By HollyThorne - 23/04/2016 00:35 - Croatia

Today, I'm a 27-year-old back-to-school university student. Everyone hates me because I'm actually interested in participating in my classes and getting good grades, instead of partying, cheating in exams, and generally not giving a crap. Apparently I make them look bad. FML
I agree, your life sucks 21 207
You deserved it 2 353

HollyThorne tells us more.

Hi, this is OP! I'm not doing the whole partying and not giving a crap part because I've already done that when I was their age so now that I'm older I'm more focused on the important stuff like getting a degree. Still, I underdtand where they are coming from, I was also like them when I was 19. Also, I am working as a freelancer on the Internet 30+hr/week so I'm way too busy and tired to get wild! The reason I think the other students don't like me (there are exceptions, of course) is because I really found myself in the field I'm studying now and like to participate in class discussions with questions and my opinions. Also, since I'm older I'm not that intimidated with my professors so I have a more friendly (but still respectful) relationship with them and they like me for my curiosity and interest. Maybe the class think that I'm a smartass or something. But I am super grateful for your support especially now when I'm tired and frustrated with it all and I will keep going for my own well being :)

Top comments

Hey they're just jealous, keep doing your thing. University doesn't last forever and you sound like you're going places.

What school is this? Maybe it's because I went to college, but seeing older people in school is normal. As long as you remain driven and don't let them bother you, you'll do great. Hope your time at school works out and you get an awesome job right after.

Comments

Who cares if they like you or not? I'm sure you have other friends. Being diligent with your work ius nothing to be ashamed of.

Tell them if you're back to uni it's for a reason (and partying 24/7 is not one). Good luck for the upcoming exams.

Screw them! You are doing it the right way, their way will make them crash and burn! Do you!

Maybe it's your attitude? Without realizing it you might be projecting a negative attitude to and about your classmates. I don't party, cheat, or waste my time at college, but if you made a sweeping generalization out loud like that I probably wouldn't go out of my way to make friends with you. To me it would be like being an exception friend, "I don't really like disabled people but you're cool" "X type of people suck, but not you because we're friends" Maybe search the student union classifieds for study groups aimed at older students. On the participation thing: Are you being rude when you participate? There was a student in my English class that was so abrasive and rude about everything in the class. She would confront the teacher about every little thing. "Are you a communist because you're German? Why can't we believe everything an auto-biography says? Do you soldiers???"

neuronerd 28

I was also going to say something about potential attitude problems. In one of my classes in grad school, there was a student that thought he was hot shit, because he was in the MD PhD program, and most of the rest of us were "just" PhD students. He'd interrupt professors to give his opinion on things, or ask questions that were completely off topic, and easily could be asked after class. He even cut off other students asking questions to either try to answer them, or ask his own. Because of him, class often ran long. We were all in labs doing research, and often set experiments around our class schedule (and even running something 5 to 10 min too long could result in your protein of interest running off a gel, or cause slight differences in an assay to become undetectable). We disliked him, not because he was "serious" or "smart," but because he was arrogant, and wasted our time.

@23 that's a good point. At my school there's a lot of kids that party, but are also serious about their shit. People have rolled up from a Mardi Gras party and in their seats ready to kick ass in discussions. And the attitude thing is important. You might not notice how angry or harsh you sound to someone else until you think about it. Going in with a chip on your shoulder is also a way to piss people off. I have to say I've never had a problem with older students. My favorite is the lady old enough to be my mom who always brought food for us.

A 'true uni experience' is whatever experience OP wants.

Education and dedication, are going to take you far

Well they ARE bad. College is not for being a pile of human garbage, it's for making sure you don't become that. Keep up the good work OP, you're going place and they aren't.

In most countries, tuition fees are quite high, as well as rent in university towns. Thus, anyone who goes to university to party should be encouraged to stay at home and party there (while getting a job and paying for themselves), instead of pushing their parents to debt for nothing.

University is a type of schooling. Schooling is for getting an education, that is a major part of "the true uni experience." If you're blowing off grades and class work in order to party and **** around, you're ignoring what university is actually meant for, to get an education. Eventually, you'll get kicked out if you ignore your schooling obligations too much, and then you'll have nothing to show for it, just a bunch of parties that are pretty useless in the real world. Parties and fun are fine, but if you can't multitask and use your time wisely so you fulfil class obligations too, well you shouldn't be in university.

