Today, I overheard my boss and a co-worker talking about me. Apparently when I speak, I slur my words so badly that it sounds like I'm speaking in tongues. According to my boss, "he could be possessed by a demon right now, and we'd never even notice." FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I was told that a coworker of mine absolutely hates me. Why? Because sometimes I have a slight stutter, and he thinks I'm mocking his very apparent stutter. FML
Today, my co-worker and I were having a conversation in Russian. Our boss overheard us talking, shouted, "I know you're talking about me! I speak Spanish too!" and threatened to fire us. FML
Today, I was fixing something for a guy at a steel manufacturing company. His employees told me that their boss can't hear properly, so I'd have to be loud when talking to him. When I'd finished, he asked me if I normally talked like that, or if there was something wrong with me. FML
Today, my boss yelled at me in front of several customers for gesturing too much while I talk, because it's "unprofessional". I was using sign language. FML
Today, I received a two-page letter/rant from my boss notifying me of my imminent dismissal, based on issues such as me "speaking in a suppressed voice." FML
Today, I got put in a speech impediment class because apparently I have a lisp. No, my tongue is just swollen, and I can't talk very well because of it. I've talked normally for the past 17 years. FML
Today, I overheard my boss talking about me on the phone. Turns out he was drunk off his ass when he gave the go-ahead to hire me, and he's now searching for any excuse to legally fire me. FML
Today, I got into a slight spot of shit with my new boss over his speech. Apparently he was not actually impersonating Sylvester the Cat, and he just has a speech impediment. When I jokingly said "sufferin' succotash" to him, he wasn't pleased at all. FML
Today, my boss at my new call center job said he'd gotten complaints about me. Apparently I sound "too black" and it's "upsetting" some of our customers. I don't know what that even means, but my boss said I need to "tone it down or we're gonna have some problems". FML
Today, I was unable to communicate with a customer who only spoke French. As a result, my boss called me a "monolingual idiot." I speak Spanish, German, and Japanese. FML
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Top comments
teague95 16
That's smart. Think someone might be possessed, talk about them behind their back.
MrFuzzles 5
The power of Christ compels you!!
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Comments (103)
spottyblanket 8
Then attend speech therapy classes, a lot of people do
bluelagoon24 19
Tell them you'll swallow their souls next time you see them.
HyperBowser1 3
You're boss' logic is wrong, you would acctually behave kind of normal and kill people when no one is looking making it look like an accident or like a heartattack (demons can do that), you also would not eat or sleep and have different eyes than you normaly do (Black, red, or a mix depending on the demon)
Harpy20 24
Except demons don't exist, so it seems the boss' logic is just as ****** as his beliefs. I'd say it was spot on.
hhhwat 0
If I were in your case id egg them on. I don't want u toget lynched though.
szczerba 0
Just tell them you are talking in cursive...
SchlomoTheGrinch 18
Maybe you should stop communicating with spoken words. Your writing seems pretty good. Just pretend to have lost your voice and use a note pad and a pencil for a while. Might be good fun!
SkyDevil 0
YDI.. Stop turning up to work pissed
brittneyyy723 1
Well, let your boss know that he is a moron because speaking in tongues is from God so it would be impossible for you to have a demon & the holy spirit in you at the same time!
DarkDragonfly327 0
Well thats just cruel! I hate when people have no life so they have to bud in on others! Plus its so stereotypical in ways! Sorry :(
thehazelfrost_fml 7
well, could you be possessed? XD