Today, I overheard my boss and a co-worker talking about me. Apparently when I speak, I slur my words so badly that it sounds like I'm speaking in tongues. According to my boss, "he could be possessed by a demon right now, and we'd never even notice." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was told that a coworker of mine absolutely hates me. Why? Because sometimes I have a slight stutter, and he thinks I'm mocking his very apparent stutter. FML
Today, my co-worker and I were having a conversation in Russian. Our boss overheard us talking, shouted, "I know you're talking about me! I speak Spanish too!" and threatened to fire us. FML
Today, I was fixing something for a guy at a steel manufacturing company. His employees told me that their boss can't hear properly, so I'd have to be loud when talking to him. When I'd finished, he asked me if I normally talked like that, or if there was something wrong with me. FML
Today, my boss yelled at me in front of several customers for gesturing too much while I talk, because it's "unprofessional". I was using sign language. FML
Today, I received a two-page letter/rant from my boss notifying me of my imminent dismissal, based on issues such as me "speaking in a suppressed voice." FML
Today, I got put in a speech impediment class because apparently I have a lisp. No, my tongue is just swollen, and I can't talk very well because of it. I've talked normally for the past 17 years. FML
Today, I overheard my boss talking about me on the phone. Turns out he was drunk off his ass when he gave the go-ahead to hire me, and he's now searching for any excuse to legally fire me. FML
Today, I got into a slight spot of shit with my new boss over his speech. Apparently he was not actually impersonating Sylvester the Cat, and he just has a speech impediment. When I jokingly said "sufferin' succotash" to him, he wasn't pleased at all. FML
Today, my boss at my new call center job said he'd gotten complaints about me. Apparently I sound "too black" and it's "upsetting" some of our customers. I don't know what that even means, but my boss said I need to "tone it down or we're gonna have some problems". FML
Today, I was unable to communicate with a customer who only spoke French. As a result, my boss called me a "monolingual idiot." I speak Spanish, German, and Japanese. FML
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Top comments
teague95 16
That's smart. Think someone might be possessed, talk about them behind their back.
MrFuzzles 5
The power of Christ compels you!!
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Comments (103)
nsaul 3
Actually when you speak in tongues it's God speaking His word through you... So quite the opposite actually
stoptrying 9
How can something that doesn't exist speak through you?
Jdumps 1
stop goin to work drunk then. dam aloholics
fj19 9
"Dear (boss), I am placing in my two weeks notice due to the fact that my asshole boss and coworker pointed out that I slur badly enough that I could be posses at any moment"
alpacamybooks 11
Nice name, brony. :)
Uniquitous 1
Perhaps a course in diction is in order?
areyouforcereal 7
Make them feel like huge assholes and tell them you had a stroke.
krae001 3
See when I think of speaking in tongues I think of the infilling of the Holy Ghost. Just part of bein Pentecostal
sydstoomuch 19
Rofl!!!!
Ilikepie82479 20
The only problem is speaking in tongues is actually a spiritual gift (as in from the Holy Spirit) and is a good, healthy, not scary thing
Justkidding100 41
I was gonna agree, then I read your name. YDI.