Today, I'm supposed to go to my girlfriend's house for Christmas with her family. I got a text from her saying that her dad found our used condom package from last night. I'm supposed to be there in 3 hours. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I left to go home for Christmas holidays. I got 3 hours away and realised I forgot the presents. Along with the engagement ring I was going to give to my girlfriend. FML
Today, in a rush to get my clothes back on at my girlfriend's house at the sound of her parents opening the front door, I forgot to take the condom off. Her dad watched it fall out of my pant leg and onto the kitchen floor. FML
Today, I got a text from my girlfriend. After only having sex once, where I wore a condom and didn't even get to come, she says that she's pregnant. FML
Today, my girlfriend, who I've been dating for over a year, was going to Florida for a short trip with a few friends without me since I couldn't get work off. She asked me to put her iPod in her bag for her as she was almost ready to walk out the door. That's when I saw she'd packed 10 condoms with her. FML
Today, I was at my girlfriends house. After having sex, we went downstairs to where the rest of the family was. At this point I did not realise that I had a used condom stuck to my foot. The family did. FML
Today, my girlfriend's dad pulled out the chocolate-flavoured condom that went missing under the couch. FML
Today, I had sex with my girlfriend while my parents were out. After they got home, my dog brought out our used condom. FML
Today, my girlfriend's mother called her in the bedroom for a serious talk. I overheard them arguing and yelling at each other. It turns out her mother found a condom next to her garbage. We got caught because her cat swallowed the condom and threw it up. FML
Today, my boyfriend decided to give me my Christmas present early because he's going to his grandparents' house for Christmas and won't see me. I was excited, until I unwrapped a sweater that I left there a month ago. FML
Today, I went to work leaving my girlfriend asleep in my bed. Later she calls me, demanding to know how long I've been cheating on her. We don't use condoms but she found several in the bin when she decided to empty it. I had to explain while my colleagues listened that I use them to masturbate. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Stranger32 5
Why were you guys keeping the used ones? To cherish the good memories when you get old?
great_nate 26
Proper Disposal.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (48)
maritime1992 5
so? better to use protection than to go in raw
DarianM 18
At least you were safe?
Birdie27 11
Some people believe that sex before marriage is wrong, so I am guessing that's the situation here.
1hardasswoman 10
So what? Safe sex.
janfleury 19
At least you gf called and let you know that Dad knows. Man up. Look him i n the eye and be polite but take what he has to say. After he is done say, I'm sorry your upset but this is something private between (girlfriend name) and me. Be firm but polite. Good luck OP you need it.
scyth3s 13
Don't say I'm sorry you're upset. That's patronizing and the worst possible way to apologize. better to ACTUALLY man up and hold the ground of "I did nothing wrong. would you rather us do it outdoors behind a dumpster with no protection and be an early grandad? No? Then we'll just use the bed and condoms, then." The whole "I'm sorry you're upset" method of apologizing puts needless blame on a probably already angry person. Apologizing dishonestly or in an accusatory fashion is the worst course of action here.
samomaha 17
Man up and face him. If you're old enough to do the deed, you're old enough to take the heat that comes along with it, deserved or not.
sweetpotato301 7
But why should any 'heat' be expected to come along with it if they're old enough?
epiccrazy 15
My Mom used to throw away all the condoms she found in my drawer. It made no sense to me then and to this day I'm still baffled by this logic.
Arshoo14 2
Safe sex doesn't always keep you safe
scyth3s 13
It does so far more than unprotected sex. Your comment was dumb and you should feel dumb.
Grizz8831 14
I think it's in reference to the father finding out someone is having sex with his daughter... not some God smiting thing.
Arshoo14 2
Exactly! who is dumb now?
CGPainting 0
Oh sh*t lol. You're f*cked
CliffyB03 28
Well, if it'll make you feel any better about the awkwardness, I'll share my story.. he threw away the condom and threw away nearly broken hair clippers. We both were out when his dad went into his bathroom looking for those clippers. He grabbed them from the trash... along with the condom. So I couldn't look his dad in the eye for a few days.