Intimacy: Today, I lost my virginity. It took all of 30 seconds. FML

By unsatisfied - 09/02/2010 03:33 - France

Today, I lost my virginity. It took all of 30 seconds. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 484

You deserved it 5 367

When Christmas Ends Badly…
Rather than debating politics with Uncle Roger for the umpteenth time, share the best Christmas FMLs to finally have a good family meal! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By Lady Vulva - 19/09/2015 02:56

Today, I lost my virginity to my boyfriend. It lasted about 20 seconds, and he cried during it. I later heard him telling his friends he'd given me a "damn good pounding" and "made her cum 3 times". I wish. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 035

You deserved it 3 085

By ShouldveStayedAVirgin - 13/01/2016 18:30 - United States - Houston

Today, I lost my virginity to my boyfriend of 7 years. He thrusted as fast as rabbits. I waited years for 10 seconds. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 953

You deserved it 7 101

By Anonymous - 03/11/2012 01:23 - Canada - Bedford

Today, I finally lost my virginity to my boyfriend. It hurt like hell, was over in less than a minute, and he tried to reuse the condom for a second round. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 086

You deserved it 6 101

By Anonymous - 04/02/2013 17:17 - United States - Durham

Today, my girlfriend lost her virginity. I still have mine, though. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 449

You deserved it 3 892

By NotALuckyGuy - 07/04/2015 16:19 - United States - Columbus

Today, I lost my virginity in a porta-potty. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 042

You deserved it 47 423

New skills

By Anonymous - 27/09/2020 08:03 - United Kingdom - Bristol

Today, I lost my virginity. Today, I also learned how to fake an orgasm. Twice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 130

You deserved it 1 226

Nuts

By Anonymous - 15/09/2011 20:03 - United States

Today, I lost my virginity to my boyfriend. Not only did he last just 2 minutes, he also sat there for a while afterwards, smacking his semi-erect penis in awe and saying, "Look, it's still hard! How crazy is that?!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 914

You deserved it 6 166

A tale as old as time

By flopsy - 03/12/2010 16:19 - Australia

Today, I was about to lose my virginity. I couldn't get it up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 443

You deserved it 11 373

By James - 22/07/2011 05:00 - United States

Today, I lost my virginity to the woman of my dreams. I finished before entering. I'm 28 years old. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 940

You deserved it 12 126

By Anonymous - 10/03/2012 07:23 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I decided it was time to lose our virginity. After our clothes were removed, we spent 30 minutes trying to figure out how to actually have sex, and eventually gave up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 087

You deserved it 59 389

sucksforyoudude 0

Tuesday 9 February 2010 9:05

mist have been his first time too

AngryNinja 1

Tuesday 9 February 2010 22:03

no she didn't get rapped. eminem has better things to do. she probably didn't get raped either or she's say so.

Comments

danman91 0

Tuesday 9 February 2010 9:51

what a waste lol

angry_girl 0

Tuesday 9 February 2010 9:53

that blows .... ha ha blows

CallMeHush 0

Tuesday 9 February 2010 10:00

Double up on the latex.

Sandstorm_fml 0

Tuesday 9 February 2010 19:13

Stupidest thing I have ever heard.

HeeeB21 0

Tuesday 9 February 2010 10:12

I hope it wasn't to a guy LOL

terror_twins 0

Tuesday 9 February 2010 10:12

I wouldn't even call that sex hahaha

Snehvide 0

Tuesday 9 February 2010 10:18

sounds like my first time.. that suckes

ukiba 0

Tuesday 9 February 2010 10:25

maybe you should loosen up a little

sidvoltaire 0

Tuesday 9 February 2010 10:49

Deal with it

EPICApathy 0

Tuesday 9 February 2010 10:50

look at the bright atleast it wasn't 30 mins of the worst sex you had.

R3kli3 10

Tuesday 9 February 2010 11:02

Oh Jesus Lord!!

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Suspicious Sex Intimacy Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

The Top

Today, in a bid to avoid going to the dentist, my husband decided to have one of his drunk buddies pull his tooth out with pliers. Now he has to have surgery to remove the shards of tooth left rotting in his mouth. It’s going to cost thousands. Thanks babe. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 237

You deserved it 227

Today, I babysat my neighbor's twin 4-year-old girls again. When I took them out for lunch, they apparently had been addressing themselves as "my bitches", taught to them by their devil spawn 13-year-old brother. Everyone, including Chuck E. Cheese himself, was not pleased. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 433

You deserved it 874

Today, I returned home from a 2-day trip. Before I left, I told my brother to move my car across the street when the street cleaner passes by. Turns out, he used all my gas and got so wasted he forgot to move my car. I got a big ticket that he said he'd pay for. He's unemployed and lives off me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 890

You deserved it 4 948

Today, during dinner, my boyfriend slowly walked up next to me, got on one knee, and in one movement pointed at my feet and shouted, "WHAT ARE THOSE?!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 762

You deserved it 3 513

Today, I totaled my car, because I mistook the leaves blowing across the road for a child. I swerved and hit a tree. The home owner wants to sue for "harming his tree" and hospital wants to test my mental stability. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 818

You deserved it 6 653

Today, my landlord informed me that from now on, she'd prefer if I paid my rent in cash each month. Apparently, I "look sketchy" and she didn't "ever want to deal with the hassle of a bounced check." FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 620

You deserved it 2 288

Same thing different taste

New skills

Nuts

A tale as old as time

Top comments

Comments