Work: Today, I nearly got shitcanned for falling asleep on the job....

By Anonymous - 16/05/2016 03:18 - United States - Klamath Falls

Today, I nearly got shitcanned for falling asleep on the job. The only reason I was so dead tired was because my idiot roommates decided to get high last night and loudly argue for hours about stupid crap like "Is it gay to screw a clone of yourself?" I got less than 2 hours of sleep because of them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 080

You deserved it 1 908

Christmas: Snowy Joys and Blunders
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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 25/10/2013 09:01 - United States - Cedar Park

Today, I worked 24 hours straight fixing my company's servers. After it was over, I breathed a huge sigh of relief and promptly fell asleep at my desk. My boss found me an hour later, refused to listen to me, and fired me for sleeping on the job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 623

You deserved it 4 674

Nighty night

By leogs23 - 07/03/2021 14:02

Today, I got into trouble for sleeping at work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 221

You deserved it 1 802

Frozen

By Anonymous - 22/09/2024 09:00 - United States - Denver

Today, I almost got fired from my job because I was caught "sleeping" during a virtual meeting. I wasn't asleep; I was on mute, and my internet froze while I was mid-yawn. It took a while for my boss to grapple with and understand the concept, but still… FML

I agree, your life sucks 430

You deserved it 72

Noise annoys

By Anonymous - 30/11/2021 02:58 - Philippines - Roxas

Today, after studying for an exam, I decided to take a short nap. Just then, our neighbors, who were a couple, argued like crazy about some dumb thing the guy did. I didn't get to rest at all. FML

I agree, your life sucks 848

You deserved it 142

By hoops - 14/01/2011 20:34 - United States

Today, I clocked into work completely exhausted despite having gone to bed early. My roommates stayed up until 4am watching a movie, blasting music, and constantly giggling like madwomen. This is their "new and improved" schedule. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 325

You deserved it 2 857

The Hangover, part 26

By Fabuan - 24/01/2022 14:00

Today, while working from home, I was super drowsy after a heavy bar hangout with the boys. I took a call from a customer. Next thing I know, the call was no longer there. My boss called me to tell me they left a one-star review on our site, saying I fell asleep and snored mid-call. Yes, I was fired. FML

I agree, your life sucks 253

You deserved it 2 001

By anthony512 - 24/05/2013 16:08 - Netherlands - Amsterdam

Today, after a sleepless night, I fell asleep at my work desk. When I awoke, I found my co-workers had duct taped me to my chair. I was yelling at them to untape me, when our boss came in, scolded me for fucking about on the job, and left without saying a word to my colleagues. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 034

You deserved it 12 766

Narcolepsy? Boredom?

By jinnai - 27/03/2021 00:30

Today, I was fired for falling asleep at work. I’m still not sure how I fell asleep, seeing as I’m a stocker and I was actively putting cans on the shelf when it happened. FML

I agree, your life sucks 982

You deserved it 107

Not funny, guys

By person - 20/09/2015 23:57 - United States - League City

Today, I accidentally fell asleep at work after working a 12-hour shift. Instead of waking me up, my coworkers spiked my coffee mug with whiskey and told my boss I was drunk. My boss wouldn't even listen to my side of the story and fired me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 709

You deserved it 2 991

Ambien nights

By Sleepless Dreams - 29/11/2016 04:42 - Canada - Toronto

Today, my roommates told me about all the stupid and embarrassing things I did last night, none of which I remember. Drunk out of my mind? No, I just tried a new sleeping pill after weeks of insomnia. I still barely slept. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 140

You deserved it 703

jamieblue6 16

Monday 16 May 2016 17:31

It's not gay, it's masturbation XD

Tripartita 44

Monday 16 May 2016 17:27

Well, don't keep us in suspense! What was the verdict?! It's not like I care for any part—yes, hold on Tripartita 2.0, I'll be back in a second!—icular reason or anything… I'm just curious.

Comments

toogudferu 9

Monday 16 May 2016 17:24

Try doing the same thing to him, without the drugs of course! Hopefully he will learn it's bad.

Jackimo98 24

Tuesday 17 May 2016 13:08

She should do the same thing but with even more drugs. No sense trying to get back at someone without upping the ante.

Jackimo98 24

Monday 16 May 2016 17:24

Let's be real here... Is it gay to screw a clone of yourself?

ZoroMiHawk 25

Monday 16 May 2016 17:49

Definitely. It's like screwing your twin brother

fakedsincerity 32

Monday 16 May 2016 17:52

not if you say "no ****" first.

friedpwnadge 25

Monday 16 May 2016 17:57

If I **********, I'm technically receiving a handjob from a guy. I guess we're all gay.

WarMachine68 24

Tuesday 17 May 2016 0:46

It's never gay unless you look them in the eye

Attacksloth 33

Monday 16 May 2016 17:26

Well, is it?

Aethereal 14

Monday 16 May 2016 19:30

Yes.

Tripartita 44

Monday 16 May 2016 17:27

Well, don't keep us in suspense! What was the verdict?! It's not like I care for any part—yes, hold on Tripartita 2.0, I'll be back in a second!—icular reason or anything… I'm just curious.

jamieblue6 16

Monday 16 May 2016 17:31

It's not gay, it's masturbation XD

captain_hero89 22

Monday 16 May 2016 20:01

That's a load off my mind

NostalgiaFreak9 41

Monday 16 May 2016 20:26

Taking the phrase "go **** yourself" to a whole new level.

MidnaLink 33

Monday 16 May 2016 17:41

Here's a clue to that question; if a guy says they don't need a girlfriend if they can already suck themself off, than what's the difference for a clone?

Mightytall 35

Monday 16 May 2016 18:12

What was the conclusion? I think in context of having the same DNA you could argue it's like masturbating. However once the clone is sentient there is immediate development independent of yourself and thus a different personality and with that a different person. So in a way it would amount to homosexuality. More interesting is the question if you would even feel attracted to yourself. What do you see in the mirror? Does it turn you on?

Aethereal 14

Monday 16 May 2016 19:22

As soon as we are dealing with separate individuals, it's separate individuals - so the answer is unambiguously yes. I'd likewise focus on how many people would ever have sex with a person identical to them even when they *are* gay...

PackardBell_fml 19

Monday 16 May 2016 23:21

kanye would **** himself sideways lmao

tj4234 35

Monday 16 May 2016 23:34

Some people find that watching them selves jerk it in front of a mirror is a turn on. So I imagine being attracted to a clone of yourself isn't far from that.

ZombieSazza 34

Wednesday 25 May 2016 20:04

Well, narcissistic and extremely vain folk could possibly be turned on by themselves, so it wouldn't be that difficult to foresee someone being sexually attracted to their clone(s).

Mathalamus 24

Monday 16 May 2016 19:12

at this point, i would kick out the roommates and get new ones, who wont break the law. (note: if its actually legal, then id still kick them out for being so inconsiderate.)

MReyes320 12

Monday 16 May 2016 19:54

Not entirely sure why you're getting down voted... I mean, if the roommates bother OP that badly that they're losing sleep and there's a potential of losing a job you would think a viable option would be removing the disruption.

Mathalamus 24

Monday 16 May 2016 21:40

i think i'm being down-voted because i would kick out people for being very badly inconsiderate, or doing illegal things, regardless of anything. after all, if my mom caught me doing weed, she would kick me out, even if its the middle of winter.

tarlax 11

Monday 16 May 2016 23:37

Why do you always flatter yourself? You're getting downvoted because, uh, the roommates and OP would most likely have signed a joint lease and it's not as simple as OP just kicking them out.