Work: Today, I was checking my schedule online and noticed that I wasn't...

By soontobehobo - United States - Mankato

Today, I was checking my schedule online and noticed that I wasn't scheduled for any shifts next week. Not thinking it was a big deal, I called HR to get it corrected, only to find out I was laid off and they "forgot" to tell me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

41740

You deserved it

2573

Favorite

Work

Messed up

Don't do favors for strangers

Leave spiders alone

By Anonymous - United States

Today, I was brutally run over by a man in a wheelchair. FML

I agree, your life sucks

28592

You deserved it

3961

Favorite

By backtosquareone - Hong Kong - Central District

Today, after months of searching, I was offered a job. After hearing how excited I was on the phone, HR docked the initial salary offer by 40% in the written contract. She said it was non-negotiable. Guess I'm back to job hunting. FML

I agree, your life sucks

5499

You deserved it

454

Favorite

By Anonymous - Australia - Rydalmere

Today, I was studying for a big test I have next Tuesday in my room. I heard a creak in my ceiling but assumed it was nothing as my house is old. Thirty seconds later something fell from my air vent directly onto my head. It was a giant cockroach. FML

I agree, your life sucks

28475

You deserved it

2125

Favorite

By pk24 - United States

Today, I decided to try and call into a local radio station to try and win concert tickets for one of my favorite bands. I called in and was actually the winning number. When asked my name I answered quickly, but all I heard was "Hello? Hello?" Then they hung up. My cell phone was on mute. FML

I agree, your life sucks

56250

You deserved it

16526

Favorite

By PiMan - United States

Thanks, I hate it

Today, after spending four days having my resume, cover letter, and references proofread and perfected by professionals, I finally submitted it all to the summer internship of my dreams. I received a rejection letter ten minutes later. FML

I agree, your life sucks

30950

You deserved it

3088

Favorite

By Katt - United States - Columbia

Today, I was cuddling my boyfriend on the lobby's couch. We were not paying attention to anything but each other. Apparently, someone tied our shoes together. I stood up and faceplanted into a pool table. I'm now missing two teeth. FML

I agree, your life sucks

12667

You deserved it

6848

Favorite

By kl - Canada

Today, after waiting a couple weeks, I finally slept with this guy I really like. It went like this: 1 Mississippi, 2 Mississippi, 3 Mississippi, done. FML

I agree, your life sucks

25004

You deserved it

4748

Favorite

By inder - United Kingdom

Today, while having sex, I found out that I'm so flexible that when I bend over backwards, the backs of my knees can touch my shoulders. My boyfriend is now extremely jealous and is debating about breaking up with me. Even I don't get it. FML

I agree, your life sucks

49621

You deserved it

4707

Favorite

By fuck you, Jeff - United States - Phoenix

Today, I was out drinking with some colleagues, when one started ranting about some pretty sensitive subjects. There were some Latino guys nearby, and as soon as he said "I'm not racist, but..." I tried to casually get the hell out of there. We all got the crap beaten out of us anyway. FML

I agree, your life sucks

44421

You deserved it

6855

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States - San Francisco

Today, I was stung by a wasp. Startled, I stumbled and grabbed a nearby tree branch to regain my balance. The branch happened to be the location of the wasp's nest, which fell to the ground and split open. The wasps weren't happy. FML

I agree, your life sucks

26159

You deserved it

1928

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States - Russell Springs

Today, I was babysitting a little girl. I let her play with a box of old Star Wars toys to keep her occupied while I quickly went to use the bathroom, and when I returned she was making the 15 or so figures have a massive orgy, sex sounds included. FML

I agree, your life sucks

48420

You deserved it

5714

Favorite

By roo - United Kingdom

Today, I was getting a flight home. I'd worn a belt because my skirt was too big. When I walked through security, they asked me to remove my belt. My skirt fell down in front of everyone. FML