Hi, this is OP! I'm not doing the whole partying and not giving a crap part because I've already done that when I was their age so now that I'm older I'm more focused on the important stuff like getting a degree. Still, I underdtand where they are coming from, I was also like them when I was 19. Also, I am working as a freelancer on the Internet 30+hr/week so I'm way too busy and tired to get wild! The reason I think the other students don't like me (there are exceptions, of course) is because I really found myself in the field I'm studying now and like to participate in class discussions with questions and my opinions. Also, since I'm older I'm not that intimidated with my professors so I have a more friendly (but still respectful) relationship with them and they like me for my curiosity and interest. Maybe the class think that I'm a smartass or something. But I am super grateful for your support especially now when I'm tired and frustrated with it all and I will keep going for my own well being :)

I don't get it, when I was at university we liked and respected the older students, it was reassuring to have someone who actually had their life together a bit more in our midst, and every group needs someone who will speak up in class instead of letting everyone stew in awkward silence when a teacher asks a question. I reckon you're stuck with a bad bunch.

OP, they don't understand because they're 19 and not as mature as you, neither do they understand at this stage what is really important in life. I think the great thing about being an older student is that you know what you want and take things like your education more seriously, and as you've said, your not intimidated by your professors or participating in class.

If it makes you feel any better OP I had the same problem when I was on college and the same age as the people you're complaining about. Too many people think college is to get away from your parents and goof off, so anyone, of any age, who is genuinely interested in their classes and has their shot together gets looked down on. Hang in there and enjoy getting your degree!

Suaria 38

I don't think all 19 year olds are like that. I'm 20 in less than two weeks but I still study all the time and try to do well in school. I don't go out partying and rarely drink and do drugs. A lot of my friends in college I believe are the same way. It is about finding the people you fit in with. OP is taking a class that has a bunch of people who do not care about their education.

Hey OP, good on you for getting qualifications in a field you're passionate about. I was in your position not too long ago as the oldest in some of my classes by more than a few years (there was a guy who beat me out in some of the classes our degrees shared). I found that offering to tutor some of the younger students eased their tensions and helped me learn better as well. It won't work with all of them but it may get some of them to ease off of you. Good luck on your coursework regardless. :)

Once you get a job out there, and then go back to university, you realize the importance of making the best out of university and getting good grades. Im working now too and I realize that I could have done better during college.

kingdomgirl94 29

Likely not applicable here but in my university there are what people call "try-hards" and "keeners", and they're usually distinctly different from actual smart students in that they are always talking, getting into arguments with the prof, and are always trying to show off by saying things that they think sound smart but aren't. The other distinction is that try-hards and keeners are usually wrong, totally off topic, or interrupting to the point of making it difficult to take notes or finish the lecture. They try really hard to look smart and impress the professor, but fail really hard. Other small things include asking if they can hand in assignments early (because even if you do it early, what's the point other than showing off that you're already done in handing it in sooner?) and visibly annoying the professor. When there is an audible groan every time someone speaks or everyone rolls their eyes, you have a try-hard on your hands.

bearbear120 27

Good for you OP. There's a women in one of my classes who is older maybe 30 and we love having her opinion on things because she had a different point of view from us. Keep going and ignore them.

I went through the same thing the first time I went through--no parties and focused on my studying. I graduated 3 days before my 21st birthday with my Bachelors. In the particular degree I was going for, if we failed the same class twice, we had to choose a different major. I saw lots of people fail out because they didn't put the time and effort in but rather drank and partied. I'm glad you're focusing on what is important and I know it's hard on a person being left out. I hope that you can find at least one other person your age in some of your other classes and if not now, then in future classes. Keep your head up and focus on what is important, OP.

I would say it is completely about your 'participation' - my guess is that they view you as talking too much and taking over the class; generally speaking, other students aren't interested in your opinion, and aren't happy when you spend half the class expressing it. They view you as a know-it-all and wasting their time. If you want to have a chat with the professor and/or other students, do it after class in your free time. Remember, the class isn't there just for you. Monopolising the class time is disrespectful to the other students.

You're just like me. And they do consider me a smartass and there's already a ongoing thing that I'm always getting the highest grade on exams because the teachers love me (they think teachers love me because I'm smart, but it's really because I respect them) and that I'm a genius. But I just love the field I'm studying. Keep working for your future. :)

kingdomgirl94 29

74, no offense but it sounds more like it's because you're kind of full of yourself.

You sound like the one annoying know it all bragging about how they got 100% on the exam and anyone who didn't is a moron. Then you remind the teacher y'all had hw after they forgot.

You could also be killing the grading curve for them. Not really your fault since they're the ones being irresponsible but I know when my mother took a French class at a local college and aced it as a professional linguist herself the younger people taking the class hated her because they "couldn't compete" and she was "ruining the curve" because she was actually studying and not partying every night. She even offered to tutor anyone struggling but was met with resentment.

Going through a similar thing at age 39. I'm currently an LPN going for my RN at a community college, and since I went to a career training school for the LPN I have to take a bunch of general-ed classes now. My anatomy lab started with 24 students and now has only 7, at least 3 of whom are right on the edge of passing/failing and might drop the week before finals. I can't imagine getting this far in the term knowing I had a low grade and not doing anything about it, but then again I'm there for a reason, not just because college is the expected thing to do after high school. Keep up the hard work, OP.