Work: Today, I once again had to tell one of my elderly patients not... - FML

By Anonymous - 05/05/2014 02:58 - United States - Mount Airy

Today, I once again had to tell one of my elderly patients not to grope me. He responded by throwing his bedpan at me. It was full. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 291

You deserved it 4 017

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Same thing different taste

We could be heroes

By OhPleaseNo - 07/04/2020 14:00 - OhPleaseNo

Today, I was at work at my local hospital. I went to the toilet to empty my bladder; the door was half open so I assumed it was empty. Upon opening the door, I was greeted with a half naked old man, who then yelled at me and violently shat himself, all over the walls and floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 701

You deserved it 187

By Anonymous - 28/12/2018 16:00

Today, my violent geriatric patient was trying to escape the facility. When I intervened, she poked my belly then told me I was squishy and that I might explode. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 363

You deserved it 271

By Celewyn - 04/10/2016 11:11 - Australia

Today, my patient knocked my glasses off as I assisted him in the shower. We both looked in terror as they fell into his unflushed toilet. This patient was isolated due to a contagious infection. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 078

You deserved it 1 025

By Anonymous - 28/05/2009 05:04 - United States

Today, I was dealing with a psychiatric patient with a colonostomy bag. She got agitated and ripped the bag from her abdomen and threw it at my face. I got a bag filled with poop thrown at my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 263

You deserved it 3 435

By CathyM - 27/09/2011 05:18 - United States

Today, I was in the ER where I work as a registrar. A patient received a plastic urinal to use in his room. Most patients throw them away when they leave. He, however, decided to take it with him, and as he checked out, put it on the registration counter. Two feet from my face. It was used. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 879

You deserved it 2 791

By ANON - 21/09/2016 14:09 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I visited my Aunt in hospital. Another patient got jealous, so she threw a tantrum. She threw things at us, pulled her drip out, threw herself to the floor, screamed, pounded the floor with her fists and pissed herself. My aunt is still waiting for a new room, and the staff blame me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 776

You deserved it 781

A saint

By Anonymous - 14/06/2020 20:07

Today, I'm taking care of my bedridden, 94-year-old grandma. She woke me up at 6 a.m. only to tell me her UTI is still there. Later, she made me interrupt my 15-minute-dinner a total of 4 times because she wanted things like "more lotion in her buttcrack." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 640

You deserved it 211

By FML - 12/11/2009 07:14 - United States

Today, I held a container while a patient tried to throw up in it. She missed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 417

You deserved it 3 279

Just a prank, son!

By barface - 11/01/2012 02:52 - United States

Today, while very sick, throwing up in a bucket beside my bed, my dad came in pushed my face into the bucket. For a laugh, apparently. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 840

You deserved it 2 810

By Anonymous - 06/09/2016 13:36 - Estonia - Tartu

Today, at the hardware store, I had to physically restrain my senile grandpa from trying to take a crap in one of the display toilets. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 396

You deserved it 971

Next

Top comments

masturdad 11

Monday 5 May 2014 10:09

The fact he needs a bedpan shows that he's too old to grope anything

foxwasalamb 24

Monday 5 May 2014 10:09

he wants his action and wants it now dammit!

Comments

neonglostix 28

Monday 5 May 2014 10:58

I read "parents" instead of "patients" and it made this FML so much worse! 0.o

JME0058 8

Monday 5 May 2014 11:34

I'm sorry op. Sometimes being a cna sucks. Tonight I had one of my residents draw blood from my arm with her talon like nails.

stanley15 12

Monday 5 May 2014 11:52

Been there. it blows.

aruden 25

Monday 5 May 2014 12:30

aww the bright side of being old sexual assault and normal assault all this guy is missing is a few racist comments then the trifecta would be complete

Jakob2255 12

Monday 5 May 2014 12:40

next time tell the patient if they don't have 20's ready they need to stop

schhichick 14

Monday 5 May 2014 12:54

I would be pissed

DanielleinDC 33

Monday 5 May 2014 14:20

Problem patient here. You should let your supervisor know, if you haven't already. Hopefully they can rejigger the assignments so you don't have to deal with this creepy old GOMER.

PurelyCanadian 18

Monday 5 May 2014 16:58

Sounds like he was pissed off.

KingLewisII 34

Monday 5 May 2014 17:06

Seems like the old man modified the how to handle your problems like a dog, if you can't play with it or eat it (throw) pee on it then walk away.

darthpeaches 14

Monday 5 May 2014 18:24

The life of a nurse, lol. That's why I choose emergency medicine.

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The Top

Today, I went to a corner store to restock my chocolate stash. A guy from work walked in to see me and the cashier arguing about the amount of candy I was trying to buy with a jar of pennies. He took one look at me and said, "That time of the month, eh?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 739

You deserved it 27 156

Today, I lost it on my co-workers about how hard I've been working, picking up everyone's slack with no appreciation, and it was clear that I needed to find a job that actually rewarded hard work. As I went to grab my jacket to leave, I saw a cake and gift card for a cruise on the table, from the staff. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 136

You deserved it 72 917

The Top

Today, the lack of heating in my room has gotten to the point where I have to cuddle my clothes for the next day at night so they're not freezing when I wake up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 571

You deserved it 784

Today, I was doing a little victory jig after finally sending out the last of the invitation cards for my wedding when I realised that I had forgotten to put the date of the event on them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 855

You deserved it 23 199

Today, I got a date for Valentine's Day. The date is with my orthodontist; he's going to tighten my braces. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 519

You deserved it 3 599

Today, there are rumors flying around my office that I hooked up with the guy who picks his nose and leaves boogers under tables. I didn't. Last night I took a shower at my boyfriend's place, who happens to use the exact same body wash and shampoo as the office outcast. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 181

You deserved it 3 575

Today, I finally got a job so I could stop missing out on going out with my friends every weekend. Turns out I work only Fridays, Saturdays and Sundays, and there's no way around it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 458

You deserved it 4 837

Today, I told my 10 year-old brother I was turning 23. He said, "You need to get a boyfriend." FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 476

You deserved it 3 815