Today, my friend and I went to a bar for drinks. I noticed this cute girl and went over to say "Hi." I had a great conversation with her and I asked for her number before she left. She passed it to me on a piece of paper with instructions specifying for my friend to call her and not me. FML
Collection
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I saw a cute girl at a bar and decided to go and chat her up. After charming her with my usual crap for a while, I told her she was really pretty, and asked for her number. She replied, "You asshole, I met you here a year ago and gave you my number, and you never called me." FML
Today, trying to be smooth, I slipped the girl I like a piece of paper with my phone number written on it. A while later, she slipped it back to me and left the room. FML
Today, a very pretty girl came up to me and asked me for my phone number. Very pleased, I give it to her with a huge smile and tell her that I can be reached at any time. I then watch her go back to her group of friends. My number was for her gay friend, who then meekly waved at me. FML
Today, I took a friend out for what I thought was date. After dinner was over and I paid, she pulled the bill out and wrote her name phone number on it for the waiter. FML
Today, I asked a girl for her number and I wrote it down when she gave it to me. When I called her, it wasn't her. She'd given me a restaurant's phone number. FML
Today, I met a cute girl at a dance club. I entered her number in my phone just before she left the club. With a proud smile, I turned the screen towards my buddy, showing off my accomplishment. Attempting to give me a friendly pat he accidentally closed my phone. I hadn't saved the number. FML
Today, I left my number on my receipt for a cute waitress. As I was leaving the bar, she came running out and called me over. I obviously got excited. Turns out I'd forgotten to sign my slip. FML
Today, I looked in my pocket for the phone number of a girl I met last night at a party. I remembered us talking and exchanging phone numbers. When I found the piece of paper, I discovered that instead of writing her number down, I had drunkenly written down my own. FML
Today, I took my girlfriend out to eat at a diner where my friend works. My friend was our waiter but too busy to talk much. He texted me after we'd left to tell me that my girlfriend had slipped him her number. FML
Today, I was at a club with a friend. A cute guy kept smiling and looking over at me. He left his seat and went to the bar and brought back two drinks. He waved me over and then said, "Can you tell your hot friend that I bought her a drink?" FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
brill 3
that's so insulting :( you should give someone else her number instead of your friend :)
brunocbreis 0
You're disturbingly creepy D:
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (64)
ny1996 0
first!
KiSsKiZzy 0
agreed #2 then eat her pets for a rewarding snack!!!
Harry_Poochi 0
This is the part when you find out where she lives, then go to her house/apartment and kill all of her pets and family in front of her, then kill her slowly. Works every time.
brunocbreis 0
You're disturbingly creepy D:
sacredpoppy 0
LOL. Yes. That's a fitting punishment.
Megan36 3
nice lol :P
deadlyriot101 7
Something tells me you have experience in this category.
DemonicAngel151 0
THIRD XD
__ColoradoSunris 0
FYL. That must suck.
XRiseToFallAgain 0
Sorry, bro. =/
screwtaylor 0
She should have gave you the rejection hotline number. It always works.. and it's always funny.
TheBigDawg 8
You'd think most people would recognize the Rejection Hotline numbers by now.
screwtaylor 0
People are still hiding in caves.
iTzSaLaD 0
caves with low reception.
allysonnn 0
well that sucks, its okay :)
zapskimmer 0
EIGHTH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! **** all of you!
brill 3
that's so insulting :( you should give someone else her number instead of your friend :)
svsafety17 0
Give it to so creep in an ally way
caramelize 0
Why? Sure, she's a bit of an insensitive ass, but she doesn't deserve some creep stalking her. OP shouldn't give her number to the friend at all, because chances are some other guy will come along who she likes better.
wd40 0
haha that sucks, sounds like you have a good personality though