I agree, your life sucks

27836

You deserved it

13349

Favorite

By jezusflowers - United States

Today, I stopped at a red light. I noticed the car in front of me had the reverse lights on. I thought to myself "Meh, that person must know. They wouldn't do that." The light turned green. Turns out they didn't. Nor did they have insurance. FML

I agree, your life sucks

53780

You deserved it

5091

Favorite

By GoodbyeNewJob

Today, I accidentally said, "Hell yes!" in front of a potential employer and a group of kids before an interview at a daycare center. FML

I agree, your life sucks

7893

You deserved it

3675

Favorite

By cjbutterfly96 - United States

Today, I was hanging out with a guy for the second time, and he was helping me buy a Christmas present for my dad. I excused myself to go to the bathroom, and when I came out, he was gone. He left me alone and took my dad's present with him. FML

I agree, your life sucks

23354

You deserved it

2252

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States - Pleasantville

Today, I was given a call home, a 3-day-suspension, and a week of detention in school for a "serious violation of the code of conduct." Said violation? Jogging in the middle of the hall. FML

I agree, your life sucks

42326

You deserved it

4674

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States

Today, while looking through a stack of possible pictures for Facebook, I found one I really liked, until I noticed that I have recently developed a bald patch. Problem? I am a 22 year old woman. FML

I agree, your life sucks

32918

You deserved it

3040

Favorite

By T-Bear - United States - College Station

Today, I'm staying at my grandparents' house. I went upstairs to grab my sketchbook to show off to my grandma. My grandpa is half-deaf, which I guess explains how he didn't hear me. I heard him though, jerking off and muttering the most disgusting sexual things about "Tara." I'm Tara. FML

I agree, your life sucks

36731

You deserved it

2206

Favorite

By notsick

Today, my roommate invited her brother over to drink. Neither can handle their drink and her brother is a sympathy spewer. He’s not my guest but I had to clean up vomit until 4 in the morning. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2042

You deserved it

185

Favorite

By babysitter - United States

Today, I was twenty minutes into babysitting my twin baby cousins when I realized that there are no diapers to be found anywhere in the house. I have no way to get a hold of my aunt, no money to buy new diapers, and I don't even have a way to get to the store in the first place. The next few hours are going to be lovely. FML

I agree, your life sucks

39137

You deserved it

4919

Favorite

By Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, my girlfriend started to plan our wedding. We've been going out for 3 days. FML

I agree, your life sucks

46426

You deserved it

5416

Favorite

By evecamp - United States

Today, my girlfriend of 11 months told me that she's been faking her orgasms the whole time. Just to make me "proud" of myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks

21940

You deserved it

5882

Favorite

By skyhigh - United States

Today, I discovered my parents have spent my college fund because "2012 will happen" before I graduate. FML

I agree, your life sucks

48631

You deserved it

3297

Favorite

By vee2013 - Canada - London

Today, I finally decided to do something productive and clean my room. When I went to pick up the first thing off my floor I hit my head on my desk and gave myself a concussion. FML

I agree, your life sucks

39107

You deserved it

6905

Favorite

By apparentlyugly - United States - Henderson

Today, after spending a lazy day at home, I went to UPS with my mom to help her pick up a package. While in line, she sent me back to the car because I'm, "an embarrassment to be around" when I'm not wearing makeup. FML

I agree, your life sucks

33057

You deserved it

2934

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States - Nixa

Today, after having taken hormone tablets to try to increase my cup size, I realized that I've basically reversed my menopause. FML

I agree, your life sucks

6835

You deserved it

33694

Favorite

By melikeyturtles - United States

Today, I went to my boyfriend's apartment to break up with him since he's always busy, and I haven't seen or spoke to him in almost 2 months. I arrived to find out from his landlord that he'd moved out 3 weeks ago, leaving a note saying that we were over. FML

