Intimacy: Today, I overheard my mother talking to her friend, and using...

By unwanted daughter - 02/07/2014 15:54 - Canada - Oliver

Today, I overheard my mother talking to her friend, and using me as an example of how it's sometimes best to swallow. FML

agreeclassic 55 236

vote type 1 5 863

Winter: Snow and Funny News
Snuggle up and laugh with our winter stories, where snow isn't the only thing sliding around! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Similar FMLs

By Username - 29/10/2010 23:15 - France

Today, I was out eating lunch with my parents when my mom complained that I eat too quickly and don't thoroughly chew my food. My dad exclaimed, "That's because she swallows!" FML

agreeclassic 34 711

vote type 1 5 901

By Bechara - 13/06/2011 09:11 - Pakistan

Today, I overheard my girlfriend telling her friend, "Actually, it's a good thing she died, she was quite a bitch." She was talking about my mother. FML

agreeclassic 62 580

vote type 1 4 527

Highly inappropriate

By Anonymous - 27/05/2013 22:15 - United States - Lehi

Today, my in-laws came for dinner. My 5-year-old son chose that as the perfect time to say, "Good girls always swallow!" when my daughter coughed up some of her food. I have no idea where he heard it, but my mother-in-law blamed me, and my wife had to convince her not to call CPS on me. FML

agreeclassic 50 067

vote type 1 3 757

By glittercat - 26/01/2009 23:44 - United States

Today, I heard my mom moan in the other room. FML

agreeclassic 32 331

vote type 1 3 346

Make it stop, please

By Anonymous - 27/09/2024 14:00 - United States

Today, I had to listen to my mom give a detailed description of her date last night to her friends via speakerphone... while I was trapped in the car with her. When I pointed out that I was still in the back seat, she scoffed and told me, "I have a sex life, deal with it." FML

agreeclassic 486

vote type 1 137

By quietdown - 30/05/2009 19:50 - United States

Today, I began to choke on a large pill while my mom was in the room. Hoping that she would help me, I began to make a lot of noise. After she completely ignored me, I threw my body over a chair, saving my life. At this point my mother asks me to shut up because she can't hear her friend. FML

agreeclassic 63 059

vote type 1 4 767

By Anonymous - 13/11/2010 07:14 - United States

Today, I told my parents that I wanted a little brother. My dad apparently thought it would be funny to tell me that my mom just swallowed my little brother. FML

agreeclassic 62 786

vote type 1 9 360

Me is what matters

By Anonymous - 15/08/2020 05:01

Today, my mother once again interrupted me and talked over me, as though I wasn't saying anything at all. Then she wondered why I remained quiet after she was done talking about her mother doing that. Must run in the family. FML

agreeclassic 1 458

vote type 1 126

By PPP - 28/04/2015 15:05 - United States

Today, I overheard my mom giving my 6-year-old daughter the sex talk. FML

agreeclassic 32 686

vote type 1 3 343

Thanks mom

By Anonymous - 14/02/2021 14:01 - Colombia

Today, my mom decided it was a good idea to remind me about my non-existent sex life while all the family was having dinner. FML

agreeclassic 1 066

vote type 1 115

cwrocker 14

Wednesday 2 July 2014 21:05

Wow, sorry OP sometimes parents speak before they think

mattiscg 22

Wednesday 2 July 2014 21:07

some people shouldn't ever be parents.

Comments

StickyPickles 33

Wednesday 2 July 2014 22:56

It would seem the best part of you did run down your moms leg. . .

Blaze248 10

Wednesday 2 July 2014 23:07

damn

Vagitarian1 10

Thursday 3 July 2014 1:09

Sometimes???

ppsycomom 7

Thursday 3 July 2014 1:19

-----GULP--------

bbshepard21 12

Thursday 3 July 2014 1:35

I wouldn't know how to respond to that.

elsuperloco68 12

Thursday 3 July 2014 1:39

gobble gobble

Fr0gs 15

Thursday 3 July 2014 2:16

I do love a girl who swallows..

festegg 6

Thursday 3 July 2014 4:27

That SUCKS

Enchantedlove 1

Thursday 3 July 2014 4:32

To funny

modet 8

Thursday 3 July 2014 6:53

aww. that is tough to hear. sorry

VDM sur Facebook

Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Kids Parenting Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Intimacy Suspicious Sex Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Top

Today, it's my birthday. My boyfriend took me to dinner and near the end, he pulled out a long, rectangular box. Thinking it was a necklace, I got very excited. It was a wand. FML

agreeclassic 30 575

vote type 1 17 516

Today, I was just beginning a calculus exam when my brain thought it was a good time to get stuck on the song "Close Every Door" from Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat. Now that the exam is over, I'm afraid that I can foresee the future through song. FML

agreeclassic 649

vote type 1 169

Today, I found out that the reason my husband has been coming home late isn’t because of extra work. It’s because he joined a bowling league... and didn’t want me on the team. FML

agreeclassic 387

vote type 1 177

Today, I was excited about my new fitness tracker that I decided to go for a run to test it out. Midway through, I looked down and realized I'd forgot to turn it on. FML

agreeclassic 193

vote type 1 450

Today, my horse learned a new acrobatic trick. Unfortunately, I was still on top of him when he tried to somersault. The horse is fine. I'm in the hospital, fresh out of surgery for a broken femur. FML

agreeclassic 9 865

vote type 1 770

Today, I went to see a dinosaur exhibition with my mum. We walked around and saw a huge dinosaur, made of plastic and rubber. She was very disappointed, saying that she thought there would be real live dinosaurs for us to see. FML

agreeclassic 31 651

vote type 1 2 698