Today, I overheard my boss and a co-worker talking about me. Apparently when I speak, I slur my words so badly that it sounds like I'm speaking in tongues. According to my boss, "he could be possessed by a demon right now, and we'd never even notice." FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I was told that a coworker of mine absolutely hates me. Why? Because sometimes I have a slight stutter, and he thinks I'm mocking his very apparent stutter. FML
Today, my co-worker and I were having a conversation in Russian. Our boss overheard us talking, shouted, "I know you're talking about me! I speak Spanish too!" and threatened to fire us. FML
Today, I was fixing something for a guy at a steel manufacturing company. His employees told me that their boss can't hear properly, so I'd have to be loud when talking to him. When I'd finished, he asked me if I normally talked like that, or if there was something wrong with me. FML
Today, my boss yelled at me in front of several customers for gesturing too much while I talk, because it's "unprofessional". I was using sign language. FML
Today, I received a two-page letter/rant from my boss notifying me of my imminent dismissal, based on issues such as me "speaking in a suppressed voice." FML
Today, I got put in a speech impediment class because apparently I have a lisp. No, my tongue is just swollen, and I can't talk very well because of it. I've talked normally for the past 17 years. FML
Today, I overheard my boss talking about me on the phone. Turns out he was drunk off his ass when he gave the go-ahead to hire me, and he's now searching for any excuse to legally fire me. FML
Today, I got into a slight spot of shit with my new boss over his speech. Apparently he was not actually impersonating Sylvester the Cat, and he just has a speech impediment. When I jokingly said "sufferin' succotash" to him, he wasn't pleased at all. FML
Today, my boss at my new call center job said he'd gotten complaints about me. Apparently I sound "too black" and it's "upsetting" some of our customers. I don't know what that even means, but my boss said I need to "tone it down or we're gonna have some problems". FML
Today, I was unable to communicate with a customer who only spoke French. As a result, my boss called me a "monolingual idiot." I speak Spanish, German, and Japanese. FML
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Top comments
teague95 16
That's smart. Think someone might be possessed, talk about them behind their back.
MrFuzzles 5
The power of Christ compels you!!
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Comments (103)
rosesofash860 8
Not if OP is a young boy you don't!
insertnameherr 11
I would doubt that because he has a job...
KVKdragon 26
Exorcizamus te, omnis immundus spiritus, omnis satanica potestas, omnis incursio infernalis adversarii, omnis legio, omnis congregatio et secta diabolica Ergo, draco maledicte et omnis legio diabolica, adjuramus te ... cessa decipere humanas creaturas, eisque æternæ perditionìs venenum propinare Ut Ecclesiam tuam secura tibi facias libertate servire, te rogamus, audi nos ;)
MrFuzzles 5
Did anyone else read this out loud and shit started to fly around their room? Just wondering if that's normal.
MichiSixx 12
Someone get Sam and Dean here, stat! We need them to read this, now!
PlaidPanda 9
Who the **** just posts this shit on a forum!? That's some dangerous stuff right there. I get modded for being crude, but this demon crap is allowed, da ****? lol.
TheDrudgeChild 4
I don't think speaking in tongues and Latin are the same, but this was impressive. Thumbs up.
1soda1pOp1 6
High school really does never end. Even someone as esteemed a boss partakes in petty gossip.
alycion 39
I swear in many offices I worked in, the bosses were the worse. People do need to grow up.
KVKdragon 26
So very true. I always hate it whenever my mom talks about my friends at home over stupid things like their weight or something. Ugh X(
kittenvks 11
I'm assuming OP, that they didn't realize you heard them. Learn a little Latin. Or fake it, they probably won't know the difference and start muttering as they walk by you. OR make strange sounds and appear to also look around for where it came from :)
briannac1 0
Time for a new job.
ekb777 13
I wonder if you tried to speak in tongues would it sound like English?
Shit_talkin_chik 5
**** with co-worker and boss &just say you were possessed...
pexy_fml 16
Being possessed is part of diversity at work
Deadgood 5
That's pretty ignorant. Mainly because speaking in tongues is not a sign of demonic possession, but a sign that a person has been filled with the Holy Spirit. Read your Bible, people!
Harpy20 24
Not everyone believes in this storybook you call a bible.
Deadgood 5
True it is a load of shit, lol