I agree, your life sucks

32164

You deserved it

8358

Favorite

By unproud - United Kingdom - Luton

Today, while my hometown mayor becomes a world-famous crackhead and douche-bag, here in the UK it has come to this: when people hear my accent and ask me if I'm American, it's less embarrassing just to say, "Yeah", rather than admit I'm Canadian. FML

I agree, your life sucks

42024

You deserved it

7005

Favorite

By imsadnow - United States

Today, I was having a bad day at work. Then, on my coffee break, a little boy walked up to me and told me I was the prettiest girl he'd ever seen. I'm a guy. FML

I agree, your life sucks

38038

You deserved it

7269

Favorite

By jmac - United States

Today, I dropped a knife while cooking. Luckily it missed my foot, but only because it hit my knee. FML

I agree, your life sucks

26305

You deserved it

4279

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States

Today, I spent almost two hours cleaning my fish tank, only to find out that my cat had secretly eaten all of my fish while I was cleaning the tank. FML

I agree, your life sucks

38405

You deserved it

8385

Favorite

By Unknown - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were going to have sex for the first time. He didn't know how to take off my bra and insisted that he'd figure it out on his own. He gave up a couple seconds later and played video games instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks

42748

You deserved it

6364

Favorite

By NotRetarded - United States

Today, I went to a friend's sweet sixteen. Since I didn't know any else at the party I was really happy when the mother told me she sat me next to someone she thought I would have a lot in common with. He ended up being mentally challenged and talked to a sock puppet the whole party. FML

I agree, your life sucks

57931

You deserved it

3838

Favorite

By Anonymous - 27/12/2020 01:01 - United States - Saint Joseph

Stranded

Today, my husband found out that not only has he tested positive for influenza A, but also has tested positive for Covid 19. My work won't let me return until I have isolated for 14 days from someone with Covid. Our house is really small. FML

I agree, your life sucks

739

You deserved it

106

Favorite

By shortiem - United States

Today, my dorm had a mandatory meeting about body image. I went to the meeting and left feeling all good about myself. As soon as I got back to my room, my favorite jeans ripped right across my butt. FML

I agree, your life sucks

23626

You deserved it

4797

Favorite

By Opplyst11 - United States

Today, I was nude modeling for the first time for a life art class. The only criteria for the class was that I not move at all while being observed. After a few seconds I noticed a really hot girl drawing me. I got a hard on. FML

I agree, your life sucks

83078

You deserved it

30396

Favorite

By AnnoyedWoman - United Kingdom - Southampton

Today, I went camping with my husband not too far from our house. We got our tent pitched up, stove ready and roll-out bed out. He then said, "I'm just gonna go for a walk." It had been about an hour before I decided to go find him. He had walked home to play CoD. FML

I agree, your life sucks

49327

You deserved it

5570

Favorite

By Anonymous - 1/10/2020 17:02 - United States - Los Angeles

Left behind

Today, it was my best friend's birthday party. Her boyfriend and I agreed to organize a dinner date to surprise her and celebrate. They celebrated, but forgot me until they arrived at the restaurant and saw the dinner reservation under my name. FML

I agree, your life sucks

901

You deserved it

108

Favorite

By hometown blues

Today, I’d been dying to escape my dreary hometown, but had panic attacks at the thought of being on my own, but at last, I'd found a place I could afford. Turns out, the guy I was going to rent from was just arrested for murdering his last tenant. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2136

You deserved it

314

Favorite

By Eimii - United States

Today, my 70 year old coworker gave me a letter telling me he was attracted to me, and wishes to have a relationship in which he can 'hold me in his arms every night'. I'm 21. FML

I agree, your life sucks

47018

You deserved it

3283

Favorite

Add a comment

You must be logged in to be able to post comments!

Create my account Sign in

Top comments

By Bloink | 25

#6060024 - Monday 8 September 2014 15:15

my mom is like that, she yells at me for not doing something, but she forgets to tell me to do it in the first place

By DerrickJames | 33

#6060021 - Monday 8 September 2014 15:09

Hollister co. does a similar thing :/ You get slowly iced out.

