight that fast is extremely unhealthy---even if you are morbidly obese or something like that. First of all it'll kill your metabolism setting you up for weight rebound. It'll also run heck on your organs and probably your joints if you are as over weight as you seem to think you are. Speaking as someone who has lost over sixty pounds----and kept it off---your best bet is to develop a healthier lifestyle. Note I said lifestyle, not diet or weight loss plan. You need to eat better and exercise in such a fashion that you can keep doing it in the long run. That sixty pounds I lost took me three years to lose. That's twenty pounds a year. Yes I became impatient a lot, but it paid off in the long run. My first piece of advice is throw out the scale and buy a measuring tape. If you are exercising to lose weight you will gain muscle and lose fat. At one point during the beginning of my journey I gained back three pounds and lost two inches of waist and hip and one and a half of bust. This as I said means I lost fat and gained muscle which is healthy. Additionally, the more muscle you have the higher your metabolism runs. You'll have to eat for your activity level. I have women who weigh the exact same as I do with waistlines ten inches bigger than mine who eat like birds while I pile my plate. Muscle weighs more than fat and takes more calories to maintain. If you don't eat probably while working out your body will go into famine mode and try to retain the fat. Now while I could go on for pages I'll give you one last piece of advice. Hire a trainer---preferably one who has a bit of training about nutrition---and listen to them. It takes time to get fit and lean. Do your research, for goodness sake stay away from diet drinks, and take it in steps. Going full throttle at the beginning is setting yourself up for burnout and probable injury which will keep you from exercising. Good luck on getting healthy OP.
Tiny_Nerd 14
Also OP if you'd like some advice on how to lose weight in a healthy fashion and keep it off send me a message. I'd be glad to answer any questions you might have and give you tips.
project2r 14
Don't listen to he haters. Set your goal and achieve it. And find a trainer who's not a total knob.
DoomedGemini 38
"Haters" being people who understand healthy weight loss? The instructor was a dick and op shouldn't go back, but as others in the comments have said you need realistic and healthy expectations