Today, I opened my laptop in the train to watch a good film I had downloaded. Of course, it was a fake and the whole carriage was allowed to watch and hear five seconds of butt licking. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I was getting dirty looks on the train whilst air strumming the guitar to a song on my iPod, after glancing at the reflection in the window I realized it looked like I was masturbating. FML
Today, I finished watching an entire movie after boarding the plane, before the plane even took off. FML
Today, while watching a movie on my iPad, a really cute girl sat next to me. Suddenly, everyone on the bus started clapping. I started to clap very loudly as well, asking the girl why we were clapping. She gave me a strange look. I then realized the applause was coming from my headphones. FML
Today, I opened my personal laptop at a company meeting. I forgot that the battery died while watching a porno last night. It was ten seconds of slurping, spitting and gagging. It was my first day. FML
Today, on a train, I nearly choked while sleeping with my mouth wide open. The little old lady sitting opposite me was entertaining herself by throwing little pieces of balled-up tin foil into my mouth. FML
Today, I took a trip to the library's public computer section to get some important work done. After a bit of work, I went to stretch only to see that the man next to me was watching some adult films on his computer and discreetly touching himself. I still had 58 minutes of computer time left. FML
Today, I had to sit in between two boys on a two-hour bus ride. They were watching a movie and each of them had shared an earphone. They made me hold the phone up so both of them could see the screen. FML
Today, I was having a rough day, so I decided to go to the movies to unwind. 15 minutes in, some assmunch behind me said "This movie sucks!" then dumped his drink over my head and ran out. FML
Today, I complained to the train company online. I filled in information and added several photos as evidence. I only realised later that the photos I attached were nudes. FML
Today, I was hitting on a cute girl on the bus. It was going well, and she gave me her name to add on Facebook. Since I didn't have the app, I opened Safari on my phone. It opened to my video from Pornhub I watched yesterday and started playing, on full volume, through the entire bus. FML
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Top comments
Epikouros 32
That's annoying. I need at least five minutes of butt-licking to get off, especially on the train, when people are looking.
eve6grl02 0
gah, ALWAYS preview torrents before watching them in public :P
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Comments (39)
writergirl69 0
I hate it when dumbasses assume that if they like something, everyone must. would you be happy if I went on that train and blasted evanescence and three days grace? didn't think so
peepslover 0
well I like one evanescence song...
PrincessCastiel 27
I love Evanescence but what does that have to do with this FML?
willster2419 0
i would be quite happy if you blasted three days grace..
SeaMen 3
9 you responce makes nosense....your telling me that "OP said he "downloaded it legally"
Alvocezz 0
The OP says that they watched as well as listened to the movie. I assume he was showing them the movie.
murlocholmes 5
Come on. OP surely wanted to see "Assmasters 4", what he believed to be an adventure movie about a young Hispanic boy and his donkey that he takes to and wins the Kentucky derby, and didn't want the uncomfortable, inconvenience that is headphones to ruin his cinematic experience...
leesh85k 0
Your a douche for watching **** on the train!!! That's actually quite sick.. Ur the person on the train that everyone looks at eachother in amazement as if to say r there really ppl like this..? Ewww u ferral...
waynenight 4
you're really stupid. just saying.
Angel1000168 16
He opened the movie and it turned out to be a fake... **** came up instead. He didnt purposly do it geez
Epikouros 32
That's annoying. I need at least five minutes of butt-licking to get off, especially on the train, when people are looking.
WiderWille 11
****, accidentally thumbed down!
StingRay_RZA 16
Damn!!! If only there was a way of adding comments to your favourites list!! #24 that was hilarious!!!
LittleBastard 20
#28 I got you bro.
fmlx24life 0
Ok well, if the file size is 0.00 mb and the average film is what? Like 1.8 gb........ That might be some clue
DarkFirefly206 9
Headphones?