COMMENTS

By DerrickJames | 33

#6060021 - Monday 8 September 2014 15:09

Hollister co. does a similar thing :/ You get slowly iced out.

Jreslier | 15

#6060136 - Monday 8 September 2014 18:11

Wow that's interesting, you should write a book about that!

LiliLatte | 15

#6060416 - Tuesday 9 September 2014 1:12

#29 personally, I wouldn't want to read about Hollister's way of laying off their employees

By Bloink | 25

#6060024 - Monday 8 September 2014 15:15

my mom is like that, she yells at me for not doing something, but she forgets to tell me to do it in the first place

MichellinMan | 20

#6060036 - Monday 8 September 2014 15:32

AND I THOUGHT I WAS THE ONLY ONE

killuhand | 12

#6060051 - Monday 8 September 2014 15:53

call HR

EverestMelting | 23

#6060074 - Monday 8 September 2014 16:21

I enjoyed your comment #18. Have an upvote.

HJKM_fml | 19

#6060214 - Monday 8 September 2014 19:57

@18 OP already talked to HR. They were the ones who forgot to tell OP they were laid off in the first place.

jamiro11 | 19

#6060299 - Monday 8 September 2014 22:10

finally! i am no longer alone!

By Kranthi | 13

#6060025 - Monday 8 September 2014 15:16

You'll soon get a better job probably.
Don't worry.

jerryj | 27

#6060090 - Monday 8 September 2014 16:53

You make it sound like OP can passively wait and better job offers will suddenly appear, overflowing from her pockets.

By Dlzq | 22

#6060027 - Monday 8 September 2014 15:18

Fucking cunts.

CrAzYELF4 | 26

#6060050 - Monday 8 September 2014 15:53

That really isn't necessary to say. It isn't helping anything.

Dlzq | 22

#6060283 - Monday 8 September 2014 21:39

Comments are supposed to help? Help what?

By woainishamu | 21

#6060028 - Monday 8 September 2014 15:18

HR = How Ridiculous

thefmlman2011 | 35

#6060046 - Monday 8 September 2014 15:48

What you did there, I see it

LunarServant | 10

#6062127 - Thursday 11 September 2014 12:35

Damnit. You beat me to it.

By kAPISH | 29

#6060029 - Monday 8 September 2014 15:18

This is where you should've replied "I was just calling letting you know i quit"

Senseless_487 | 29

#6060244 - Monday 8 September 2014 20:37

Nah, getting laid off is better. Now OP can file for unemployment!

kAPISH | 29

#6060421 - Tuesday 9 September 2014 1:18

Since she was already laid of it wouldn't do any matter if she said she was quitting though

By Baucis | 10

#6060032 - Monday 8 September 2014 15:19

This place obviously has their shit together, very professional.

By ahole69 | 2

#6060034 - Monday 8 September 2014 15:25

You could always suck cock on the corner that is the oldest profession by the way I always tip if she swallows

MichellinMan | 20

#6060043 - Monday 8 September 2014 15:43

Dude...?

jerryj | 27

#6060093 - Monday 8 September 2014 16:54

Check his username and suddenly it's not so surprising that he would post such drivel.

rachangie | 19

#6060148 - Monday 8 September 2014 18:42

And girls you pay are probably the only ones that would go near it.

23lf | 16

#6060183 - Monday 8 September 2014 19:34

Hell, the girls he pays don't even want to

ThatWeirdoChick | 2

#7916460 - Thursday 25 June 2020 21:16

you live up to your username, huh?

By Ltsdragons | 19

#6060035 - Monday 8 September 2014 15:27

Dang OP, I'm sorry, but on the bright side, you might find a job soon that you'll like more than your job that forgot to tell you they laid you off

By shinxanta | 21

#6060045 - Monday 8 September 2014 15:45

Aren't they required to call you or something? Like legal-wise?